


The Silence in Between

by Narcissus_rose



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - Regency, Alternate Universe Italy, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Devoted Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Duelling, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Forbidden Love, Hurt/Comfort, Love Letters, Masturbation, Mentions of homophobia, Music, Mutual Pining, No premarital pregnancy, Pride and Prejudice References, References to Ancient Greek Religion & Lore, References to Shakespeare, Rey Needs A Hug, Reylo Baby, Romance, Romantic Fluff, Secret Relationship, Sexual Tension, Smut, light Violence, opera - Freeform, pregnancy in epilogue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:28:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 59,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26167915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Narcissus_rose/pseuds/Narcissus_rose
Summary: After soprano Bazine Natal leaves Luke Skywalker's opera house, Rey, one of his own students is brought in to replace her. immediately she clashes with Ben, Skywalkers roguish nephew, setting them up for a bitter rivalry. will it last, or will feelings shift into something deeper, and more powerful than hate.My working title for this was pride and prejudice and opera.Extract:“After Ben had finished speaking with Mitaka, he saw a very angry Rey walking up towards him. As she got closer he noticed the powdering of freckles that covered her nose and cheeks, as well the pinkness of her lips. She would have been quite beautiful to look at, had it not been for the look of murder in her hazel eyes.“
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Poe Dameron/Finn, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 55
Kudos: 131
Collections: Ijustfellintothissendhelp





	1. Chapter 1

There was an excitement in the air that couldn’t be placed. There always was when a new singer was introduced, but this one was different. 

Seemingly out of nowhere this young soprano had been plucked out of obscurity and thrust into the limelight of the Venetian opera scene. People knew that Skywalker had a student, but their identity had remained unknown until the previous week after Bazine left.

Bazine had of course been the previous lead soprano until she left, after becoming engaged to a director from Rome. While many were happy for her, they were also glad to be rid of her. She was cruel, callous and seemed to take a certain pleasure in reminding all around her that she was the most talented one in the room at any given moment.

“ _You know, I was given my first lead at sixteen!”_ She would announce almost constantly, much to everyone's annoyance. It was why, when she met her husband, Ben could only feel pity for him. He was a good man, likeable; he couldn’t imagine what she would be like as an old lady who’s career had faded and now only had the memories of better days to keep her ego fed.

Once the initial relief had waned, everyone began to wonder as to who would replace her. There were other sopranos, but Luke had already told them that they would not be given any leading roles. That was why everyone was so shocked when Luke had said that his student would take over in her stead. 

That of course had interested Ben. He had been the only other person for Luke to personally tutor, so whoever this mystery woman was, she must have been special. Although, Ben had only been tutored due to being Luke’s nephew; this only increased his interest in the student.

As Ben walked through the doors of the opera house, and into the theatre, he saw a group had formed around a woman in a pale pink dress with lace around the bodice and carefully sculpted brown curls framing her young face, which appeared somewhat familiar. He was going to introduce himself but he saw Luke approach from the corner of his eye and decided to let him introduce her to everyone.

“Now everyone,” he called out as he approached the group surrounding the girl, “I would like to introduce you to Rey, my student of these last ten years. As you know she will be our new leading lady and I hope you will welcome her and come to love her as I do. She is a precious girl and a talent like no other..” With that small introductory speech, Rey was once again left alone, forced to speak to her fellow singers.

“Ben,” his uncle said, drawing him away from his intended direction, “I need to speak with you.”

“About what uncle?” Ben drawled. He never got on with his uncle and dreaded whenever Luke pulled him away to ‘talk’.

“It’s about Rey,” he said, in hushed tones, “I know what you're like, which is why I’m telling you this. Rey is Maz Kanata's ward, so for the sake of Maz, keep away from her. She has a fiance and I’ll be damned if you do anything to that girl.” Ben just rolled his eyes and agreed to keep away from her. Over the years he had garnered a reputation of being a heartbreaker and cad. That was of course all nonsense; those stories had only come about because he was seen in Cafe Florian with a friend. That was somehow all it took to give him the image of being the new Casanova. Because of this, parents kept their daughters as far away from him as possible, lest he deflowers their darling girls.

Ben had of course realized where he recognized Rey from. His father had taken him to see Maz about ten years ago and there they met her ward. She had grown up a bit, but she was eleven when he last saw her. He never usually liked the people his father took him to meet but Maz has been the exception, she was interested in him beyond his family. Rey on the other hand, was in her room studying, so they never really met beyond the initial pleasantries. 

He decided that he was going to go over and at least say hello when Mitaka approached asking his opinion of the girl.

* * *

Rey had been nervous, she had never really worked with any other singers apart from Luke. She had certainly never been the star before, but here she was, being pushed onstage and told that she was going to lead in Dameron's new opera.

There was a part of her that was feeling very overwhelmed with everybody crowding around her trying to say hello. Thankfully one of the altos, Rose Tico, has taken her under her wing and was now filtering the crowd out.

Just entering the building had been overwhelming. The grand gold accents and marble floors never failed to amaze her when she was an audience member, but knowing that she would be performing there was different. As she passed different sculptures she thought about when the wonder of being surrounded by such beauty and art would fully fade, when it would just be something she passed every day when walking into rehearsals and performance. She wondered when the shine of the golden ceiling would begin to fade in her mind and when everything would grow dull and mundane.

In the back of the theatre, she saw a tall man enter through the double doors at the end. He was finely dressed in black silk breeches and a white shirt with a black cravat. He cut a striking image, his black shoulder-length hair was unusual for modern fashions, but somehow he was still incredibly handsome, despite an out of fashion look. She also found his angular features rather attractive, complimenting the all-black ensemble he wore.

“That’s Ben Solo,” Rose whispered as he approached, “Luke’s nephew and one of the most famous opera stars in Venice.” Rey knew of him. His wild ways, frequent attendance at the coffee houses and a reputation for being a cad. Yes, Rey knew him perfectly well. She decided that it would be best to keep away from him, lest she gets into trouble or her fiance gets jealous. 

“This is Finn,” Rose said as she continued introducing people, “he’s actually my husband, and first violin.” as he approached, Rose placed her hand in the crook of his arm as he placed his free hand on hers.

“So you’re Luke’s mystery student,” he said, “to be honest most of us weren’t sure that she even existed…”

“Finn!” Rose shouted out in shock at her husband's impertinence, giving him a light slap on the ribs, making Rey giggle slightly. She always found it amusing to see married couples bicker in that way, with no real mirth. She often wondered if she would be like that when she got married. Finn apologized before going off to meet with the rest of the orchestra, leaving Rey and Rose alone, save for Solo and Mitaka, who were talking in hushed voices at a distance from them.

“She’s Maz’s ward,” Solo said imperiously, “as if I would be interested in the likes of her.” While Rey was insulted, she decided not to let it get to her. So what if a cad like himself wasn’t interested? She would be a first, and being the first at something was an honour in itself.

“Do you know anything of who her parents are?” Mitaka asked, although his voice was harder to make out.

“Knowing Maz, probably a couple of drunkards who left her wandering the streets. That or one of the ladies from one of the local brothels decided to dump her on Maz. Honestly, I’m surprised that Luke would want someone so inexperienced to come in as our leading lady. She doesn’t look old enough to have gotten past nursery rhymes.” With that Rey was simmering with rage. Rose also appeared outraged by the comments but held her back from going up to Solo and slapping him across his smug face.

While Rey deeply wished that she could hit him, she had worked her whole life to get to where she is and decided not to throw it away all on some stupid comment some stupid man made. She had to be the bigger person, and while she hated it, she had to do it.

But maybe she could have a moment of weakness.

* * *

After Ben had finished speaking with Mitaka, he saw a very angry Rey walking up towards him. As she got closer he noticed the powdering of freckles that covered her nose and cheeks, as well the pinkness of her lips. She would have been quite beautiful to look at, had it not been for the look of murder in her hazel eyes.

“Mr. Solo,” she said as she schooled her face, “we haven’t been introduced yet.” While her words were cordial, her voice was laced with venom. He felt like he was being led into a trap of some kind.

“No we haven’t,” he said as he went to take her hand, but she quickly pulled it away, “is something wrong?”

“Well, I just think that it is rather below you to be making wild accusations about someone you have not even been introduced to.” And with that Ben paled. She heard every word of his conversation with Mitaka. He was going to try and defend himself but she began speaking again before he got the chance, “don’t worry Mr. Solo, I won’t be singing nursery rhymes, I’ve trained with your uncle since I was eleven, so I hope that I’ll be able to keep up. As for my parents, however, I have no idea who they were other than the fact that I have called Maz Kanata mother since the age of five. And while my low birth may offend your sensibilities, I’m afraid that’s not the case for everyone.” Her voice was dripping with sarcasm and mirth.

“And who is this man whose sensibilities are not offended by your low birth?” He shot back as he watched a wave of rage wash over her. He assumed that this man was probably the second son of some businessman, and was, therefore, freer to choose his own wife. 

“I’ll have you know that my fiance is Armitage Hux, the businessman.” She responded imperiously. 

The name gave him pause, “I think that tells me everything I need to know about you,” he said bitterly, as he went to sit down while Poe announced their new opera.

Ben knew Hux. He was opportunistic, backstabbing and two-faced. When the Austrians took over in 1797 he was the first to offer a warm welcome. Well, his father was offering the welcome, but Hux was there right by his side. It was only natural when Venice was handed over to the French in 1805 that Armitage would be there, welcoming them with open arms. 

Ben also has his personal reasons for disliking Hux. He seemed to take pleasure in pointing out his ‘otherness’ when they were at school together. Then it appeared that anything other than a Venetian was below him. That was not the case. As it turns out nobody, no matter where they are from, is below him, as long as they make him a tidy profit.

Any woman who would want to shackle herself to him must be of a similar, untrustworthy disposition. Either that or he has shown her only his charming nature that could enchant anybody. Perhaps he is saving his true colours for the wedding night. Although he doubted that, Maz was known as a good judge of character and wouldn’t see her ward married off to him unless they were made for each other.

Ben was pulled from his thinking when Poe stood up to make his announcement.

“So, now that everybody has been introduced to our lovely new soprano I am happy to tell you that our next production will be Romeo and Juliet, by yours truly,” Poe said as he handed out scripts for everyone, “Mr. Solo will be playing Romeo and Miss Kanata will be playing Juliet, Mr. Mitaka will be playing Mercutio, Mrs. Tico will be the nurse…” Ben didn’t hear the rest of the cast list. He supposed that he and Rey were bound to play lovers, but having it right in front of him as he held his music came as a shock. He and the soon to be Mrs. Armitage Hux had gotten off to a bad start, and it was highly unlikely that things would improve in the near future, especially judging by the withering gaze aimed in his direction.

It was going to be a long season.

* * *

Rey was furious. 

First, he insults her status, then he insults her ability, and then he insults her fiance. Her fury was made only worse when she was told that she would have to pretend to be in love with him during the course of the show. 

How could she even pretend to love someone like that!

She had to be convincing or she would lose her place. Her role would be given to a girl who had been there longer than her, and she would be resigned to the chorus. She had worked too hard to be in the background, she had been taught by Luke Skywalker himself, a man who’s only other student had been his nephew. 

Rey was nobody, yet one of Venice’s most famous opera stars had chosen to tutor her. That had to mean something.

Solo's comments, while rude, opened her eyes to the fact that the rest of the cast would be saying similar things. She was too young, too inexperienced, too obscure, of too low a birth. That just gave her even more of a reason to prove her worth. 

She had to prove her talent, one way or another.

She deserves to be here.

Her annoyance also came in the form of Solo’s other comment about knowing all about her just because of her intended. He had no idea.

The whole reason as to why she was marrying Hux in the first place was for Maz. Maz was an incredibly wealthy woman who had inherited well after the death of her brother, and while it would have been more financially responsible to have taken in a boy for a ward, she chose Rey. Because of that, Rey was officially her next of kin as Maz had no close male relatives, making her set to inherit. Rey knew that because of this she had to choose a husband well, and Hux was a successful businessman, so he could be trusted with the money not to spend it frivolously. She also knew that she was getting up there in years and would not be a desirable prospect for much longer, especially if she wanted to have an opera career, and Hux was more than willing to wait.

While she herself had no strong feelings towards him, she knew that she could be quite content being his wife. He had a bad reputation for his support of the French, but he had never acted cruel or said an unkind word to her. For that she was grateful.

Because of that, she took much offence to the comment made by some privileged celebrity who never had to prove himself once in his life.

She did. 

She was aware that Hux probably only wanted her because he knew of the fortune that she was set to inherit. She was comfortable in that mutual understanding, but she would not have Solo pretend he knows her.

He doesn’t.

Nobody does.

  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a warning for this chapter, one character makes some pretty disparaging comments about the Turks. there is a narrative reason for this, and i would also like to say that i am myself half Turkish, so I know where that line in the sand is and am keeping my distance.

Luke was right.

She was a brilliant talent. 

One of the most talented singers he had ever met. Her voice was clear and warm, making all those listening feel nothing but enchanted with her. Her ability to pick up music was like no other, she didn’t need to spend much time reading the music before she had a perfect hold of the music. She rarely had to refer to a piano to help her get comfortable with some of the more difficult turns and jumps.

Her talent was like no other.

Shame that he couldn’t stand her.

All rehearsals so far they had clashed, arguing about anything and everything. That's why they mostly kept away from each other when given the opportunity. It had appeared that the company itself had taken sides, with some supporting Rey's crusade against him, and the others taking Bens' side in thinking that she may have taken his comments too far.

It appeared to be that Rose, Poe, and Finn were the first people to jump to support Rey whereas people such as Mitaka, Phasma and Pryde tended to back him up in most arguments. It was as if they had all been split into the Montagues and capulets.

Although everyone else was less polarized, and could still hold a friendly conversation with each other.

When rehearsing though, it was as if all that hate had been forgotten. That day they were practicing the balcony scene, and as Rey serenaded Ben and sang words of love, for a moment he almost believed that she was desperately in love with him. 

“A rose by any other name…” she sang, as Ben pretended to hide from view. It was enchanting.

It was as if she really loved him. The way her eyes sparkled and her lips parted we’re almost enchanting. The pink of her lips looked like the petals of a rose in the garden of Eden, while the freckles on her face looked like constellations on a clear night. They were like the stars sailors use to navigate their way home. 

That illusion ended fairly quickly when she brought up her fiancé. Ben didn’t wish to go into all the reasons why he detested Hux, it was too personal and too petty. He worried that she would think even less of him if he explained.

There was only one other person who knew the reason and that was his uncle Luke, who at Ben's request, had kept quiet on the matter.

* * *

For the past three weeks, Rey had felt nothing but rage whenever she saw Ben Solo. She decided that her best course of action was to avoid him as much as she could. Most of her days were spent with Rose, who told her bits of gossip to catch her up on all the interpersonal relationships that had formed over the years. That way Rey knew what topics to avoid with certain people.

When they were rehearsing she put her all into the performance, making every declaration of love just as heartbreaking as Shakespeare (and Mr. Dameron) intended. So far she had managed to prove her ability; nobody questioned Luke’s decision once she began to sing her opening aria. 

The composition was a stroke of genius on Poe’s part, as it is every bit as sweet and innocent as Juliet, with soaring high notes, to soulful lows by the end. Rey loved performing it. Despite her hatred of Ben, she also enjoyed performing with him. 

The soulful tenor of his voice complemented perfectly with her lilting soprano. It was as if their voices were made for each other, destined to sing together. The passion in his voice equalled hers, but never did they overpower each other. She loved his voice.

Shame that she didn’t love its owner.

As they practiced the balcony scene, she tried to stay focused, but she couldn’t keep her eyes away from his eyes and his plush lips. She could understand how so many women could forget themselves just to be lost in his eyes for a moment, or feel his soft lips against forbidden parts of their bodies. He was very handsome indeed, and the way he was looking at her as they practiced, made her believe he loved her.

Rey was just glad that she was above such foolishness. Besides, she was already engaged to a very handsome man in his own right.

Hux was going to take her to see his mother that evening. She liked his mother, she was a very kind woman, and never looked down at Rey, despite her low birth. They always enjoyed talking about what books they were reading and Rey enjoyed hearing about her past. She was originally from Bergamo when she met her husband, Mr. Brendol Hux. He swept her off her feet in a whirlwind romance and was married within a month. 

Rey wasn’t so naive as to believe that they just loved each other. She was able to read between the lines and figure out that she had become pregnant and Mr. Hux was being honourable. 

“Oh Rey, you should come over for dinner this evening,” Rose offered as everyone got ready to leave, “Finn and Poe are having a gentlemen’s evening with some friends so I shall be quite lonely.”

“I’m afraid I can’t, Mr. Hux is taking me to see his mother this evening. In fact, he is probably waiting outside, so I should be prompt in leaving. I’m very sorry,” Rey said. As she spoke she noticed Mr. Solo tense up and pale. 

As they walked out through the foyer, Rey was greeted by the face of her intended. He was a tall man with red hair, making him stand out when in a crowd. He always wore finely tailored clothes and had a different cravat for every occasion. truthfully, when it came to his manner of dressing, he was rather ostentatious. 

“Rey,” he said as he went to kiss her hand. He glanced up and noticed Finn and Rose were with her. “I don’t think we’ve been introduced, I’m Rey's fiance, Mr. Hux.” 

“I’m Mr. Finn Toscano, and this is Mrs. Rose Tico,” he said as they shook hands.

“Well Finn,” Hux said, “I hope I won’t have to steal her back from you!” He joked, making Finn and Rose burst into laughter. While it was just a joking comment, Rey was surprised by just how funny they found it.

“Luckily for you Mr. Hux, Finn and I have been married for these last six months, so you have nothing to worry about. I introduce myself as Tico because that's my maiden name, and it is far simpler when one is on stage to continue with what you are known by.” They all continued talking and laughing for some time, both Finn and Rose falling for Hux’s charm until he saw Ben walking out of the theatre. They regarded each other for a moment rather tensely.

“Hux,” he said, glaring at him.

“Solo,” he responded with an equal degree of warmth.

“I trust you are well?”

“Naturally,” he said, “although some ships of mine were raided by pirates, causing quite a stir for my business. Turkish ones I believe. Thankfully they didn’t take anything of value, but of course, Turks never really know when something is valuable do they? Luckily the men on board weren’t taken as slaves. That’s quite a common occurrence I believe.” As he spoke Ben appeared as if he was simmering with rage. It was an odd reaction to have, being so outraged that Hux’s ships were boarded by pirates.

“I wouldn’t know,” he replied through gritted teeth and clenched fists.

“Really?” Hux said as Ben stormed past the door out into the piazza outside. Finn and Rose were left in stunned silence before they all left the opera house.

The walk from the opera house to Hux’s mother was rather pleasant. They passed by some small shops and would hear an occasional conversation between neighbours, while children ran and played. It was one of the things Rey enjoyed about living in Venice, everything was one big community, Maz said it was like living in a village on a grander scale. 

They didn’t talk much, instead preferring to walk in comfortable silence. That was the extent of most of their time spent together, comfortable silence, leaving Rey mostly alone with her thoughts.

Rey was still confused by Mr. Solo's reaction by the time that they were outside Hux’s home. His father was a successful businessman, and when he died everything was left to his son, including the care of his mother, who he loved dearly. Because of that, his home was one of the fancier ones in the city, with a small courtyard and its own water well. As they made their way upstairs Rey expected to be greeted by the warm face of Mrs. Hux but was instead met with an empty room.

“Armitage, where’s your mother?”

“Oh,” he said, his demeanour shifting as he came closer, sans waistcoat, “she is visiting a sick friend of hers, so I’m afraid it’s just us.” As he spoke his hand travelled up her arm and to her face. She felt her heart racing, but it wasn’t with excitement. As he moved to kiss her she turned her head so he ended up kissing her cheek instead.

“What’s wrong?” He asked as Rey tried to think of something to say.

“We aren’t married yet,” she settled with. It wasn’t the best reason, many promised couples lay together before marriage. She just didn’t have it in her to say that she didn’t want to, not with him. She didn’t want to offend him or make him angry. She knew she would have to at some point. 

“We _are_ promised,” he said, sounding annoyed.

“Yes, but if I were to be with child? We have only just started rehearsals and I don’t want to perform Juliet while rounding. Good day, Armitage” With that she left before he could say anything else. They had agreed to delay the wedding a bit so she could become more established, but she thought that also meant he would wait until marriage. It wasn’t beyond her that he initially agreed because he wanted the honour of saying he was married to a famous singer, but now it appeared he was becoming impatient.

As she ran through the streets, far away from that house, she felt a sudden sense of relief. She was relieved that she managed to getaway. Relieved that she didn’t have to spend the rest of the evening with him. Even if she decided to grin and bear laying with him, there would be an entire evening of the two of them sitting around in awkward silence.

She wandered around for a little while before going home, so she didn’t worry Maz as to why she was back so soon. 

* * *

The next day both Ben and Rey were in a foul mood. Luke had been trying to keep them from killing each other for most of the day. every conversation they had was angrier than the one before. The days before had just been filled with glares and veiled comments, but today they appeared as if they were barely able to contain their rage towards each other.

Ben was still furious at seeing Hux and being humiliated so. He was worried that Rey's bad mood and disdain towards him was because Hux told her his secret. After the conversation yesterday it would be natural to wonder. He supposed getting angry wouldn’t help his case but, she was being so blatantly rude that he couldn’t help but defend himself. 

They were giving as good as they got that day.

The rest of the cast that day were keeping as far away from both of them as possible. He saw that Rose was doing her best to calm Rey down, but that wasn’t working, and most people just avoided Ben. He knew he could be a rather intimidating person, with his height and tendency to dress in mostly black (‘ _you look like the grim reaper!’_ His father once commented), so when he was in a bad mood most people just avoided him. Rey, bold as ever, did not.

As they were practicing the scene where Romeo and Juliet both meet, the tension was through the roof. There was one note that Rey had to hold while Ben was singing. Towards the end of the note, she was struggling to hold it, not in an obvious way, but because of how close Ben was, he was able to notice.

“Try going for a mezzo forte, rather than a fortissimo on that note, that way you can save your breath and keep the effect,” he said, trying to help. The piece itself had very few places for breathing so he could understand how she was struggling.

“So you’re my teacher now?” She shot back.

He sighed, “no, I’m just trying to help you improve.” That seemed to only fuel her anger.

“Because I’m not experienced enough?”

“Oh not this again,” he bemoaned, “yes! Because over the last twenty years I figured out that when you're running out of breath don’t jump in at the forte. A mezzo is also acceptable! But you clearly don't have enough experience to figure that out yet!”

“Oh, you-”

“And I won’t apologize for what I said when we met! You are young and you are inexperienced, I have ten years more experience than you, some things you pick up over time.” 

“Oh, so you don’t apologize for anything else you said. You don’t feel any regret in calling my mother a whore or my parents drunkards?” She was shouting now and people were starting to stare at them.

“No! I know your mother well enough to know that she wouldn’t take some duke's orphan, she would take the abandoned daughter of a whore!” Ben could see people debating whether or not to intervene and break the two of them up.

“You ignorant bastard!” She screamed, “you know nothing!”

“Oh you’re choice in husband tells me everything.” That was when she saw the flash of fury behind her eyes.

“You don’t know me! You act like the man I marry tells you everything you need to know about me, but it doesn’t!” And with that, Luke and Rose pulled them away from each other. Rey looked as if she was going to claw his eyes out and Ben was tempted to pick her up and throw her into the nearest canal.

“If I wasn’t so afraid of your mother I would slap you right now,” Luke said after he had once again been pulled aside. He could see Rose trying to speak to Rey without getting her head bitten off.

“What are you going to do? Send me home like an insolent child?” He snapped.

* * *

“Oh, Ben you finally decided to visit,” Leia said as he walked through the door of her drawing-room. He was still furious about what happened at the theatre. He only came to see his mother because he knew that he didn’t want to be pestered about it by Luke and his mother. He might as well get it over with.

Her drawing-room was always well kept, with various artworks decorating the walls, and a grand piano that nobody ever played, tucked away in the corner.

His mother was sitting by the window, overlooking the grand canal, reading a book. As he went over to give her a kiss he noticed some movement out of the corner of his eye.

“Hello, Ben.” Said a deep, gravely voice. He turned and saw the figure of an old man dressed in finery that looked alien on the wearer. A small smile graced the features of the ever roguish man in front of him, as he approached Ben.

“Hello, Baba.”

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading. 
> 
> i'm trying to learn so any constructive criticism/historical fact checking would be much appreciated.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and we have chapter three. im trying to get as many chapters of this out before i start university, because i dont really know what to expect for the workload and i dont want to over burden myself.

He hadn’t seen his father in a year and a half. The last time they stood in front of each other it ended up with the both of them arguing in Turkish so his mother couldn’t hear what was being said.

After leaving home he barely saw his father, although that wasn’t too different from his childhood. His father was gone most of the time with his transportation business, although that was a horrible euphemism for smuggling. He claimed to have stopped smuggling after Ben was born, although nobody would have been surprised if he got bored of staying within the law. 

That was the problem with his father. He got bored easily and could never stay in one place for very long. For himself it was an excellent lifestyle, as long as you don’t factor in the fact that he had a family at home, waiting for him, hoping he wouldn’t become lost at sea. 

His mother wasn’t much better, she was always at the opera house, singing. Perhaps that’s why he became a singer, to feel a connection with one of his parents, and opera was the most accessible. Despite his mother’s absence, he found it harder to resent her. Maybe it was because they shared a profession, or maybe because he wanted to have a cordial relationship with at least one parent. 

Either way, as he stood in the drawing-room he felt a wave of rage simmer over him. He was in a bad mood already and he didn’t need his father waltzing in and making it worse.

“He came back from his trip to Constantinople two weeks ago,” his mother said, trying to defuse the tension.

“And you were waiting for me to call so I could find out myself?” He knew that his uncle was behind this. His mother and uncle would always visit each other every Sunday after church, so it was no surprise if he did, and failed to mention it.

“Well I had hoped you would visit a little sooner,” she said.

“How have you been?” His father asked, trying to start a conversation.

“Why do you care?” Ben snapped.

“Luke told me that you have been arguing with the new soprano,” she spoke as if he were a small child who had done something wrong. It was similar to when he was a child and his mother would inform his father about what he had been doing, while he was in the room.

“Does most of your knowledge about my life stem from Luke?” 

“Yes, seeing as you never visit to tell me yourself,” Ben rolled his eyes, “and Luke told me that you were the one who started it.” Now he really felt like a child. Sometimes he wondered if his mother forgot that he was thirty-one.

“Can I give you some advice?” His father said, stepping forward.

“No.”

_“Well I’m giving it anyway, so shut up,”_ he said in Turkish, before switching back to Italian so Leia could hear, “women don’t usually like being told that their parents are drunks and they're too young to sing anything beyond a nursery rhyme.”

“She hasn’t exactly been a paragon of good virtue either,” he couldn’t believe that he was having this conversation with his father, _“she called me a bastard today just for trying to help her!”_ He didn’t want his mother hearing that last part.

_“I know she’s Maz’s kid, so she would only say something like that if she was really upset. And I also know Maz well enough that she wouldn’t raise her child to take any of your shit.”_

“And what do you think I should do?” While he sounded sarcastic, there was genuine hope for some fatherly advice. Though he would never openly admit that.

“Apologize, I do it all the time with your mother.”

“Hayır,” Ben said, “she won’t accept it and I’m not doing it.”

“Eşek pezevenk,” his father responded, causing an outraged cry from his mother. After over thirty years, you do pick up the odd word, and with that family, insults are the most common.

“Despite the vulgarity,” his mother said pointedly, “your father's right. Apologize, try and make your life a little easier, and hope she will forgive you.”

Ben grumbled, bemoaning having to take his father's advice, but also wanting to make his life at the opera a little easier.

He had been cruel that first day, of course, she would take his offer of help personally. He could see that now. She might have accepted his advice had he been less presumptive about her that first day. 

He didn’t want to admit it, but he was wrong.

* * *

Rey was furious when she got home. She didn’t even bother saying hello to Maz, instead preferring to run to her room and slam the door. Everything the last two days had been overwhelming, first the prospect of being alone with Hux, and then Solo rubbing salt into a wound. 

She just wanted to cry. Everything was terrible and it didn’t look like it would change anytime soon. She was going to marry a man she didn’t love, which would be manageable if it weren’t for her dreams of being the lead soprano dashed by having to work with a man she can’t stand. 

She supposed that she should be thankful. When Maz found her as a small child in some unknown village in the south, she was starving and alone. Her parents had left her to go drinking. She never saw them after that. For a while, she roamed the streets begging. People helped where they could, but they didn’t have much in the way of money, and nobody was able to provide for a child that wasn’t their own. She had to scavenge for food most days.

Maz had been travelling through after attending her brother's funeral when she saw Rey by the side of the road. She stopped the carriage and approached her. After a very brief conversation, she decided to take Rey into her care and raise her as her own. From there she had been shown nothing but love and attention. Maz was a good woman and always made her feel loved and cared for.

As she softly wept, she heard a knock on her door.

“Sweetheart, can I come in?” 

Rey made a noise that sounded like a yes, and heard the sound of a door opening.

As Maz came to join her on her bed, she wrapped an arm around Rey as she buried her face in her shoulder. Maz was a small woman, but would still sometimes hold Rey like a small child when she was sad. Rey had many memories of falling asleep in her lap as a child, and would sometimes still lie like that as an adult, of course when nobody was around.

“What’s wrong dear?” She asked.

“It’s the lead tenor! He’s cruel, and selfish, and wishes to make my life a living hell!” Rey was withholding some information. There was no way she was telling her mother about what happened the day before.

“Who is this tenor, who makes you so miserable?” Rey looked up, she thought she had mentioned him before.

“Ben Solo…”

“Ah yes I remember,” she said, “at my age, you forget things easily. Ben Solo… Han’s son. Moody boy he was, barely cracked a smile, forgot all colours exist apart from black.” Rey began giggling, “I’ve got the right person?” She nodded in agreement.

“Now one thing I know about Solo men is that they are stubborn asses, and hate admitting when they're wrong. But they also feel things very deeply, and I’m sure that if he saw you this upset, he would regret it.”

“He wouldn’t, he told me he doesn’t regret saying I’m too young and I know that he doesn’t regret calling my parents drunks, and he thinks he knows everything about me because I’m engaged to Hux,” at that, Maz went quiet for a moment.

“He has his own reasons for disliking Hux,” she mumbled, “but at the end of the day, he was wrong to say that about you. Although if he ever apologizes to you, knowing him it may be a while, I think that you should also apologize for what you’ve said to him.” Rey opened her mouth to protest, but was cut off, “I know you sweetheart, and I know that that boy didn’t get off lightly.”

As Rey sat there and hugged her mother she felt a sense of guilt in the back of her mind about some of the things she said to him. Maybe she overreacted to his offer to help, maybe she was focusing her bad mood on him that day. She was still mad, but she did understand where Maz was coming from.

“I love you, my dear.”

“I love you too.”

* * *

Everybody was on edge when Rey and Ben walked into the theatre. Nobody was sure what to say or do. They clearly didn’t want to accidentally set anything off.

As Ben's eyes met Rey’s eyes, he felt a sudden feeling of fear come over him. How would he walk over to her and say he wanted to speak privately? She would probably think he was going to murder her (although throwing her into the canal was still an option if all went to hell).

Rehearsals were tense, thankfully they didn’t have to interact much that day, although he had a sneaking suspicion that was a conscious choice on Luke’s part. While he pretended to mourn the loss of Mercutio, he couldn’t stop thinking about Rey. 

He hoped that she would accept his apology, but he did doubt it.

As the day ended, he finally plucked up the courage to speak to her.

“Miss Kanata, may I speak to you in private.” The whole company went silent, pausing for a moment before he looked back at them and they continued getting ready to leave as if nothing was out of the ordinary.

She sucked in a breath and closed her eyes before saying, “yes you may.”

As they walked over to the other end of the room, out of earshot but still visible so as not to be improper, Ben tried to think about what he would say. He spent the whole day thinking about Rey, but not once did he plan out what he would say to her.

He hated to admit it, but sometimes he really was Han Solo's son.

“What do you want to speak to me about?” She asked, forcing her voice to remain proper and not dripping with disdain.

“I wanted to apologize, for some of the harsh words I said yesterday,” he gritted out, “they were unkind.”

She stared at him in disbelief for a moment, wide-eyed and lips parted as if she was trying to say something, but the words were not coming out. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see people trying to appear as if they weren’t watching what was going on.

“I accept,” she said in an icy tone, once she had schooled her face, “I don’t forgive you for anything else, but I do accept your apology.”

“I expect nothing less,” he responded in an equally cold manner, “and I hope you understand that I am not going back on my beliefs, but I am sorry for any upset caused.” He wasn’t quite ready to say that he was wrong, but this was the closest that he would get. 

“So we have reached an understanding.”

“Yes, we have.”

“Good day Mr. Solo.”

“Good day Miss Kanata.”

And with that, they both left, after one of the most uncomfortable conversations of his life. The moment he reached his home, he poured himself a stiff drink.

His mind kept running over the scene again as he apologized, and the look of shock in her eyes. It was the first time when they weren’t performing that she didn’t look at him with complete disdain. For some unknown reason, he kept replaying that in his mind, the way her lips parted ever so slightly and how her eyes widened.

As he kept drinking his mind began to wander, placing her reaction into different scenarios, each of them gradually growing less innocent. Once he reached the last imagination he realized just how explicit it was, and decided that he had drunk enough for that evening.

Despite his decision to cut his drinking short, he still kept thinking about Rey. He couldn’t stop picturing the way her eyes sparkled when they rehearsed, or the soft swell of her breasts that rose and fell with every intake of breath. All he could see in his mind was her lips parting in a silent gasp, while his hand moved under her skirt…

‘ _No_ ,’ he thought, ‘ _I cannot think such things. That way madness lies.’_

But still, he imagined how it would feel to touch her, wet and warm, only for him. He pictured the silent gasp she would make as his finger sank inside of her, and how he would feel her walls tighten around him as he curled his fingers inside her.

Full of scorpions was his mind, unable to pull his thoughts from her, but unwilling to find something to distract himself with. It was as if he enjoyed the torture.

* * *

he found himself once again distracted by Rey. As it turns out when she is not openly hostile towards him she is rather lovely. She was still very cold towards him, but less so than before. Now she refused to talk to him at all.

Ben could manage it, he didn’t find himself overly drawn in by her, and still had an incredible dislike of her. Despite that, every night he found his mind wandering to forbidden places, where only he and she occupy. At first, he thought that his desire was out of his hatred for Hux; he assumed that he wanted to tarnish something of his. As the fantasied continued, he soon came to realize a painful truth.

Lust.

Lust was driving him mad and he had directed it towards a woman he vehemently disliked.

That had to be it.

As they rehearsed the wedding scene he found himself trying to avoid her as much as possible, firstly to avoid an argument, and secondly to prevent him from saying something that would alert anyone to his feelings of lust.

He would visit one of the brothels, or try and meet a lady at Florien, but he thought it would appear to be a bit sad to see a man go to either of those locations alone. Alas, Ben was a man filled with lust and no outlet. 

It appeared that more people had realized something was wrong because they were avoiding him at all costs.

* * *

In the weeks after he apologized, Rey had found herself enjoying her time at the opera more. She didn’t have to worry about arguing with him every five minutes because they rarely spoke to each other, beyond what was absolutely necessary. 

She was able to get to know the people around her more. Finn and Poe were the best of friends, taking the first Saturday of the month to have a gentleman’s evening, Mitaka was a brilliant bass but afraid of his own shadow, Jessica Pava was half in love with Mitaka but he was too dense to realize, and Rose enjoyed watching it all unfold.

Rey had noticed that Ben's demeanour had shifted somewhat. When they were practicing and he had to hold her close he would appear uncomfortable and not hold her as closely as Luke had instructed.

“Ben you can’t keep her that far from you,” Luke had pointed out as they practiced the wedding scene.

After grumbling something Rey couldn’t understand, he pulled her in. For a moment her heart jumped (with the shock of the sudden movement, obviously) and she found herself pressed against his chest as she felt his heart race.

As he sang words of love she thought that he was restraining himself as if he couldn’t even pretend he loved her. She knew that he didn’t like her, but this cool hatred was something else.

She found herself disappointed in a way. She wasn’t sure why, but she missed the way his eyes would light up when they fought, or the way, after an argument, his breathing would suddenly grow heavy as he looked at her with intensity. She missed the times during practice when they would be serenading each other, but feel a boiling passion deep within. She almost enjoyed getting a rise out of him, egging him, and taunting him, and vice versa.

She missed fighting with him. 

She hated the cold glares and indifference he showed towards her.

The indifference was killing her.  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> translations (some are weird)  
> Hayır: no
> 
> Eşek pezevenk: literally means donkey pimp and i know that sounds weird but as my dad explained it, in a lot of Islamic cultures being a pimp is considered the lowest of the low (lower than a prostitute) so by calling you a donkey pimp you are essentially saying that you are so low you can only pimp out donkeys. i know its weird but it is one of the most common ones i hear in my family and it really doesn't translate well.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here we come with chapter 4!!! as you can see i caved and upped the rating, even though i knew that there were going to be some smutty chapters later on, i decided to be conservative and rate it an M.

_There’s sweat dripping down his back as he thrusts into her. They’re growing more erratic the closer he gets, while Rey moans and digs her heel into his back. She lifts her hips for him to give him a better angle for him to go deeper while rubbing her clit._

_“Ben!” She cries as they come together. He keeps thrusting until he is fully spent before he rolls off of her and they lie together. He kisses her and holds her close._

_It is perfect._

Ben woke up with a start. He could see light peeking through the curtains and hear the gondoliers talking as they passed each other, outside his window in the canal below. 

He’d been having more of those dreams. Every night they seemed to be getting more vivid, all involving him and Rey. The night before he had his head between her legs as he made her fall apart with his mouth. The one before that her head was between his legs, taking him in her mouth.

It was getting ridiculous, this obsession with her. He almost began to dread having to go to the opera and see her after the nights they spent together in his head. He was almost embarrassed by what his mind would come up with, involving him and this unsuspecting girl who was blissfully unaware of the whole situation.

Today however he had been dreading.

Today was the day when they would actually have to kiss. when they were still learning the blocking he only had to bring his face near hers, or just hug her during the more passionate scenes, but today he had to kiss her.

God truly was cruel.

He was mostly worried about going too far and finding a rather unwelcome guest deciding to join. That would probably terrify the girl and he would find himself as the joke of Venice.

‘Ben Solo, the cad who became erect just by giving a girl a quick peck on the lips.’

As he got out of bed, he got dressed, wholly unready to face the day.

* * *

Rey was thrilled to begin the dress rehearsals. She had seen what her costume would look like and was as eager as a child to try it on. It reminded her of playing dress-up with some of Maz’s old dresses when she would pretend to be a princess. 

Her main dress was beautiful, made of pale cream coloured silk, with red accents embroidered in. She could have spent hours just staring at the craftsmanship. She never did get the hang of embroidery, try as she might. Instead, she spent most of her time reading, singing and wandering around the city, trying to find new streets that were previously hidden from her.

“I had that reaction, the first time I saw my costume,” a deep voice said behind her. She turned around and saw Ben Solo was standing behind her, “after a while you grow accustomed to the finery, but it does help to appreciate the work gone into the clothes you will wear every night for the next month.” This was the most he had spoken to her since his apology two weeks ago. 

She wasn’t quite sure of what to say to him. After weeks of silence, a friendly conversation left her entirely unprepared.

“We will be kissing later,” she settled with. She wasn't sure why she said it, but she did notice the slight blush creep upon his face as he turned away and cleared his throat. She had to stop herself from smiling at the sight.

“Ah, yes,” he said, “I hope that you understand that in the moment it can be rather… convincing.” He was blushing more, doing a terrible job at hiding it, “I just want you to know that it does not reflect my true feelings, so do not worry yourself thinking that I am in love with you. I am aware that you love Mr. Hux and I am not trying to affect that in any way.” At the mention of Hux, her heart sank. She didn’t love him, and she was aware that when Ben kissed her it was just that, a kiss. It was for show, nothing more.

“I am aware Mr. Solo, thank you,” she said, a surprising amount of warmth creeping into her voice. He bowed his head and left, leaving her to admire her costume some more. Near the dress were some flowers that would be put in her hair, roses and periwinkles. 

When he warned her about the convincingness of the kiss she was aware that he was referring to Miss Natal who, during their first performance, was convinced that he was in love with her because he was so passionate. She apparently did her best to avoid him, lest a scandal befalls her, tarnishing her image.

Rose had told her that story the day before. They had both giggled about it and Rey had wondered how a kiss could make one woman think a man deeply in love with her.

It was kind of Ben, to warn her, she was sure that he didn’t want a woman he hated, convincing herself that he loved her. He also probably was nervous that she would mention something to Hux and he would immediately demand satisfaction.

Hux.

The very man she did not want to kiss. He had done it before, but each time she found that she didn’t enjoy it. It was mechanical, stale and uninteresting. 

For some reason, the thought of kissing Ben Solo sent more of a thrill through her than the idea of kissing Hux. She knew she didn’t love Hux, but she supposed that she could love their children. That would be enough. Maz has never married but was perfectly happy raising Rey, so why wouldn’t she be happy, raising her own children.

As long as she had something to love, she could be content.

The prospect of marrying Hux filled her with dread. There were witnesses to the engagement, so they were as good as married. There was no way to call it off now, even if they both wanted.

“Rey!” Rose called, drawing her away from her train of thought, “Mr. Solo told me I could find you here. This Saturday I was hoping that you would come for dinner. Finn will be with Poe that evening so it’ll be just us girls. What do you say?”

“Oh, of course!” Rey was thrilled, she had assumed that when she turned down the invitation the first time that Rose wouldn’t offer it again. She was glad that she genuinely wanted to see her, outside of the opera house, “I’ll tell my mother and it’s a date.”

“Oh, wonderful! I’d say be there around five so we have some time to chat beforehand.” As the day was set, they both walked back into the theatre to get ready for their first dress rehearsal of the show.

As the dress rehearsal began, Rey suddenly felt nervous at the prospect of kissing Ben. As the scene drew nearer and nearer, she found herself beginning to dread it, and she couldn’t figure out why. She knew she would have to kiss him at some point.

As the scene where Romeo and Juliet meet began, Rey couldn’t focus. Her head was swimming and it was as if she had drunk a gallon of wine. 

Then their eyes met, and Finn began to play the love theme, with its swings and beautifully sad lilt, foreshadowing the tragedy to come. As Finn played, her heart began to race, she knew what she had to do. Walk towards him, dance with him, appear enchanted, sing her love for him, kiss him. It was easy enough.

As Bens' haunting tenor began to serenade her, she found her fear washing away and became lost in the moment.

“If I profane with my unworthiest hand…” he sang and she found herself enchanted.

“And palm to palm is holy palmers kiss,” as she flirted, she saw his eyes light up. Their hands met in the space between them, holding so tightly. Her sweet melody blended with his deep passion.

“Then move not while my prayer's effect I take,” he bent down to kiss her. His lips lightly brushed hers and he stopped. She thought that he wasn’t going to at first when she opened her eyes to look at him and see if he was actually going to. But then he kissed her fully.

For a moment she was lost in the kiss, the sensation of his soft lips against hers, the way his tongue swiped the seam of her lips, and how she granted access, allowing him to kiss her more deeply, and more passionately than she ever thought possible.

And yet, it was over too soon. As he pulled away, her lips felt cold, and she felt a stirring within her that was unfamiliar.

When he sang after that, it was as if everything was strikingly real. It was as if every declaration of love he sang of reflected his true feelings. 

It was silly, but Rey almost wished that it were true. She wished that as Romeo romanced Juliet, Ben Solo romanced Rey.

After that kiss, everything was more passionate, more real. It was as if the world had shifted somehow, with Rey and Ben at the centre of it all. 

For the rest of the scene, they held onto each other in some form, whether that be holding a hand or caressing a face. They hadn’t done that before in rehearsals. They held hands as instructed, but never before did Ben stroke his thumb against the back of her hand as he held it. And never before did Rey feel an urge to touch his face. As she caressed his cheek he would occasionally break and kiss her palm while she sang, or lean into the touch. 

They had another kiss in that scene, and that one was different from the first. This time they held each other more closely and kissed each other more passionately. She ran her fingers through his soft hair while he held her close.

Once the scene ended, Rey felt a sudden wave of sadness come over her. That was undeniably the most romantic moment of her life, but none of it was real. Ben was being serious when he said how realistic it could be. She had never been kissed like that.

She felt like a fool, falling for a kiss that meant nothing.

She had to remind herself that she hated him, that he hardly spoke to her and that she was getting caught up in something that wasn’t real.

But even then, she looked forward to their next kiss, their next caress, their next song of love. She found herself looking forward to a dream that would not ever be real.

Not for her.

* * *

Rose was stunned. 

By the end of their first dress rehearsal, usually, people were having costumes altered slightly to accommodate blocking and to allow better movement on stage. Rarely did two performers do such a fantastic performance that she found herself in shock. 

She knew full well how they hated each other, how Rey did all she could to avoid him. But the way she performed it was as if she really was in love with him.

She had to admire their performance, it really was show-stopping, and their voices worked beautifully together. It really was a duo made in heaven. 

It was a shame they didn’t like each other.

* * *

Ben felt as if he had been crushed by some great weight falling out of the sky. He had never kissed another performer, or woman the way he kissed Rey.

With Bazine it had been mechanical, you kiss, you sing, you perform. It was a formula they had stuck to, once she had realized that he was just a convincing performer and not in love with her. With other women that he had in the past there was more passion there, naturally, but never quite the tenderness there was in that moment.

No, kissing Rey was something new altogether. The softness of her lips, the way she sighed ever so slightly, the way she returned the kiss with such passion. He knew now that he felt no lust towards her. She was too precious, too beautiful.

He wanted to commit to memory the dazed look in her eyes when he pulled away as if she was just as affected by the kiss as him. He wanted to remember the slightly lost look on her face before the music picked back up and he began to sing again.

He knew now that his feelings for her were far more tender and affectionate that he would let himself admit in the beginning. He found himself looking forward to kissing her again and again, night in night out. However, he was dreading the idea of having to pretend that every kiss he gave her meant nothing to him. He dreaded having to see her and be faced with only indifference in her eyes when they weren’t performing.

It was the most beautiful agony. To dream of a woman who could never see beyond the monster, you made yourself out to be the day you met. Yes, to her he would always be a cruel and callous man, but to him, she was the loveliest creature he had ever set eyes on.

He had begun to notice other things about her, aside from her appearance. The way she threw her head back when she laughed, the way she scrunched her nose slightly when she was focusing on something, how, when she thinks nobody is looking, she will grab the banister and jump over the last step when going down the stairs.

He saw everything.

It was killing him.

* * *

Rey was beside herself. By the time rehearsals ended, she couldn’t stop thinking about every kiss they shared and every kiss they were going to share. 

She could still feel his lips on hers as she made her way home. She was becoming overwhelmed with desire. She couldn’t think straight; all she could think of were his lips, the way he gripped her waist, how his hair felt between her fingers.

The stirring she felt earlier was still there, lingering like his kiss. Thankfully Maz had gone out when Rey arrived, so she was able to run straight to her room, without interruption.

She immediately closed the door and lay down on her bed, lifting her dress and moving her hand under her drawers. She was already wet when she dipped a finger into her entrance. She gathered the moisture and began to gently rub the pearl at the top of her thighs.

She began to gasp as she sped up her movements, bringing herself closer and closer to the edge, enjoying the gliding feeling of her fingers over her clit, before finally coming.

As her breathing settled down, she felt her senses returning to her, and she was left with only shame. She had just touched herself to thoughts of Ben Solo, a man who hated her and had told her, on no uncertain terms, that the kisses were not real.

But still, she imagined what it would be like to kiss him for real. With no audience, and no role to play. Just Ben and Rey, together, alone.

When Maz did return home it was well into the evening and Rey was about to have dinner.

“Hello dear,” she said, going over to kiss her on the head.

“Hello, mother.”

“Just so you know, Mr. and Mrs. Solo are going to be coming to dinner tomorrow. I ran into Mr. Solo at the Rialto and I told him that it’s been too long since he and Leia visited.” Rey thought that she was going to faint.

The man who she had just touched herself thinking abouts' parents were going to have dinner with them tomorrow evening. How could she look at his mother after imagining herself writhing beneath him? How could she look at his father and know that she had just spent a day kissing his son?

It was going to be absolute hell.

“I’m sure you’ll like them very much,” Maz said “far more than their son at any rate.” Now Rey highly doubted _that._

She should probably tell him, but she didn’t know how he'd react. Will he be uncomfortable, will he be angry, she had no idea. All she knew was that she couldn’t have been meeting the Solos at a worse time.

She’d rather swim to the mainland.

* * *

The second day of dress rehearsals would have been perfect, had it not been for the cloud hanging over Rey.

Ben kisses with more passion and tenderness that she ever thought possible, and every moment she cherished. And yet as they broke away she was reminded of the humiliation that she was to be faced with later that day: his parents.

She told him about the visit, and he turned pale, muttering something about his father, before turning away and leaving. Rose on the other hand just laughed and wished her luck.

She didn’t know what to expect. In all honesty, she expected people of a similar disposition to Ben. She certainly didn’t expect the two polar opposites of their son.

When she walked through the door she found they had already arrived and were sipping coffee with her mother.

“Oh Rey darling,” Maz said, “this is Mr. Han Solo and Mrs. Leia Solo.” 

“Ah, Rey,” Leia said once she sat down, “I have heard much about you from my brother. He says you are quite the talent.” Rey began to blush from the praise, not sure of what to make of it or how to respond.

“I only do my best,” is what she settled with.

“Well it’s certainly left an impression on our son,” Han interjected. Rey was at a loss for words, “he says that you are one of the most talented singers he has ever met.” Rey's blush only grew deeper and his praise. She didn’t think that he thought of her in any positive way. This praise was so unexpected she sat there looking stunned. Thankfully Leia picked up on the complete and utter shock and moved the conversation along to Han's adventures.

She learned a great deal about the Solo family that day.

Leia had been performing one evening when she caught the eye of a roguish man sitting in the front row. He was dressed in a sailor's uniform, clearly unaware of what a formal event the opera was, and she found that she couldn’t take her eyes off of him. He kept coming and sitting in the front row for two more days. On the fourth day, she ventured down to the shipyard where she ran into the same rogue from the opera. There she was introduced to the Turkish smuggler and charmer who would soon become her husband.

It was a sweet story, but something was nagging Rey at the back of her mind. She was surprised that Han was Turkish, his accent was almost nonexistent and his son certainly didn’t look Turkish…

Then she realized what was bothering her; not long after meeting, Hux had made some disparaging comments about the Turks in front of Ben.

She suddenly felt a sudden wave of guilt wash over her. How cruel Hux was! Rey had only been confused by his mirth at the time, but now it all made sense. That was why Ben had been so presumptuous about her that first day because he assumed that she would hate him the way Hux did. 

She didn’t. She knew what it was to be an outsider. At her girl's school, she was shunned by the others because of her low born status. Some of them would push her down the stairs and make her life a living hell. They would call her mother a whore and her father a drunk. It stung.

That was why she hated Ben Solo so much. His comments brought her back to a painful past, the same way Hux had brought back his.

That evening once the solos were gone and Rey was in her nightgown, she decided to sit next to her mother in her bed. She would do this sometimes when she wanted to chat, or simply have a hug, and Maz was always happy to oblige.

“So what did you think of the Solos?” Maz said as Rey rested her head on her shoulder like a small child.

“Not what I expected,” she said, “Mr. Solo was a funny man, and Mrs. Solo was so kind.”

“Nothing like their son,” that made Rey laugh, “and speaking of their son I meant to ask you, who’s the better kisser, Solo or Hux?”

“Mother!” Rey said shocked at what her mother had asked her. 

“Darling, you are going to be married, there’s no point in being all scandalized,” Rey began to blush, “are you going to tell me?”

“Yes,” Rey said, “I know I shouldn’t say this, but Ben Solo is far better than Armitage.” She was embarrassed to admit it but it was the truth.

“Ah, well that boy does have a reputation,” Maz said cheekily, “just make sure you don’t go losing your head over him. I know Solos and I know their propensity to charm women.”

It was a stern warning, despite the slight jest. She knew that she had to be careful, she had to keep an eye on her feelings.

Kissing Ben sent a thrill through her like no other.

She would be careful, she told herself, she wouldn’t let her feelings run away with her. 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you enjoyed, and any constructive criticism/historical accuracy checks would be much appreciated.


	5. Chapter 5

It was Saturday; the last day of rehearsals before opening night on Monday. All the dress rehearsals had gone smoothly, and everyone was feeling confident. Everyone except Rey that is. This was her first-ever opening night, and she had no idea what to expect. She knew that the crowd could get a bit rowdy at plays, but opera was an entirely different entity. She hoped that there wouldn’t be people running onto the stage the way she had seen once when going to see a performance of a Goldoni play.

Rose was trying to calm her nerves, saying that even if they are a bit rowdy in the beginning, the moment they hear her sing they will be enchanted. It was kind of her to say, but she was still nervous all the same. 

She was also a little embarrassed; Maz was coming to see her and she wasn’t too enthusiastic to have her mother see her kiss a man as passionately as they did. When they were rehearsing the other performers were mostly focused on what they were doing, but with an entire audience, they would watch their every move. 

It also didn’t help her nerves that Ben had been avoiding her even more than usual. She told him that she knew that his father was Turkish and he became tense and kept his distance. She wanted to apologize for what Hux had said, but he was being so rude to her that she didn’t want to.

He was avoiding eye contact with her, and not even speaking to her. It was so strange, especially after the improvement they were making, with him occasionally saying something other than “good morning,” and “good evening,” to her. Today even that went unsaid.

But when they performed, it was as if all that ice had melted away and there was only love between them. Rey was almost finding the two opposites of his behaviour to be overwhelming. 

How could one man be so cold one minute and be so loving and tender the next?

To make it all worse, she still felt her heart race when they kissed, and a flame of desire rip through her body when he held her close enough to feel his heartbeat, and hope he didn’t notice how hers accelerated.

Every moment was agonizing.

Why couldn’t he be like his parents? Why must he be so cold? Why couldn’t he be like his father, joking and outgoing? Why couldn’t he be like his mother, warm and of a far more friendly disposition?

Rose could tell something was wrong, but when she asked, Rey brushed it off saying that it was her woman’s sickness troubling her. She knew it was a lie, but she didn’t want to pester her.

Rey's only form of rest bite was the knowledge that she would be spending an evening with Rose, so she could forget her troubles.

* * *

Ben was absolutely humiliated. It was bad enough that his infatuation with the girl had grown beyond his control, but now she had met his parents. 

If she didn’t know about his secret through Hux, she definitely did now; she said so herself! He didn’t want to face her. She saw how Hux’s comments had wounded him and he didn’t want her to think of him as being so sensitive. He couldn’t help it though.

The moment his schoolmates found out that his father was a Turkish sailor, every day was a living hell. Hux made life particularly hellish. He would get into fights defending his parent's honour when some of the comments got particularly cruel. He had been shunned by everyone because of something he couldn’t help.

Eventually, his social isolation only made him resent his father further. He would get into fights defending his honour, and for what? He was never around, always on that blasted ship of his, the Falcon, running off to another corner of the world, leaving his wife and son behind.

His celebrity status helped end his being shunned from society, but it never healed the old wounds left behind. He made his uncle swear to silence on the matter of his heritage. 

He didn’t want to appear weak in front of Rey. He didn’t want her to ask about his family, and he didn’t want either her pity or disgust. No, it was better to avoid her altogether.

But when they were on stage, it was a different case entirely; the world burned bright and they were the only two people that mattered. As he kissed her soft lips, all his fears left him, and all that mattered was Rey.

But when they weren’t on stage he had to keep his distance, lest she finds out his feelings for her and she hates him even more.

“Ben,” Mitaka called, pulling Ben away from his train of thought, “I need to speak to you privately.” The man sounded terrified.

“What about?” Ben asked as Mitaka led him away into a private room, away from potential eavesdroppers.

“I am going to begin courting Miss Pava, but I need a friend who can help me. I know you have a way with women and I wish for you to join me in visiting her this evening. Give me advice,” Mitaka said. Ben had known Mitaka for years and had known about his and Jessica’s barely contained attraction towards each other. He was happy that he was finally acting on his feelings, and would be happy to assist his friend. Knowing Jessica, she would have probably also brought a friend along to assist her.

“I would be glad to,” he responded, “you're a good friend and I know how deep your affection for her goes.” At that, they shook hands and headed back to the stage to receive Luke's notes before smoothing out any wrinkles in the show.

* * *

That evening, once Rey had changed into her evening-wear, she made her way over to Rose's home. She decided to leave early because she wasn’t entirely sure where it was and she didn’t want to end up being late due to having gotten lost. As she passed through the winding streets as the sun began to go down, the golden light began to reflect on the water most beautifully. The reflection made it hard to see, granted, but it also lit up the street most wonderfully.

She had written down the street, and the description of Rose's home, flowers outside the window and an arched wooden door that look as old as the city itself. she was becoming worried that she was going to get lost when she saw Finn and Poe emerge from one of the buildings.

“Miss Kanata!” Poe exclaimed when he saw her, “didn’t expect to see you here.”

“Rose invited me over, seeing as you boys will be out most of the evening.”

“Ah, yes we will,” there was a slight glint in Poe’s eyes, “well I hope you enjoy your evening, and we best be off,” Poe said as they began to leave. Rey said goodbye and went inside, thankfully Finn had left the door open for her.

“Oh Rey you're here,” Rose said as she walked into the drawing-room, “ I was worried that my instructions were too vague and that you might get lost.”

“Oh they were perfect,” Rey said sitting down on the couch. Rose said that dinner was nearly ready and they would have enough time to chat briefly. As Rose spoke, Rey began to notice several portraits hanging on the wall; Finn and Rose, a couple that she assumed were Rose's parents and a woman that Rey couldn’t quite identify.

“Who’s that woman, in the portrait?” Rey asked. As she spoke she noticed a shift in Rose's demeanour.

“That,” she said after a pause, “is my sister Paige. She died not long after that portrait was painted. Pox. It was going around a few years ago, and it took my sister with it.” Rey could see that Rose was still deeply affected by her loss and Rey felt incredibly guilty about bringing it up.

It must have shown on her face because after a moment Rose said, “don’t feel guilty. You didn’t know. We were just very close, so it still hurts sometimes.” After that, they moved the conversation along. Rose poured some wine for Rey and they were having such a wonderful time that they almost didn’t notice when dinner was ready.

* * *

Luckily for Ben, he wasn’t totally alone while Mitaka and Jessica talked, she had some family and friends over, so he was able to keep himself occupied while his friend was off in his own little world.

“Mr. Solo,” said Jessica’s friend, “I hear that you are as of yet, unmarried.” He knew where this was going.

“You would be correct,” he said, feeling slightly uncomfortable with the direction the conversation was taking. It felt like talking to his mother, only this woman wouldn’t be listing all the eligible young ladies in Europe for him to marry.

“Now I find that hard to believe,” said Mrs. Pava, “a young handsome man such as yourself. Not to mention that fortune of yours.” It must be some universally acknowledged truth that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife, “what woman wouldn’t want you?”

‘ _Only the one that mattered_ ’ the thought mournfully.

“Plenty,” he said instead as he finished his wine. Briefly, he glanced over at Mitaka, only to see that they were both blissfully unaware of everyone else.

“Is there nobody who’s taken your fancy?” Jessica’s friend asked. He couldn’t remember her name.

He wasn’t sure how to answer. He could lie and say that there wasn’t anybody he lay awake at night thinking about.

“Only one, but she does not share the same affections.” 

He was being honest, and it hurt more than he thought it would speak aloud.

* * *

The dinner was delicious, and Rey was on her second glass of wine. She and Rose had been laughing about antics they got up to when they were younger, and telling embarrassing stories.

Rose was definitely winning with her story of how she nearly set her husband on fire on their wedding night; thankfully no husbands were harmed.

Rey laughed as she recounted how she had the candles near the edge of the bedside table and Finn ended up getting too close and his sleeve dipped too low into the flame. 

“Was he alright?” Rey asked.

“Oh, he was fine, just a bit cross.” Rose giggled before there was a slight lull in the conversation.

“Is it just me,” Rose asked, “or is Mr. Solo acting very strangely recently?”

“How so?”

“Well, he’s just been acting very strange. He’s hardly talking to you but then kisses you with such passion, that I told Finn that if he saw he would be covering my eyes. He’s been cut off from everyone and rather unpleasant to be around, more so than usual. Today he was so rude to you as well! I don’t know what’s gotten into him but something seems off.”

Thinking about it Rey had thought his behaviour odd, but she just chalked that up to personality. Today he had certainly been rude, but she didn’t think that was unusual for him.

But she did wonder about the way he kissed her.

She would feel his lips on her, long after they had kissed like they were burned into her skin. 

It was odd behaviour indeed.

* * *

Throughout dinner Jessica’s friend had been very friendly with Ben; too friendly for his liking.

He had to admit that she was very pretty. She had an elfin face and bright blond hair and blue eyes. Yes, she was attractive, but he still felt nothing towards her. 

She was quite obviously flirting with him, leaning into him slightly. He supposed that the mention of his fortune was enough to make her feel bold. As the only male in his family, he was set to inherit his mother’s and uncle’s fortune, as well as what he makes from the opera. 

No, he was not living in poverty.

“Now Mr. Solo do you play the piano?” Jessica’s friend asked. He still couldn’t remember her name, and by this point, it was becoming embarrassing to ask.

“Not very well,” he said honestly.

“Well I have been playing since I was seven, so maybe I should play and you sing,” she whispered to him. He said maybe sometime before he continued eating.

He was hoping to strike up a conversation with Mitaka but he was still engrossed with Jessica, clearly not needing any help from Ben. The only other person there who didn’t look like they were at death's door was Jessica’s friend…

Now he understood why he was invited.

Mitaka had been saying that he needed to find a woman to marry.

_‘You have been single for too long, you need to find someone,’_ he said one day.

_‘And your the best person to tell me this?’_

_‘I’ve found the right person, I just hope she thinks so,’_ even back then he was clearly in love with Jessica, and she was clearly in love with him, but neither of them had realized.

As she continued to smile at him and bat her eyes he decided to go along. It might help relieve the deep ache residing in his soul; even briefly.

* * *

Rey realized that it was getting late but she was enjoying herself with Rose so much that she kept telling herself that she could stay another ten minutes. 

Rey was telling the story of how Maz found her, alone by the side of a road. She could see the genuine pity in Rose’s eyes. Rose’s parents were not fabulously wealthy, but they never had to worry about putting meals on the table.

For most of her life neither had Rey. She was fortunate, her days of hunger were behind her; only a painful memory that lingered at the back of her mind whenever she saw someone begging. That’s why she always had some coins on her person, so she could buy some food for a hungry child, should she come across one.

Thankfully the conversation moved along, away from her childhood, and Rey continued to ignore the clock in the corner of the room.

* * *

He supposed that he knew that it would end up here. While everyone was distracted by Mitaka and Jessica singing, Ben and her friend were able to slip away.

They were currently in what looked like Mr. Pavas office, with books adorning the shelves and a desk and a small light in the corner of the room.

“Oh! Mr. Solo,” she cried as he kissed along the column of her neck. He tried to shush her; the last thing he needed was to alert the Pavas as to their current activities.

She was clearly angling for more, the way she gripped his waistcoat, pulling him towards her. As she ran her hands up his chest while she kissed him with a possessive ferocity. He pinned her to the wall, placing his hands on either side of her head, while she let out a quiet moan.

She began to lift her skirt slightly, signifying to him exactly what she wanted. He would oblige, but he wasn’t approaching it with his usual enthusiasm when taking a woman. For some reason, he felt as if he was being disloyal. It was ridiculous. He couldn’t be disloyal to a woman that wasn’t his. Still, as they kissed he felt like he was doing something very wrong.

Her skirts just stayed around her hips while he continued to kiss her, drawing it out, and pressing into her.

“Please Mr. Solo,” she begged as she hooked a leg around him, trying to encourage him.

“Of course,” he said as he kissed her mechanically.

“Rey.”

Then she pulled away from him, and only then did he realize what he said.

_Rey_ …

He was praying that she didn’t hear too clearly. The last thing he needed was to have this woman try to find out who Rey was.

“What did you just call me?” She said, sounding outraged as she pushed him off her.

“T-that's your name, isn’t it?” It was a pathetic excuse, but he didn’t care to go into detail about how he would rather be hidden away with Rey Kanata, pressing her against a bookshelf in an office, while their friends are a few rooms away.

“It’s Catherine!” She said furiously as she marched out of the room, fixing her skirts.

Ben took that as his queue to leave.

He’d had enough of socializing.

* * *

Rey eventually conceded that she should be getting going. As the clock struck nine she realized that she would probably have to try and find her way home in the dark; her only guide being the moon.

“Thank you for having me over,” Rey said as she grabbed her Spencer jacket, getting ready to leave.

“I loved having you over,” Rose said, “are you sure you don’t want to wait for Finn to get back so he can walk you home? I’m just worried about something happening to you.”

“Oh I’ll be fine,” Rey brushes off, besides, Maz taught her how to fight when she was young (she was aware of her rather unorthodox upbringing), “I like walking alone sometimes; just me and the moonlight.”

“Alright,” Rose didn’t sound convinced, but she didn’t want to fight her, “well goodbye, and I’ll see you on Monday.”

“Goodbye!” Rey said, before making her way home.

As Rey made her way along Venice’s winding streets and bridges, she found her mind wandering. She thought of Rose's comment about Ben's unusual behaviour, she thought of what it would be like on Monday, kissing him in front of all those people. She wondered if there would be the same passion and tenderness.

Still, she roamed the streets, glancing at the flowers that adorned people’s windows, listening to snippets of conversation she could hear through open windows. She heard people laughing, arguing and celebrating, all within one street. 

It made her realize just how much life was contained within the small island of Venice. All the people who lived there their whole lives, who got married and had families. This small city had seen all of it. 

As she approached another bridge she decided to take a moment and enjoy the solitude. She looked over the railing and saw the full moon reflected perfectly in the canal below. As a gentle breeze swept through the air, she was compelled to do something that she hadn’t done since she was a small child.

She immediately lifted her skirts and climbed over the small stone wall so she could sit on it. As she was alone, she was able to sit there and enjoy looking at the moon and stars uninterrupted.

Eventually, she knew that she had to get home or else Maz would begin to worry so she tried to get up and swing herself back around.

Unfortunately for Rey, she hadn’t done this move in quite a few years, so she had forgotten the exact movements necessary to get herself back onto the bridge. She hadn’t realized that she had accidentally stepped on her own skirt instead of the stone barrier.

Before she knew it, she had fallen into the cold waters of the Venetian canals.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry for the cliff hanger, but i promise that i will update soon so you wont be waiting too long and i promise that the payoff will be good.
> 
> any constructive criticism/historical fact checking would be much appreciated.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PSA: PULLING OUT DOESN'T WORK BUT FOR THE SAKE OF THIS FIC IT HAS TO BECAUSE FROM MY RESEARCH THE ONLY OTHER OPTIONS FROM THIS TIME WERE A LEMON (yes a lemon) AND USING A PIGS INTESTINE AS A CONDOM.

She didn’t register the shock of hitting the freezing water initially. She hadn’t even registered that she was falling until halfway down. 

By the time she hit the water, she wasn’t even slightly prepared for the water's chilling embrace. The canal was deeper than she thought it would be. She expected something shallower so she could stand up and walk back to the street; instead, she found nothing but more dark water beneath her.

She kicked and moved her arms, trying to tread water but found that she was struggling too much with the cold and her dress growing heavy. Instead, she swam over to the side of a building that was closest to where she landed. As she gripped the slight ledge, she felt her hands begin to tremble and she wasn’t sure how much longer she could hold on for. She barely managed to swim the distance from where she fell to the wall; it was unlikely she would be able to swim to the street and lift herself up.

Silently, she began praying for some sort of miracle, when she heard a splash behind her. She turned as she saw a figure swimming towards her. She had no idea who it was until it called out her name and she realized that it was the voice of Ben Solo.

“No, no, no,” she said as he swam closer, “not you! I don’t need to owe you anything I can get out of here fine on my own!”

“Really?” He said sarcastically as he grabbed onto the wall so they were face to face. She could see his ears poking out from his wet hair.

“Yes.” Her voice was beginning to tremble with the cold now.

“How about we make a deal? You don’t owe me anything and I get to help you. Agreed? Good.” And with that, he wrapped his arm around her waist and swam to the steps used by the gondoliers to board the gondolas. From there he hauled her up so she could climb the stairs with him following closely behind.

Once she was on dry land she immediately started to walk in the direction of her home.

“Thank you, Mr. Solo,” she said over her shoulder as he went to pick up the outer layers that he must have shed when he jumped in.

“Where are you going?” He asked as he walked up to her, grabbing her wrist so she couldn’t leave.

“Home.”

“Miss Kanata I know where you live, and you will freeze to death before you reach it. I live close by, I can get a fire going and you can warm up there.” She desperately wanted to say yes, but pride was getting in the way. She didn’t want to admit to the thrill that went through her at the prospect of having to warm up in his home. She also didn’t want to admit to her fear that once this was over he would go back to being just as cold and uncaring as before he saved her life.

“I cannot,” she said, hating herself, “it’s not proper.”

“And it’s not proper if I let you die either!” There was a real sense of distress in his voice. 

After that, it hadn’t taken much else to convince her. She knew what she was doing was crazy, but she told herself that she was being practical by letting herself warm up.

He was right, he lived very near indeed. His home was only a few paces from the bridge where she fell. He opened the door and immediately ushered her up to one of the spare bedrooms where he lit a fire for her to sit by.

He left and came back shortly after with some robes for her to change into, so she didn’t have to sit in that cold dress. 

He was certainly committed to being propper because he handed her the key to the room she was in so she could lock it if she so wished. She knew that she had to get changed. She couldn’t stay in these cold clothes.

For some reason, the idea of taking off her clothes when Ben was so near seemed like the most thrilling thing in the world. She knew that he only invited her into his home because he was trying to be a gentleman, and he probably didn’t want to lose another co-star. Because of that, she had to keep her emotions in check. She couldn’t read too much into him saving her, he probably didn’t even know it was her.

* * *

Ben knew it was her when she fell into the water. He had been approaching the street and had a clear view of the bridge with the silhouette of a girl sitting on the wall, lit only by the moon and a few lights along the street. 

He had paused for a moment just to look. She seemed so at peace, and he had a desire to share that moment with this strange shadow. He could see her begin to shift and he realized that she was probably about to leave. 

That was when she turned around and for a brief moment, he saw it was Rey. Then she must have lost her footing and slipped on something because she lost her balance and she ended up falling into the canal. That was when he ran to her.

He was pulling off his waistcoat and his shoes as he ran to her to get her out. He had no idea if she could swim, but he wasn’t going to risk anything.

Without even thinking he jumped in the water and swam to her.

“Rey!” He called as he approached. Her sudden realization meant that he was met with immediate opposition to his help.

He won out in the end, getting her to a warm room with a change of clothes. As he sat in his room he began to think that he was a fool.

The woman who was the subject of his infatuation was in the spare room warming up. He couldn’t even focus on removing his own, freezing clothes. Instead, he sat by the fire and tried to ignore the very obvious fact that she was probably undressing in a room just next to his.

He began to wonder if maybe he should have offered her his room; it was warmer and had a bigger fire that was lit earlier in the evening by his housekeeper who went home around eight-thirty. 

Yes, he really was well and truly alone with the most beautiful girl he had ever met. He tried not to think about how cold she must be. Should he get her some blankets? Should he offer her a drink?

He didn’t know what to do, so he sat in his room, on the small green chair by the fire while his shirt sleeves dried as he wore them.

He eventually decided he should get changed into something else he could wear, should she want him to escort her home. In the back of his mind, he supposed that it was just wishful thinking, but he might as well be prepared.

As he got up to take off his clothes he suddenly heard a knock at his door.

* * *

Rey had been in her room furiously trying to get her dress off but to no avail. Her hands were so cold that whenever she tried to grip a button, her fingers couldn’t hold onto it. It was becoming impossible and she knew further down the dress it would be harder and harder to undo. 

It was agonizing trying to undo them. If she was going to do it alone it would take her all night.

But she wasn’t alone.

Ben was in the other room.

She really shouldn’t be asking him to help her take off her dress. It was inappropriate and unnecessary; she could do it herself. She managed to take her hair down without any fuss. But as she kept clawing at the buttons, her fingers kept trembling and she couldn’t properly grip them. 

Knowing that unless she wanted to stay in these wet clothes all night and freeze, she had to ask for help.

Cautiously, she left the room she was in and walked to the door at the end of the short hall. All she had to do was knock. 

She stood there for a moment, terrified. What if he said no? But he wouldn’t, would he? He jumped into that canal to get her out and gave her a warm hearth to sit by. To further quell her fears she reminded herself that it wouldn’t exactly be his first time seeing a woman in a state of undress, so she was nothing special.

Finally, she knocked.

When he opened the door she saw that he still hadn’t changed out of his wet clothes either. 

“I need help!” She blurted out, startling him slightly, “my hands are trembling so much that I can’t grip the buttons on my dress…” she didn’t quite have the courage to ask him outright if he could undress her, but he seemed to understand her predicament.

“Stand by the fire,” he said, face impassive, “it will keep you warm.

Letting her in, she finally got a better view of his room. On one end he had a four-poster bed with crisp white sheets, whereas on the other wall there was a roaring fire with a seat next to it with a side table and decanter. 

As she made her way to the fireplace she could feel her heart beating out of her chest. He may have said something to her, but the sound of blood pumping through her ears was so loud she wouldn’t have heard. She felt his hands reach for the first button and slowly undo it.

As he undid the buttons she could feel his warm breath against her neck, sending shivers down her spine. She could feel a dampness growing between her legs, the further down he unbuttoned the dress. Every time his fingers lightly grazed her skin it felt like he was leaving a trail of fire in his wake.

A few times she thought that he was trembling.

As he finished, she went to pull the dress down so she could go back to her room, but he stopped her.

“Don’t,” he said, voice breathy and shaking, “if you take that off here I don't know if I shall be able to control myself.” As he spoke she felt her heart jump.

‘ _Does he want me?_ ’ She thought to herself. She didn’t even think about the next words she spoke.

“What if I don’t want you to?” She turned around and saw his pupils had blown wide and his breathing grew heavy. There was a look of disbelief in his eyes as she looked up at him. They were so close now. She could see each beauty mark, and feel his breath on her face. She could see he had a freckle on his upper lip.

As they regarded each other, he brought a hand up to move a strand of hair away from her face.

“Rey…” he said, his voice trembling.

“Ben…”

And then he bent down and kissed her. It was soft and gentle like a summer breeze. There was no urgency to the kiss, just the softness of his lips and the way he wrapped his arm around her waist. He was holding her like she could slip away in a moment and it would all be over.

But she wouldn’t slip away. 

No, she was staying right where she was. 

As they broke away to catch their breath for the first time, she saw a smile grace the lips of Ben Solo. It was a real one; not the pretend ones they would share on stage, no, this was real.

As she smiled back at him she realized something; She was happy. For the first time in years, she felt an unbridled joy wash over her like a tidal wave. All she wanted to do was to take the feeling and hold onto it for the rest of her life.

He turned her around so he could unlace her corset, leaving kisses on her shoulder and neck while he loosened it so she could get out. Realizing that he was still mostly dressed, Rey sought to rectify that, turning around and tugging at his shirt sleeves and his trousers. Getting the hint, he quickly began to undress.

Then he bent down and kissed her again, before he grabbed her and picked her up, causing her to yelp in surprise, and deposited her on the bed.

There they continued to remove each other’s clothes until they were both naked as the day they were born. Suddenly she felt self-conscious about her body; she was worried that she was too flat-chested, too skinny, too hairy. She went to cover herself but Ben stopped her.

“Don’t,” he said.

“Why?” She asked. The moment the question left her mouth she wanted to kick herself. Who would say _why?_

“I want to see,” he said, as he bent over and kissed her again, while she savoured every moment of it, briefly calming her nerves.

* * *

As she lay naked on his bed, lit by the roaring fire and a few candles, he could fully appreciate her beauty. Her soft curves and pale skin glowing golden in the room's light. Her hair, slightly damp and spread around her head like a halo. Her pink lips, soft as rose petals, parted and slightly swollen from all their kissing. He could be quite content to spend the rest of his day’s kissing her.

As he hovered above her he could see that she was nervous.

“Are you sure?” He asked, he didn’t want her to think he was some great brute who forces himself upon women. No, he wanted her to continue looking at him with tenderness and affection.

“Yes,” she said, sounding breathy, “it’s my first time, is all. I’m just nervous.” With that Ben felt a sense of relief wash over him. It also gave him an excuse to do something he had been fantasizing about.

Slowly, he kissed her cheek, her jaw, her neck, her chest; slowly working his way down her body. He wished he could have lingered on her breasts, however, he also wanted to taste her, and make her fall apart with his tongue.

“Ben, what are you doing?” She asked as he began to kiss her thighs.

“Do you trust me?” He asked. He was almost terrified of the answer, he hadn’t exactly given her reason to trust him in the past.

“Yes,” she said, smiling ever so slightly as she moved a strand of hair out of his way as he looked up at her. He smiled back, before resuming his kisses along her thighs.

Then he lay a quick kiss on her sex and she appeared to realize what he was doing. Then he darted his tongue out, licking between her folds, making her gasp. 

As he continued lapping at her, she continued to moan and writhe, until he moved onto her clit, licking and sucking. She sounded like she was holding back a scream. He looked up briefly to see that she had clamped a hand over her mouth and her eyes squeezed shut.

She dug her hand into his hair, scraping her nails along his scalp when he slowly pushed a finger inside her, meeting little resistance as he drew out even more gasps and cries from her.

He loved the sounds she was making, the way she gasped and moaned as he brought her closer and closer to her peak. He loved the taste of her arousal, knowing he had done that to her, he loved the way she clenched around his finger. When he had done this with previous women he found that he hadn’t enjoyed it much, but with Rey, he could continue to eat her out for the rest of his life.

* * *

Rey had never even heard of this particular act before, but she was enjoying as his tongue swirled around her sex and the way his lips clasped her clit as he sucked.

She could see stars behind her eyes as he continued bringing her closer to the edge. When she came, she came with a scream, and probably harder than she had come before.

He looked up at her, face covered in slick, and smiling harder than she had ever seen him smile. For a moment it looked like she had drawn an orgasm out of him rather than the other way round.

He wiped his mouth and moved his way up her body, leaving light kisses as he went along. Then he kissed her mouth, letting her taste herself on his lips.

“Are you still sure you want to do this?” He asked as he hovered above her. Despite giving her the greatest orgasm of her life, he still appeared unsure if she wanted to continue. It was quite sweet.

“Yes,” she said.

He kissed her and began to adjust himself so he was just nudging at her entrance. She kissed him and he slowly began to push in. She winced slightly at the slight pain she felt causing him to stop suddenly with a worried look.

“Just getting used to you,” she said. As he continued to slowly push in she could see the strain in his face, as if he wanted to thrust into her as forcefully as he could, but was also terrified of hurting her.

Eventually, he was all the way in, and Rey felt so stretched out she thought that she might break. She hadn’t realized how big he was; she avoided looking at him so she didn’t terrify herself into backing out. She had dreamt about this and now she was there she couldn’t be happier.

“You can move,” she said, and slowly he began to move with shallow thrusts. As the pain ebbed she was left with only a growing sensation of pleasure building within her. She wasn’t comfortable with her position so she shifted her hips slightly to move into a better position. As she did that, he inadvertently hit a spot within her making her yelp out in pleasure. 

Ben caught on, moving slightly faster, continuing to hit that spot making her cry out. 

“You can go faster,” she said. Ben needed to hear nothing else before he sped up his movements, making her breasts bounce. Yet, all the while he thrust into her, he still held her close, kissing her and murmuring words of affection. It was like he didn’t want to let her go.

Sharing his desire for nearness, Rey wrapped a leg around his waist, digging her heel into the small of his back. For some reason, as she dug her heel in he began to groan while his words of affection grew filter by the minute.

She began to feel his hand creeping down her body, moving past her breast, past her stomach. The moment he touched her clit it was as if a hold went through her body as he began to rub.

Slowly she felt that pleasure build within her, like a dam about to break. Clearly, he was close as well because his thrusts were growing more erratic as he buried his face into the crook of her neck.

“I- I’m going t- to come,” she said as she lifted her hips to meet his thrusts.

“Come for me,” he said as he rubbed her clit harder and faster in tiny little circles.

Soon after she was arching her back and crying out in pleasure. He quickly pulled away, making sure that he spilled outside of her.

He rolled off of her and gathered her in his arms as they lay panting in a sweaty heap.

* * *

Ben felt as if he was floating on a cloud and would never come down. He had just had sex. With Rey.

As she lay in his arms he pressed kisses to her face, making her let out a contented sigh. As she smiled softly at him he felt something deep within him swell.

An emotion he couldn’t quite place.

Before he had long to dwell on it, Rey moved so that she had her ear pressed to his chest, listening to his heartbeat. He enjoyed just lying there with her in his arms; it felt almost domestic. Soon the silence became awkward and he was trying to think of something he could say to her.

“Why didn’t you want me to help you earlier?” it had been weighing in his mind.

“I did,” she said, as he stroked his knuckles along her back, “I had fantasies about you rescuing me and taking me where I stood for weeks. I didn’t want to admit that to myself for the longest time, but when we kissed I realized just how I felt about you. Every time I-” she stopped as if she was embarrassed by the direction of the conversation, “I would think of this tall dark stranger, coming and saving me from mortal peril and then having his way with me. I would see your face in my mind but I would push it away as fast as I could. When you jumped into that canal it was every fantasy I ever had come to life, but you were so rude today I thought that it was all ruined. And I was scared. I was scared that that one perfect little fantasy I had would be ruined. I didn’t think that you wanted me, I didn’t think that you would take me where I stood; that’s why I walked away.”

He was surprised by how candid she was, but he realized that he also owed her an apology for his behaviour. He was cold and rude and she had every right to not want his help.

“I’m sorry,” he said, “I was cold and rude and you don’t deserve to be the target of my own insecurities.” She propped herself and gave him a questioning look, “I was worried that you would see me differently knowing that my father is a Turk.” She looked almost offended by the suggestion. She lent over and kissed him passionately as he held her close.

“I am of low birth and was given rank by the kindness of my mother. I could never look at you differently for your father. He’s much better than mine at any rate.” At that, they both grinned as Rey moved to kiss him.

“Your fantasies,” he said, almost with trepidation, as they pulled away to catch their breath, “were they met?”

“Oh,” she said with a mischievous grin on her face, “they were exceeded further than I ever imagined.” At that he wrapped his arm around her waist and flipped her over onto her back, making let out a shriek of joy, which was promptly followed by laughter. Then he began to kiss her with more passion than the thought possible.

They continued to kiss, laugh and hold each other like they could slip away at any moment. Ben didn’t ever want to let go, and by the looks of it neither did Rey.

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this was my first time writing smut so if you have any suggestions on how i could improve i would really appreciate it.
> 
> thanks for reading!!!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter seven!!! sorry its taken so long to update. ive started university and thats been taking up a lot of my time so i haven't had as many opportunities to write and edit. in the future updates may be a bit slow but they are coming.

They were perfectly happy to stay in their own little bubble for the rest of the night. In Ben's bed, they could forget the rest of the world and remain holding each other.

It was at the back of Rey's mind that she couldn’t remain there indefinitely, as much as she wanted to. Her mother would be worrying about where she was, and knowing her she would go out looking for Rey herself.

But as Ben lay beside her and looked at her, with only tenderness in his eyes, she wanted to forget for a moment. It must have shown on her face because his look of tenderness changed to concern.

“What’s wrong?” He whispered with a slight rasp, as he went to hold her hand. It was strange how the act of holding her hand seemed to be the most meaningful thing in the world. It helped her to feel like she wasn’t alone like he cared about her.

“My mother,” she said eventually, “she’ll be wondering where I am.” There was a sad look in his eyes as if he mourned the loss of her in his bed as much as she did having to leave it.

“I understand,” he said as he brought her hand to his lips, gently kissing her knuckles, “what are you going to tell her?”

“I’ll say that you were a perfect gentleman.”

“You are an excellent liar,” he said, bringing her close so he could kiss her forehead.

“For the first twenty minutes of my arrival you were,” he laughed at that and went to kiss her. Slowly his expression grew serious and uncertain.

“Rey,” he said, “what we did, I don’t want you to think that it meant nothing to me. I don’t want you to go to sleep tonight thinking that you were used in any way. I care about you deeply and would never use you.” There was a sincerity to his voice that she had never heard before like he was sharing some deep secret.

“I know you didn’t use me,” she said, and he moved to kiss her.

Eventually, they got out of bed. They had to rip themselves away from each other so they could get dressed. They agreed that Ben would walk her home so as to be a gentleman and to quell his concerns about her walking alone at night.

Once they were dressed they made their way through the dimly lit streets of Venice, enjoying the quiet of each other’s company. Rey desperately wished she could rest her head on his shoulder and place her hand in the crook of his elbow but had to restrain herself, worried that someone may see.

They both agreed that it would be suspicious if, the next time they saw each other at the opera, they were suddenly getting along. They made the decision to keep all the events of the night a secret from all apart from Maz.

As they approached Rey's home she could see a single light on in the upstairs window, where Maz's room was. She could see a small figure quickly move away from the windowsill as they approached. She didn’t even need to knock on the door, Maz had already opened it by the time she got there. She wasted no time pulling Rey in for a hug.

“Oh, Where on earth were you! I was worried sick!” Maz said, clearly relieved, but also slightly angry.

“She fell into one of the canals,” Ben said before Rey could answer, “I saw her clinging on to a ledge so I jumped in and pulled her out. My home was close by and I offered someplace to warm up. I lit a fire for her and when she was ready I escorted her to you.”

“Thank you, dear,” Maz said, “is there anything I can do to say thank you?”

“I just ask that word of this doesn’t reach my mother,” he said, making Maz laugh, “you know how she is; if she heard of this I don’t think God himself could stop her planning our wedding.”

“I understand,” she said, and with that said goodbye go Ben and ushered Rey inside.

* * *

Once she was gone, Ben felt a sudden pang of loneliness from deep within him. It was strange how, in such a short time, he had grown accustomed to her presence. Now that he walked alone he felt a desire to see her again, to take her in his arms and never be separated. He already knew that Monday would be hell; he would have to be rude to her and brush her off whenever he saw her. If anyone were to find out that he had saved and sheltered her, her honour would be immediately brought into question. While the doubts would not be unfounded, he knew how she would be shunned. Were it anyone else besides himself they would not question her, but because of his reputation, she would be already seen as damaged goods.

His reputation was of course completely over-exaggerated; Rey had only been his fifth woman, which really isn't a lot for some supposed Casanova. His first had been a girl he met in Rome when he was seventeen, his second was some woman he had danced with at a ball and never saw again after, his third was a prostitute whom he had gotten drunk with and his fourth was a woman whose interests he suspected lay more in line with the feminine. 

Then there was Rey. Those other women couldn’t compare to her. After laying with her once he knew that he could not lay with another, or else it would be some great disloyalty towards her.

By the time he arrived back home, he was exhausted and ready to collapse into bed. As he pulled the duvet back he saw the spot of blood on the white sheets. That small reminder of what they had done. Ben knew that his housekeeper would ask.

After a moment, he grabbed a knife and made a small cut to his hand. He dabbed the small wound with a handkerchief and left it on his bedside table. That way if his housekeeper saw the sheets she would also see his bloodied kerchief and suspect he had done something stupid and injured himself. It wouldn’t be the first time.

Sunday came and went uneventfully; Ben spent most of the day reviewing the music and reading. His housekeeper, Bebe, had thankfully seen the handkerchief and tutted at him and told him to be more careful, which he promised he would be. 

Yes, Sunday was dull. Monday on the other hand, was pure chaos. 

It appeared that Jessika had decided overnight that he was the scum of the earth because she kept glaring daggers at him. For the life of him, he couldn't figure out why she would have taken such a sudden dislike towards him. It wasn't as if he had insulted her, on Saturday they barely talked…

Then he remembered her friend. She must have said something to Jessika about the abrupt end to their interactions, or she realized that they had snuck off somewhere. Either way, he was silently praying that miss whatever-her-name didn't reveal too much about their brief time in Mr. Pavas' office. 

That of course brought up the question in his mind _‘how much do women tell each other anyway?’_

For the rest of the day, he avoided eye contact with her.

The next element of pure chaos was the fact that there were about five hours until they performed. That in and of itself was enough for everyone to be panicking. Costumes were disappearing and reappearing, Finns E string on his violin broke and he was frantically trying to restring it, one of the props had a break in it, a ballerina was in a corner crying about something, and his uncle Luke appeared as if he was ready to throw himself off saint Mark's Campanile.

The third element that made Monday difficult was more subtle, less obvious. It was the fact that he and Rey had hardly spoken all day; he knew not to take it personally, they agreed to continue the pretense of disliking each other so as not to arouse suspicion, but he still found it difficult not to pull her in and kiss her.

All-day his thoughts seemed to drift to her; her eyes, her lips, the way she smiled after he kissed her, the way she gripped his shoulders while he rolled his hips into her, drawing out tiny cries of pleasure. He found his focus was nonexistent that day. 

It wasn’t until an hour before the show did she approach him, speaking to him for the first time since Saturday night when she said goodbye to him.

“Mr. Solo, if we could speak privately, I have some matters of blocking that I wish to discuss with you.” Her manner was cold and uncaring. He felt his heart sink slightly and that reminder of the way she would speak to him just days ago.

“Of course,” he said in an equally cold manner as he guided her to one of the smaller music rooms, adjacent to the stage where performers would use the piano to practice.

Once the door was shut, Ben turned to face Rey who looked incredibly nervous.

“What part of the blocking did you want to talk about?” He asked as a confused look crossed her face.

“Did you think that I asked you away to talk about blocking?”

“Yes,” Ben said sheepishly. That only made her smile slightly before she appeared nervous again, “Rey what’s wrong?”

He saw her begin to blush. “Well, what we both did Saturday,” she began staring at the floor. She sounded as if she had rehearsed this several times in her head, “I- I wish to do that again. With you. And I understand if you don’t wish too, but…” her voice trailed off as he began to approach her and she slowly looked up.

“Rey Kanata,” he said, placing both of his hands on either side of her face, as she looked up at him all doe-eyed, “are you propositioning me?”

“I guess.” And with that, he slowly leaned down and softly kissed her.

“Well,” he said as he kissed her while he spoke, “I think. that I. shall have to. accept your offer wholeheartedly.”

The widest grin broke out onto her face as he pressed a final kiss to her forehead.

“We should probably leave before people get suspicious,” she said.

“Storm out of here and shout ‘impossible man!’ to me, that way people still think that we dislike each other.” She nodded in agreement before opening the door and shouting “you impossible man!” at him.

Finn had just turned the corner into the hallway they were in, leaving him looking stunned, as Rey marched past him and Ben grumbled something about stubbornness.

* * *

Maz was a bundle of nerves for her daughter. As she took her seat she couldn’t help but feel immensely proud of Rey; it was her first opera and here she was performing in one of Venice’s most prestigious houses run by the legendary Luke Skywalker. She always knew she was talented when she was five she heard her singing and decided to talk to her good friend Leia about any good singing schools for her. Leia naturally recommended her brother and after listening to Rey, he agreed to train her once she was old enough.

Years later, here she was as the orchestra tuned, sitting in the front row waiting to watch her perform. It was a shame Hux couldn’t be there, he sent a letter the day before saying that he was being called away on business to Milan and would be gone for at least a month. Rey didn’t seem too upset though, just resigned.

She knew that Rey didn’t harbour any strong feelings for Hux, it was to be a marriage of practicality, but her heart did break for her. Rey knew that, as a ward, her options were limited and while she was set to inherit (Maz made sure of it so that she would never have to worry about money), her lack of station would be seen as a hindrance. Hux didn’t care particularly about her low birth, and Rey had told her that she could trust him with her money. She knew that both parties were in the marriage for the money, but she still wished that her daughter would grow to love him at least. She just wanted her to be happy.

The orchestra began playing its opening tune, pulling Maz from her thoughts as she began frantically looking for Rey on stage. As the show began and she heard Rey sing, she felt a swell of pride within her and a few tears threatening to make themselves known. 

When it finally came time for Juliet to meet Romeo, Maz was surprised to say that she was glad that Hux wasn’t there. When Rey kissed Ben it was incredibly realistic; she would think them in love if Rey hadn’t spent Sunday complaining about how rude he was to her on Saturday (the exception being when he saved her).

Yes, her daughter was a very good actress and a wonderful singer. When the final curtain fell at the end of the show Maz, along with the rest of the audience, gave a standing ovation. As Rey took her bows she looked directly at Maz and flashed her the brightest smile she had ever seen.

She was so proud of her girl.

* * *

Rey was ecstatic after the show. The whole time it felt like she was in a trance that she had just been pulled out of. Once they had finished their bows and the curtain had fallen everyone was congratulating each other on a wonderful performance. Sometimes when on stage, Rey found herself becoming lost in the performance, with an electric atmosphere forming around her and her fellow performers; today there was that atmosphere. 

Despite all the congratulations, Rey was eager to run to her dressing room, so she quietly managed to slip away from all the commotion. As she opened the door she was greeted with the face of her mother standing in the middle of the small room.

“Oh darling,” she said as she went to hug the tiny woman, “I am so proud of you.” 

“How did you get in?” Rey asked as she broke away, seeing that she might have been crying recently.

“I told them I’m your mother.” She said frankly as she hugged her daughter again. Suddenly, Rey felt herself begin to cry softly, not out of sadness, but out of happiness. She was happy that she had just completed her first opening show, she was happy that her mother enjoyed it, and she was proud of herself. 

She knew that she should be with her co-stars, but she would much rather stay in that room, crying tears of joy with her mother.

* * *

After the opening night, it seemed as if all of Venice was talking about Poe Damarons ‘Romeo and Juliet’. All of the upper echelons of society were telling their friends how they must see it and they were all talking about how lovely the new soprano was. Every critic, or every man who had seen an opera that he didn't like and therefore thought himself a critic, agreed that it was incredible.

By week's end, the opera had become a sensation, making Rey feel thoroughly overwhelmed. She was happy that people were enjoying it, but she found all the praise overwhelming and thought it occasionally over the top. Despite this, everyone at the opera house was in the mood to celebrate.

As a result, Finn and Rose had invited Rey and Poe, and a few other people from the opera house, over for a small celebratory dinner. 

Rey was glad for the company, but she was also glad for the excuse. That wasn’t to say that she didn’t enjoy their evening, she did, but she was also able to sneak away early feigning a headache, and take a small detour.

As she knocked on Ben's door she felt her heart race out of her chest. What if someone saw? What if someone recognized her? These thoughts spun around her head as she waited for him to open the door.

After what felt like an eternity, he finally opened the door, at which point Rey nearly jumped on him. Thankfully they restrained themselves until the door was closed, by which point he had pressed her against the wall as he kissed her.

“Hello,” he said breathlessly, face hovering close to hers as a small smile graced his lips.

“Good evening Mr. Solo,” she said flirtatiously. He kissed her cheek and led her upstairs.

“How long do you have?” He asked. They both agreed the day before that she would leave the small celebration early so that they could spend the rest of the evening together.

“We have about an hour and a half before my mother starts combing the canals. I didn't want to leave too early and appear rude.”

“I guess we’ll have to use that time wisely,” he said before he ducked his head down and kissed her again and picked her up and carried her to bed. Once they were there they began to make quick work of removing each other’s clothes.

It was strange how, in such a short space of time, kissing Ben had become so natural. It was like breathing, and Rey feared what would happen if she stopped. 

It was easier this time, there was still a bit of a stretch, but there was no discomfort. As he rolled his hips into hers, she cried out in pleasure and lost herself to him. She revelled in every touch and every gentle caress, as he kissed her. 

When they were together, she found that she could forget the rest of the world for a while. She could ignore the glaringly obvious fact that as she lay with one, she was engaged to another. At the moment, all that mattered was her and Ben.

Suddenly he grabbed her and spun her so that she was on top of him. She wasn’t sure what to do at first, but he guided her and soon they had settled back into their old rhythm. It felt different being in this position, but she enjoyed it nonetheless.

She felt like she was in more control like this, and she was revelling in watching Ben fall apart as she moved. He wasn’t inactive though, he was palming her breasts and rubbing her clit as well as thrusting upwards to meet her. As jolts of pleasure ran through her she could feel that she was getting close.

Once again Ben flipped her over onto her back, right before an orgasm ripped through her body, making her arch her back and cry out Ben's name. It wasn’t long before he was pulling out and taking himself in hand reaching his completion.

He collapsed on top of her, kissing her as they lay in a sweaty heap. As he held her, she felt something unfamiliar within her, a flame of some new feeling deep within her soul that was desperately trying to make itself known to her.

She chose to ignore it.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you enjoyed it and any constructive criticism/ historical fact checking would be much appreciated.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter 8 and boy its a big one. just a warning, this chapter does contain Hux being a dick, but dont worry, it is short lived.

He didn’t care much for her. She was just a thing to be used for a moment's release and she knew that. It was her job after all. She was quite pretty to look at, with her large breasts and full figure, complimented by her blond hair. She was attractive in a temporary sense. Hux was sure that, were he to live with her, he would soon grow tired of her looks.

Rey was different though, she had a more lasting beauty in his eyes that, even when she was old, he would not detest looking upon her wrinkles. Yes, she was pretty enough, and rich enough for him to marry.

It was a shame that she wanted to wait until she lay with him. He had been quite angry at the time; she was going to marry into his fortune and be provided for the rest of her life, the least she could do was spread her legs for a bit. But alas, she demanded that he be ‘proper’ and made some weak excuse about getting pregnant.

_“The sooner the better,”_ he thought. That way she would have to marry him and he would be secure in the knowledge that he would get her mother’s fortune.

His thoughts of Rey ended abruptly as the woman in front of him knelt naked between his legs and freed his erection from the confines of his trousers. She could at least pretend to be enthusiastic about it, she just looked resigned to the fact as she placed her mouth over his head.

As she sucked and he groaned he began thrusting into her mouth in a bid for more stimulation. Each time he did she appeared shocked by his movement. Eventually, he came and he gave her a handkerchief to spit into.

It was at that moment he heard a knock on the door of the room at his inn. He could afford something fancier, but there were fewer women at the high-end inns so he settled with the cheaper one. It wasn’t as if he was the only wealthy man doing it, those high-end places were meant for old men who couldn’t stand without the aid of a cane.

“Who is it?” He all but roared in annoyance, “get in the bed,” he said to the woman who was now wiping her mouth.

“It’s a letter addressed to you, sir.” The voice called from behind the door; it was clearly a young boy sent to deliver it.

As Hux made himself decent he approached the door, grabbed the letter and swiftly shut it in the face of the child who had been holding it. He was clearly expecting to be given some sort of payment for his service. Hux didn’t give any, he didn’t get to be this wealthy by giving his money away frivolously.

As he examined the letter he saw by the handwriting who had written it.

His mother.

He knew his mother didn’t like him, it was to be expected when he poisoned his father’s wine. She knew he had done it, but she didn’t turn him in, she clearly cared enough for him to not send him to the gallows. They only saw each other regularly for the sake of appearance.

Her whole finding out had been rather unfortunate, but his father was rich and Armitage wasn’t content to continue living off his charity when he was doing most of the work. Might as well kill the old man and become the owner of the family business in name and practice.

_My son,_

_I am aware that you have urgent business that you must attend to in Milan, but I have just seen our dear Rey perform in Romeo and Juliet, and I have to say that she is absolutely wonderful. She is so talented and I hope that you will come and see her, I’m sure that she wishes you were here to see her. Even if it’s not for me, see her for her sake, please._

_Your mother_

It was clear that she would rather Rey as a child to him but she didn’t need to be so obvious. She didn’t care that he was gone, but she did care about Rey. Unfortunately for Hux, his business couldn’t wait. It was just too urgent.

Besides, he never really cared for opera.

And so he put the letter down and began to take off his clothes to join the woman in his bed.

* * *

Ben dreaded visiting his parents. It was the same conversation over and over again. His mother would pester him about marriage and he would probably argue with his father about something trivial.

Only whenever marriage was brought up, there was a sting that wasn’t there before. He would always try to avoid the topic of marriage because he didn’t want to confront something very obvious, lurking deep within his soul. With that feeling came a pang of hopelessness.

There was an unspoken rule between him and Rey that her fiance is never mentioned; maybe they want to ignore it, maybe they want to live in their little world of make-believe where Rey is bound to none but him and he is bound to none but her.

It was a beautiful fantasy.

As Ben walked inside his mother’s home he was confronted with not just the faces of his parents but of Rey and her mother, who was having coffee in the drawing-room.

“Oh, Ben you're here!” His mother said as he walked over to her to kiss her cheek, “Mrs. Kanata and her daughter just stopped by.” Maz wasn’t actually married, she was just known as Mrs. Kanata due to her age and the fact that it soon became confusing to call both mother and daughter Miss Kanata.

“Mrs. Kanata, Miss Kanata,” he said in greeting. He and Rey briefly shared a look before he averted his eyes. Had he looked at her much longer there was no telling what he’d do.

“We were just talking about the opera and how wonderful the show is.” His mother said as he sat down, “we were just wondering if you had any idea what the next one was going to be.”

“Well Mr. Damaron had been looking as if he hasn’t slept in a week so I would say that he’s working on it, but other than that, I have no idea. He’s being incredibly secretive. Even uncle Luke doesn’t know.”

“Well I think…” his mother began but he didn’t hear the rest of it; he was too busy glancing at Rey, admiring her beauty. He tried not to be too obvious about it but at every given opportunity he would try and look at Rey. It appeared that she was doing the same as she would occasionally see her staring at him out of the corner of his eye. They did their best to avoid looking into each other’s eyes when sharing their yearning glances, but they would occasionally make eye contact, prompting them to look away as fast as possible.

It was agonizing to have to spend the afternoon with his parents, while Rey was sitting in front of him. All he wanted to do was pull her away and have his way with her. Luckily, his parent's insistence to speak with him kept any unwanted visitors at bay.

“Now Rey how long have you been engaged?” His mother asked, making Ben's heart sink. He could tell Rey was surprised by the question but she managed to hide her discomfort.

“Five months now,” she responded.

“And do you have any idea when you’ll be getting married?” Ben felt something within him break. He was desperately trying to think of a way to leave and escape the conversation. The best he could come up with was to glance at the clock and say that he needed to get going, but the thought that it would be a bit obvious.

“We haven’t set a date yet. I wish to be more established before we get married.” She said. The unspoken implication that he wanted to be married to a celebrity hung thick in the air.

_“You know, she can do a lot better than him,”_ his father muttered to Ben in Turkish.

There was a slight pause and Ben took that as his queue to announce that he had another engagement and had to leave. He was glad that nobody asked him what for; he hadn’t thought that far ahead.

As he reached the door to leave he suddenly heard someone approach him. As he turned to look at who it was he saw that Rey was standing behind him.

“Can I help you, Miss Kanata?” He said formally, unsure if anyone else was within earshot. The drawing-room was on the other side of the house, but Ben didn’t want to take the chance that Rey and her mother were also leaving at the same time.

“It’s just me,” she said in a hushed voice, making him relax, “I came to tell you that as the show is almost over there is going to be a small celebration tomorrow night.”

“Is that all?”

“No,” she said and she moved to hug him. He kissed the top of her head and held her close, “I’m sorry they brought up Hux.”

“It’s alright,” he said. It wasn’t though. Whenever he heard his name mentioned it was a very painful reminder of their reality. 

They said goodbye with a kiss and so he was on his way home.

As he walked he couldn’t help but wonder what it was all for. He knew she was going to get married to another and he would have to watch from afar. What was the point! She would be married and have a family and he would live in despair, knowing that he had the briefest taste of happiness only for it to be pulled away from him. He felt like an idiot. 

He was angry; angry at her, angry at himself. He was angry that she fell into that damned canal, he was angry that he gave into temptation that night and once he had tasted that forbidden fruit, couldn’t get enough. 

Did she even know what she wanted? She couldn’t have it both ways, lay with Ben but marry Hux. There was going to come a day when she would have to make her decision.

Ben knew it wouldn’t be him. The thought angered him, knowing that even the briefest moment of happiness wasn’t really his, to begin with.

The moment he got home he had worked himself into such a rage that he grabbed the first thing he could get a hold of and threw it across the room. It was a glass next to his decanter. As he looked at the broken shards he picked up another glass and hurled it at the wall, watching it break next to a painting of Orpheus and Eurydice that a friend had given him.

He looked at the grief-stricken face of Orpheus as he watched a shadowy figure wrap its arms around Eurydice, dragging her into the underworld.

“Is this how you felt?” He asked the portrait as he collapsed against the opposing wall, crying.

* * *

Ben had been behaving strangely all morning. He was rude to everybody and appeared to be avoiding Rey more than usual. Everybody was finding him unpleasant to be around. 

Even Rey was getting irritated with him.

At first, she thought it to be some sort of frustration; they both agreed that they needed to be careful and should keep the sex to a minimum, but it appeared to be more than that. Every time her hand brushed his, he would tense up.

As the day went on, Rey decided that she had finally had enough, so she grabbed her music and asked him if they could go over one of their duets. He agreed and they both made their way to one of the smaller practice rooms. They had many complicated duets and they would both need to practice them together, so nobody would see it as suspicious for them to be in a closed-off room together.

“Ben, what is going on?” She asked the moment the door was shut, “you have been rude to everybody, and whenever I touch you, you get all tense.”

“I’d rather not have this discussion,” he said, avoiding looking at her.

“Why not?”

“I don’t want to talk about it with _you_ right now.”

“With _me_? What’s that supposed to mean?” He made a move towards the door to try and leave, but Rey was furious with him and how he had been behaving all day, so she blocked his path, “Ben, you are not leaving until you tell me why everyone you come into contact with today is somehow beneath you. Whenever I try and speak to you you brush me off or you just ignore me. What has gotten into you?”

“You want to know?” he asked sardonically, “yesterday our little conversation with our parents reminded me that no matter how much we delude ourselves, you are still engaged to that ginger prick!” His words shocked her, “so I have to ask you; what do you want? Because you know that sooner or later you are going to have to make a choice and we both know damn well that I won’t be it!” He was close to her now, cornering her. He was being blunt and Rey hated it. She hated the reminder and she hated the honesty.

She knew exactly what she wanted, but he continued.

“I think we both know that when Hux flashes some fancy necklace that your head will be turned and all you’ll remember me for is a passing fancy.” Now Rey was furious.

“Do you think me so shallow?” She roared at him, “do you think that pretty things will turn my head?”

“Wasn’t that why you wanted to marry him in the first place? I know it wasn’t his shining personality.”

“You pompous ass!” She shouted at him, “you don’t know anything!”

“Then enlighten me!” He was shouting now, “or do you not know yourself?”

“Why are you doing this?” She asked. She could feel the tears coming but she refused to let him see her cry.

“Because I want to know that I didn’t waste my time on some indecisive orphan who’ll jump at the first sign of attention!”

His words cut deep, and in that moment she didn’t think, she just acted. As she slapped him the sound echoed around the room, taking both of them but surprise.

“I hate you,” she whispered, voice trembling as the tears streamed freely down her face. 

“I’m glad you’ve made your choice,” he whispered back. She expected him to gloat, but instead, his voice trembled, as if with remorse over his words.

That was when she turned and stormed out of the room.

She didn’t check to see if Ben was following her.

* * *

He had passed the point of no return.

He hoped to make her hate him so that there would be no qualms when she eventually married. He thought that it would be easier, somehow if she didn’t have to worry about hurting him. He thought her loathing would ease his heartbeat.

He never intended to wound her so. 

He deserved that slap.

He wished he could take it all back.

The moment she left, he hung his head in shame.

He was a monster.

* * *

The rest of the cast could tell that something had happened between them but they didn’t dare voice their suspicions. Once everyone had arrived at Poe’s there appeared to be an unspoken effort to keep Ben and Rey apart. Just because they were mad at each other doesn’t mean it has to ruin everyone else’s evening. 

The show was coming to a close and Poe was working on a new opera and they would have a bit of time off to rest before getting back to work.

Dinner had been good. Rey kept to herself and Ben kept to himself, both strategically seated as far away from each other as possible. After dinner, however, it was beyond tense as they were all seated in the drawing-room quietly nursing their drinks.

Everyone had broken off into smaller groups to chat, leaving just Ben and Rey as the odd ones out. Rey didn’t think that she could really contribute to the conversation on philosophy or the one on science.

“Right I know what to do,” Jessika declared, breaking away from hers and Rose's conversation, getting everyone’s attention, “Rose and I are having a disagreement on whether soulmates are real or not. I say they are real and Rose says they are not, and I need you all to help me prove me right.” 

“I would say they are,” said Mitaka, smiling at Jessika, “God made Eve for Adam, so why would he not extend the same courtesy for everyone else?”

“Because it isn’t always practical,” Poe said; there was a gravity in his voice and sincerity that Rey had never seen before, “sometimes you can love a person with every inch of your soul, but you both know that no matter how much you love each other, it can never be.”

“Well, I wouldn’t say that! I’m sure you can find a way somehow.” Mitaka said.

“Not always,” Poe said, giving a sad smile. Rey didn’t know much about Poe’s life outside of the opera house, and it appeared that he intended to keep it that way.

“Mr. Damarons right,” Ben said, “sometimes love isn’t always simple. Say soulmates were real and you found the one person to complete your soul but she was married to another.” Rey felt her heart stop at his words. “What can you do? If you love her you won’t dishonour her, but you have to spend every day of your life in agony knowing that the only woman you could ever love is with another.” He wasn’t looking at her, but she felt as if he had reached into her chest and ripped her heart out as it was still beating. How dare he speak those pretty words of love when he had destroyed her so, earlier that day!

Rey was simmering with rage but said nothing, instead choosing to study the wallpaper.

Rey didn’t hear the rest of the conversation, she was too angry and confused to care about what any of them had to say.

Every passing minute felt like agony, so when it came time to leave she all but ran to the door. Most of the guests lived nearby so they were walking back home. Rey said goodbye and made her way out the door and began to walk home. It was a bit of a distance, but she didn’t mind the walk.

She did mind when she noticed that Ben was also walking in the same direction. She picked up her pace, creating a greater distance between them.

“Are you avoiding me?” He called out. The moment he spoke, Rey felt a fresh wave of fury course through her.

“How dare you!” She cried out, stopping dead in her tracks and turning around to march up to him, “how dare you insult me today but turn around and speak such pretty words of love. Don’t think me such a child that I am incapable of understanding what you were talking about earlier.”

“I’m glad you caught onto my apology.”

“No Ben, that was not an apology!” She cried, they were now walking together, “that was cruel to pretend you love me, but toss me aside the same day.”

“I wasn't pretending! Against my better judgment, you have bewitched me, body and soul!” He shouted. They had both paused. His words shocked her, but differently to the last time. She hadn’t even realized that she had inadvertently walked with him to his house. His next words were softer, “you must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.”

“Well, you have a funny way of showing it!” That was when she decided to hurt him, the way he hurt her, “and I hope you know that after they way you have insulted and belittled me, you are the last man in the world that I could ever be prevailed upon to love!”

She saw that her words cut him deeply. He slowly began to walk towards her, making her back up until her back was against the wall. He regarded her for a moment before wrapping his arm around her waist and crashing his lips onto hers. 

Automatically she raised her hand to slap him, but she found instead of hurting him, when her palm met his cheek, she caressed it and pulled him close. His grip on her wasn't very firm and she could easily slip away; he was making a point and she didn’t even care that she was proving him right.

She was still furious with him, but she was revelling in his kiss.

“I hate you,” she said as he pulled away.

“You have a funny way of showing it.” He quipped. She felt a fresh wave of anger flood over her and before she knew it she had pressed her lips to his and he was opening the door to his home.

Once the door was closed they immediately began to remove each other’s clothes as hastily as possible. There was no tenderness to their kisses, they were both angry.

As they left a trail of clothes on their way to his bedroom, Rey felt a certain possessiveness take over her. Clearly Ben felt it as well as he kissed her like a starving man. He began to move his hand up her leg, reaching the apex of her thighs, tracing her lips and making her shudder. He only teased her, gently brushing her clit, making her want to beg for release. She wouldn’t beg though, she was too proud for that.

Once they reached his room they were both completely naked and kissing each other with a ferocity unseen in previous meetings. As Rey sat on the edge of the bed she saw Ben crouch down and place her legs on his shoulders. There was no teasing, no gentle kisses along the inside of her thighs. No, the moment he crouched down he placed his mouth over her cunt and began to lick with a single-minded determination.

As he licked and sucked, Rey found herself being overpowered by the sensation. There was nothing gentle about him as he ate her out, this was possessive, and Rey loved every moment of it. There were stars exploding behind her eyes when he added two of his fingers as he sucked her clit, occasionally flicking his tongue over it, making her moan.

She could feel the pressure building within her as she came closer and closer to the edge. Needing to grab something, she reached between her legs and gathered a fistful of Ben's hair, pulling it ever so slightly. He must have liked the feeling because he moaned into her, and she could feel it reverberate through her core. That only brought her closer to the edge, with his sucking and pumping she felt herself beginning to break.

She came with a scream as the orgasm sent shock waves coursing through her body, making her arch her back off of the bed. As he continued lapping at her, guiding her through the orgasm until she was pushing him away; she didn’t think that she would ever be able to move, instead she would spend the rest of her days in a haze of pleasure. She almost forgot that she was angry with him.

As he got up from his position, Rey could see a fire behind his eyes which were blown black with arousal. As she crawled back so that she was lying properly on the bed she could see him crawling over her, lust in his eyes and a look of hunger written all over his face. Usually, he would look at her with only tenderness, but now there was nothing but lust and possession in his eyes.

Rey found that she liked it.

He grabbed her legs and pushed them back so she was folded in half, and fully exposed to him; he stared for a moment, admiring his handiwork after giving her one of the greatest orgasms of her life, before leaning forward. As the head of his cock nudged her entrance and bumped her clit, she gave a little whimper, trying to encourage him. She had thought that she would be sore after the way he lay claim to her cunt, but instead, she found only a fresh new wave of need washing over her.

He didn’t need much encouragement after that, sheathing himself inside her in one quick motion. Rey would have been embarrassed by the noise she made had it not been drowned out by Ben's throaty moan. He gave her little time to adjust to the new position as almost immediately he began thrusting into her, rolling his hips more forcefully than she thought possible, to the point where even the bed was shaking.

Soon all that could be heard were their moans and grunts of pleasure, accompanied by the sound of skin slapping against skin. As he thrusted, he repeatedly hit that spot inside of her that made her eyes roll back inside her head. She could see that he was struggling to keep it together by the way he clenched his jaw and the muscles in his neck strained.

“T- ahh- touch yourself,” he groaned. Maybe he intended it to sound like a command, but in the moment, overcome by a mutual arousal and overwhelming pleasure, it sounded like he was pleading. 

Rey obliged, soon tipping herself over the edge, as a joint orgasm crashed over them. As Ben collapsed on top of her, Rey realized that he had spilled inside of her as she felt his spend dripping out of her.

He began to pepper kisses all over her face, as he held her close. Maybe it was the orgasm, but she found that her previous anger had all but melted away, leaving only a desire to be near him.

“I’m sorry Rey,” he said, “I’m sorry for how I treated you and I’m sorry for getting so carried away. I thought that if I made you hate me that I would find it easier for you to end this and save your own honour, but I took it too far and this evening was a weak form of an apology. I know you are not shallow and materialistic. love you, Rey, even if you hate me for all eternity. I wouldn’t blame you if you did.” There was moisture on his face and she couldn’t tell if it was sweat or tears; maybe both. 

“I don’t hate you,” she whispered as she listened to the rhythm of his heart, “I never thought that I could love another as completely and wholly as I love you. I was angry because you were cruel, but even after that I still love you.” 

He moved to kiss her, and for a moment, everything was perfect. She could worry about the future later; now there was just Rey and Ben, and that was all she needed.

“Ben,” she said after a moment of quiet as they lay facing each other, “you never actually answered the question earlier. Do you believe that soulmates are real?”

“If they are,” he whispered, as he pulled her close. His skin was glowing golden in the candlelight and flecks of amber were reflecting in his eyes as he lovingly gazed upon her, “I think that I have found mine in you.”

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so heres the link for the painting of Orpheus and Eurydice that ben owns: https://images.app.goo.gl/LACNoKAGiWBmwTFZ6


	9. Chapter 9

As always, Rey had to leave. They knew that she couldn’t remain in his bed all night, no matter how much he wanted her to. Ben had helped to pick up her clothes which had been strewn all over the path from his front door to the bedroom. 

As she left, he felt himself deflate. The euphoria of Rey saying she loved him, left his system and he was left with only guilt.

She loved him and he treated her so disgracefully, that were she to never forgive him, he would understand, and welcome her disgust as retribution for his words.

As he got into his nightgown and blew out the candle by the side of his bed he knew he had to apologize to her properly; not after sex, not when they’re in bed, and definitely not when they are fighting.

No, he had to show her he was sorry and that he truly did love her. 

He went to sleep that night accompanied by thoughts of Rey.

* * *

Mitaka had a reasonably straightforward life. Nothing unexpected really ever happened to him. He was born, began singing, performed at Luke Skywalker's opera house, was courting Jessika in the hopes of marriage, and one day he would die.

He was very comfortable with the simplicity and predictability, he didn’t like change and was easily stressed, so his life suited him very much.

Today, however, he was terrified beyond belief.

He had hoped that the day's routine would calm his nerves somewhat; if all else failed at least he could bury himself in routine. Unfortunately, his hopes were dashed when Ben made the decision to approach Rey.

“Miss Kanata,” he called, causing everyone to tense up in preparation for a fight. The day before they had just gone off to go over one of their duets and Rey left the room crying, whilst Ben was snapping at everyone, “may I have just a moment of your time?”

Rey appeared as equally confused as everybody else, furrowing her brow and glancing around suspiciously. “you may,” she said.

“My conduct yesterday, it was unforgivable and completely below me. My words were cruel and uncalled for and untrue, and I know how deeply they cut you. I wanted you to know that I have been riddled with guilt and regret over what I have said, and I wanted to let you know that I am sorry. I understand if you don’t forgive me, but you need to know how deeply I regret what I said to you.” At that, everyone was silent. 

Ben had never been known to apologize for anything. He was too proud and would never let anyone see a sign of weakness, and for him admitting he was wrong was the first sign. Everyone else knew this too, so for him to make an apology that was so public must have meant that he truly was sorry. 

It also begged the question as to what he had said to her. In that pregnant pause, Mitakas mind began to fill with possibilities of what he had said to her. Before he could think too much Rey spoke.

“Alright Mr. Solo,” she said evenly, “I accept.” 

Ben appeared to be just as shocked as everybody else by the strange theatrics unfolding in front of them. There was the most stubborn man alive apologizing to the most stubborn woman he had ever met, who proceeded to accept his apology.

As Ben walked away, and the tension eventually died down, he was reminded of the reason why he was so terrified.

Today would be the day he proposed to Jessika.

* * *

Ben was a very proud man, so publicly apologizing was not something he did very often, or willingly. One of the things he hated most in life was admitting he was wrong and being seen to back down.

In school, the boys constantly tormented him about his Turkish father. They would call his father a pirate and his mother a whore for marrying below her own status and outside of her country. For him, all he had was his pride.

That might have been the reason why he grew to resent his parents; he would constantly get into fights defending his family’s honour but his father was always off at sea and his mother practically lived at the opera and never had time for him. 

But with Rey, he didn’t mind apologizing and sacrificing his pride. He just wanted her to deem him worthy of her love.

After laying himself bare in front of his colleagues, the rest of the day continued as normal, although Mitaka seemed especially anxious. That supposed fear was soon gone not long after they had taken their bows at the end of the show. Instead, his friends' seemingly constant fear was replaced by a glowing smile.

* * *

The final day had arrived and everyone was a mix of emotions; none more so than Rey. She would miss Juliet- she had changed her life and for that she was grateful.

Rose said that everyone is sad to say goodbye to their first character, but for Rey, it was so much more than an attachment to a character. Like Juliet, she had met her most bitter rival and most treasured love.

_‘Perhaps Shakespeare was right’,_ she thought to herself, ‘ _my only love really had sprung from my only hate.’_

As she stepped on stage to meet Romeo for the final time, despite being lost to the scene, she still felt a wave of sadness. As they danced and kissed, he didn't kiss her as Romeo, he kissed her as Ben; squeezing her hip slightly and tracing his thumb over her cheekbones as he cupped her face. As he smiled at her while they broke away, Rey was suddenly glad for the music's colla voce, or else they would have both missed their cues.

In the end, as she wept over Ben's dead body, for once the tears were real; she was sad that this was the last time she would sing “thy lips are warm” as she cradled his face. All her sadness at seeing the end of the show had boiled over. She could only thank god that she wasn’t weeping to the point of her voice being compromised.

As they both lay dead on stage and the curtain fell, they could hear the thunderous applause from the audience. The rest of the cast poured on stage ready to take their bows, leaving them both very little time on their own, even if they were in full view of everyone from the wings.

“I love you,” Rey whispered as they stood up.

“I love you too,” he muttered as they got into position for their bows.

As the curtain rose, Rey could see every audience member had risen to their feet. They had always had a positive reaction, but the extent of the applause, and even cheering, was unheard of. For a brief moment, everyone on stage looked around, and at each other in amazement before taking their bows.

When they all joined, hand in hand, Rey could feel Ben give her the lightest squeeze, which she reciprocated. As the curtain dropped for the last time, everyone began congratulating each other and saying goodbye for the next week while Poe finishes his new opera. Rey, eager to slip away from everything, hastily made her way to her dressing room.

It wasn’t as though she didn’t like being around everyone, it was just that she was sad to say goodbye to the show and briefly wished to be alone. It wasn’t as though it would be her last opera, but she was sad to say goodbye to her first.

When she walked into her dressing room what she expected to see was her previous costumes laid out on the small chair in the corner of the room. She also expected to see her regular clothes draped over her main chair for her to easily pick up and put on with no hassle.

What she didn’t expect to see was the face of her fiancé sitting on the chair where she laid out her regular clothes, with her dress thrown gracelessly on the floor.

“Hello Rey,” he said after a moment of shocked silence, “I came back early from Milan last night and decided to see you. You were good.”

“Hello Armitage,” she said, still shocked by his presence in her dressing room so her response came across as being very wooden, “I’m glad you enjoyed it.” She paused, unsure of what to say to him. So much had changed since she had seen him last that she felt almost as if she was an entirely different person. For weeks he had only been an afterthought, but now he was standing in front of her, “how did you get in here?” She eventually asked.

“I told them I was your fiancé, and they let me right in.”

“Oh,” she said, once again falling into an uncomfortable silence. She still stood in the doorway when she heard the sound of someone approaching, making her whip her head around in the hope that she could look at anything that wasn’t the man in front of her. Turning her head she saw Ben was approaching her changing room. 

“Mr. Solo,” she said formally. Her changing room was at the end of the corridor, so for him to be approaching would be incredibly suspicious; she was hoping that their unspoken signal of formality would make him quickly think of a reason for him to be down there.

“Miss Kanata,” he said in an equally formal manner. As he approached and he was finally in view of Hux, Rey thought that her heart would beat out of her chest, or that she would faint, or she would throw up, or do anything to alert anyone to her extreme discomfort.

The moment Hux saw Ben, he reached his hand out and placed his hand in hers, squeezing it in a possessive manner. 

“Mr. Solo, what are you doing down here? I thought your dressing room was at the other end of the corridor?” Hux spat out. Ben's face was an expressionless mask, and if Rey didn’t know any better she would think him unbothered by the scene of a man keeping his fiancé close. But Rey knew better, she saw the way his fists clenched slightly, and the way his breathing evened to an almost unnatural state.

“I had just come down here to congratulate Rey on a wonderful show. I could have said it with everyone else but I feel like it would have meant more if I told her in private,” he turned to Rey as he said the next part, “I underestimated her and that was to my own detriment; she is one of the most talented singers I know, and a brilliant person to perform with.”

“Is that it?” Hux snapped.

“Yes.”

“Then I see no reason for you to stay Mr. Solo.”

“I wouldn’t wish to intrude,” Ben said curtly, before saying goodbye and leaving. It wasn’t until Hux let her go did Rey realize just how tightly he had been squeezing her hand.

“You should go, I have to change out of my costume,” Rey said, almost shoving Hux out of the door before closing it in his face, leaving him little time to argue.

The moment the door closed she heaved a sigh of relief. She knew that he would be coming back at some point but she hated being confronted with it. As well as reality hit her like a bucket of cold water, she also felt a seed of guilt beginning to flourish within her.

Hux didn’t deserve to be treated like this, if she could she would end it immediately. Unfortunately, she couldn’t; the engagement had witnessed and for her to end it would cause such a scandal that she knew that her reputation would be tarnished indefinitely. 

Knowing Hux, he would probably ruin her name further by accusing her of partaking in immoral behaviour.

_‘But you are, aren’t you?’_ A voice in her head taunted, _‘he wouldn’t exactly be wrong if he called you a whore and said you had an affair. It’s what you do every day, you deceive him and..’_

“Are you finished?” Hux said as he banged on the door, interrupting her thoughts.

“Just a moment!” She called back as she hastily got out of her costume and donned her pink floral dress.

* * *

The days since Hux’s arrival had been incredibly awkward.

He had come round for dinner one day and it had been a mostly silent affair, apart from Maz trying to prompt conversation, only to be met by one-word answers from both of them. 

“How was Milan?” Maz had asked after a period of silence.

“Good,” Hux said as he ate, letting the table fall into complete silence once again.

_‘Oh Rey, you’ve really done it this time haven’t you?’_ The voice which had grown louder these last few days taunted, _‘you think you have your life planned out before you, but you have to go and fall in love with another man. Someone’s going to get their heartbroken, and at this point, it’s anybody’s guess.’_

The only good thing that happened that day was the start of her cycle. It had been a day late and with Ben spilling inside of her, the last thing she needed was to be pregnant.

She counted down the days until they began work on Poe’s new show; then she could distract herself with something.

* * *

Ben had been miserable all week, shutting himself in his home and trying to drink himself into a stupor. Unfortunately, Bebe had taken it upon herself to hide the alcohol from him to stop that from happening. He spent most days imagining all the ways they could be rid of Hux; mysterious disappearance, an unfortunate boating accident, the pox. There were plenty of ways that Ben wished to be rid of his rival, but he knew that actually acting out any of these fantasies would probably send him straight to the gallows.

Aside from the violence, he would also imagine a life with Rey, it was futile, he knew that, but it didn’t stop him. He imagined waking up in the morning, sunlight streaming in, and holding her close to him, both still naked as the day they were born. He would kiss her and tell her he loves her while she smiles up at him like he was the only man in the universe. He would know what she was like in the morning, grumpy, or cheerful, or maybe a bit of both, depending on how she was woken up.

As he twiddled the ribbon she left in the spare room their first time he began to wonder what she liked for breakfast, would it be a grand affair, or something simple? What about dinner, what foods did she like in general? There was so much of the mundane that they didn’t know about each other. He knew her body; he knew she liked when he held her hand, he knew she liked when he kissed her breasts, he knew she liked it when he held her close when he thrust inside of her so she could wrap her legs around her waist. He knew her as well; she loved to be picked up, whenever he made a joke she would bite her lip slightly when she smiled, she could spend hours talking about all the books she read, how she wished she could embroider but never got the hang of it. He knew so much, but he felt like he also knew nothing.

Was it possible to know a person so intimately, but also feel as if you know nothing? Maybe that was a reflection on himself rather than her.

Either way, he imagined what it would be like to fall asleep with her in his arms and wake up with her still there the next morning.

Alas, it was an impossible dream. He never let himself imagine their lives beyond the morning; he knew waking up from it would be too painful. He didn’t imagine introducing her as Mrs. Rey Solo to the world, or the names of their children, or where they would live, or what they would look like. 

No, it was too painful.

* * *

Many a sleepless night had Poe spent on his latest work. When he heard that Bazine was leaving he decided to write something very general, something that any singer worth their salt would be able to do. That was why he chose Romeo and Juliet, it was something that anyone could do, and he could also get a feel for their new soprano.

Rey of course had completely defied all expectations and now that he knew her better, he felt comfortable writing something more tailored to her. This new role was perfect for Rey and it was something he had always wanted to write, but Bazine was just the wrong person, so it wasn’t until he met Rey that he realized that his dream would become reality.

As Poe wrote the final note, he felt a weight being lifted from his shoulders, knowing that he had completed it.

His magnum opus was ready to be shown to the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in music terms, colla voce means follow the voice. it essentially tells the orchestra and conductor to be lead by the singer for a brief period of time.
> 
> also I'm sorry for not telling you what the opera is going to be but i have hinted at it (but the hint is so obscure that the only way you would know that it is a hint is if you are me) so if anyone manages to figure out what it is before the next update i will be impressed.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everyone! sorry it took so long to update, I have midterms coming up so most of my time was taken up with that so I didn't have much time to write. the next update might take a while as well because there is a regional election coming up where I live at the end of October and ill be working at one of the polling stations so if chapter 11 takes a while I'm sorry but I just wanted to give you the heads up.

After a week of not seeing Rey, Ben thought that he was going to either go mad or forget her face entirely. He had become spoiled seeing her every day and holding her; even if it was only on stage or a brief moment when everyone’s eyes were averted, she was there.

The moment he walked in and saw Rey, he wanted to go up to her and kiss her, but he knew she probably wouldn’t appreciate that. Instead, he nodded his head in greeting in her direction before her attention was pulled away by Jessika. He tried not to make it obvious that he was watching, but he couldn’t help but notice their excited disposition and Rose pulling Jessika in to embrace her. It wasn’t long before his uncle was standing on the stage and getting everyone’s attention, breaking up the women’s joy.

“Welcome back, I hope you enjoyed some of the time off you had. Now before we go any further Mr. Mitaka approached me saying he needed to make an announcement.” At that, Ben Began to worry. Despite being a performer, Mitaka liked to keep to himself only really finding any confidence when he was on stage. To make an announcement like this must mean that there was something wrong. Why else would he make himself the center of attention?

“Don’t worry I’ll be brief,” he joked, clearly trembling as he stood up so everyone could see him, “I just wanted to announce the happy news that Miss Pava and I are engaged to be married,” almost before the words were out of his mouth the congratulations and cheers began flowing from everyone, Ben included. His concern was immediately replaced with an overwhelming sense of joy for his friend. Mitaka had been hopelessly in love with Jessika ever since she joined, and it was clear to everyone but him that the feeling was mutual.

As his friend sat down, and everyone began to quiet, Poe stepped up to announce the new opera. He had been surprisingly secretively regarding what they would be performing. Usually, he would give some hint or other, but with the exception of occasionally pulling people away to see how well their voices work for some parts, he told them nothing.

“I know I have been secretive, but when I tell you all what it is you will understand because this is something I have wanted to write for years but never really had the opportunity. My new opera is the story of Hades and Persephone,” the moment the name was announced all eyes turned to Ben. He was absolutely fuming.

After his very first performance, one particular critic decided to compare a twenty-one-year-old Ben Solo to Pluto, the god of the underworld. It had been a bit of a joke at the time but the image had stuck and despite his best efforts, it took years for the label to fade. Instead of naming Ben, they would just refer to him as ‘the dark lord of the night’ or ‘the king of shadows’ when writing reviews. After almost six years of peace, Poe had decided to bring that all up again.

“The opera itself is called Persephone and it follows her kidnapping and eventual love of the king of the underworld,” Poe went on to explain. Ben, feeling rather childish, decided to glare at Poe as he spoke in the hopes of scaring him a bit. He knew that people were sometimes intimidated by him, although he and Poe had known each other too long for that tactic to work.

As the music was handed out, Ben glanced over to Rey, who looked eager as ever to begin rehearsals, burying herself in the music the moment it reached her hand. As he watched, he realized why Poe waited; Rey was the perfect Persephone, she was warm and caring, but should not be mistaken as meek and demure, despite those qualities. He felt a small smile tug at his lips before turning back to the music in his hand.

His uncle began to tell everyone who they would be playing; Ben was of course Hades, Rey was Persephone and after that, he mostly tuned out the rest so he could read through the music.

As they began rehearsals Ben began to realize that Poe had him and Rey somewhat in mind when composing; in the beginning, Persephone despises Hades and is desperate to leave, while Hades finds her irritating and wishes she would stop yearning for her old life. As the opera goes on they both come to understand each other and when the time comes for Persephone to eat the pomegranate seeds, she does so willingly.

It was a different perspective of the story than Ben was used to; when he read it, it was always Hades who tricked her into staying. He found that he preferred this version, maybe because he was playing Hades, or maybe because he liked the idea of being chosen. Either way, despite being less than pleased initially, he found himself quite looking forward to performing.

Although he wouldn't let Poe have the satisfaction of hearing him say it out loud.

* * *

Coming back to the opera after a week away felt strange somehow. Maybe part of Rey didn’t think that this was all real so coming back made her realize that it was. The hardest part about being away was not seeing Ben; they had to be especially careful now that Hux was back so they couldn’t see each other during that time. When she saw Ben she felt the urge to run up to him and kiss him like a soldier returning home from war. Thankfully she managed to temper her impulse, instead directing a polite nod in his direction.

The only real change when coming back was Jessika and Mitaka becoming engaged. When he announced it to everyone, Rey felt her heart sink knowing that she would never have that, or at least not with the person she wanted it to be with. Maybe that was why she needed to be alone for a bit. She was happy for them, but almost as soon as she could, she ran to her dressing room to be alone, away from the questions about engaged life.

What could Rey tell her? _‘Well Miss Pava, I'm afraid I can't help you because I, ever the pragmatist, tied myself to the first man who wasn't repulsed by my lack of status or decision to live on a stage. I don't really know how to help you as you are marrying for love.’_ no, she couldn't do that. It was better to be alone. 

Her dressing room was much the same as the way she left it the week before. The costumes had been taken out and there was a small pile of letters on her vanity. Over time she had been accumulating more and more letters from “admirers” as her mother called them. The first letter she received she cried because it was so complementary; she knew that it wouldn’t be a good idea to read them all, lest it go to her head, but sometimes she liked to have a look.

As she looked at the three waiting for her she realized that quite soon she wouldn’t be able to keep them all as she had done previously. Soon her little chest in the corner would become full. She felt guilty about the prospect of discarding them, but she also knew that it would be impractical to keep them all.

Then she remembered that Ben probably had a similar problem and he could advise her. It would also be a good excuse for her to talk to him, hopefully in private. She had seen him enter his dressing room not too long ago so she hoped that he was still there.

Perhaps he also wished to be alone.

As she made her way down the empty hall she found herself walking as quietly as possible so she could hear if anyone was in their dressing rooms getting organized, or also seeking a moment of solitude. They had a half an hour break and most people chose to stay in the theatre during that time, but as it was the first day back Rey wondered if some may be going into dressing rooms to get themselves sorted for the rest of the run.

It was ridiculous, but for some reason, she felt nervous just knocking on his door. Her heart was beating out of her chest and she found that she was breathing more heavily than usual, along with a strange heat reaching her cheeks. 

As he opened the door and saw her, an initial expression of indifference changed into one of happiness.

“Miss Kanata,” he said lightly in his rich timbre that sent shivers through Rey, “can I help you?” He glanced around briefly, appearing to make sure that nobody else was nearby.

“It’s about the letters I have been receiving from audience members,” she said as evenly as she could, “they are beginning to accumulate and I don’t know what I should do. I thought that you might be able to help me.”

“Yes. I can show you what I do if you like. It’s easier than explaining,” while his words sounded innocent, Rey couldn’t help but feel a slight dampness growing between her legs.

“Yes, that sounds like a good idea,” Rey said, waking in as Ben gave the hallway a cursory glance to check for any eavesdroppers.

His dressing room was much the same as Reys, only it had the appearance of being more lived in; there was a couch that appeared worn at the edges from years of use, personal objects such as a clock and a blue glass eye hanging on the wall, similar to one she had seen in his home. As she turned to face Ben, she could see that he had already closed the door, affording the two of them a sliver of privacy.

Before she could even speak he was on her, crashing his lips into hers; kissing her like she was the last drop of water in a barren desert. She kissed him back with equal fervour, dragging her fingers through his hair. As they broke away Rey had almost forgotten the purpose of her impromptu visit.

“I missed you,” he said, pulling away.

“I missed you too.” She said breathlessly, “ although I really am here to ask about the letters,” 

“Oh I just dispose of them as you do with most letters,” he said nonchalantly, much to Rey's surprise. It must have shown on her face because he followed up his statement with, “you don’t throw your letters away?”

“Well, I don’t really get letters so I wouldn’t know. Nobody writes to me.”

“Well we’ll have to change that,” he said, pulling her close. Despite not being able to see his face, Rey could tell by the way his muscles tensed that he had had an idea, “I should send you letters of admiration! The letters can come to your dressing room and nobody would be any the wiser. That way, even on the days when we can barely speak to each other, we will still have some way to communicate.” Rey liked the idea, she hadn’t really thought about writing to him before because she worried that her mother would grow suspicious as to why she was receiving all these letters. But now, if he were to send them to the opera house, it would just be seen as one of many audience members who enjoyed the performance.

“I would love that,” Rey said, resting her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. They began to kiss again, only this time there was a shift in the air. Ben was holding her closer and she found herself moaning into his kisses and they claimed each other.

It wasn’t long before Rey found herself being backed up so that she was pressed against the wall as Ben's hands began to wander. They began their journey on her face, careful not to touch her hair and alert anyone to their activities, then they moved down to her chest, hovering over the swell of her breasts before moving to her waist and bum. As they broke away they both glanced at the clock, noting that they still had exactly twenty minutes before having to return to work.

As they looked back at each other, almost in a silent agreement, Ben began to lift her skirt. Rey had expected him to unbutton his trousers to free his clearly growing erection, but instead, his hands made their way to her dripping cunt, teasing as he lightly traced her folds.

Almost instinctively, Rey began to rub the outside of his trousers, as if she was reminding him of his growing hardness. Unexpectedly, before she could undo his trousers, he batted her hand away.

“Just you today,” he said, before plunging two fingers into her with ease. A small gasp escaped her lips as he began to move his hand, and his thumb gently massaged her clit. He quickly began to muffle her sighs and gasps with kisses as the speed of his fingers increased.

“You're going to have to be quiet,” he growled into her ear as the pressure on her clit increased, “can’t let everyone know what we’re doing.” Somehow his words managed to only increase her arousal, making her tighten around his fingers as he pumped.

“Ben I— _oh…_ ” She moaned, as he pressed light kisses along the column of her neck. 

“What did I say?” He asked, his voice deep and commanding. Under normal circumstances, Rey would have been furious at the chide, but when his fingers continually stroked that spot inside of her that made her toes curl, she didn’t care. If anything it only added to the building orgasm, bringing her closer to the edge.

Clearly Ben could tell she was getting closer as his movements sped up, making her eyes close and her mouth hung open in pleasure, as he whispered words of filth in her ear. Just at that moment, she felt the dam within her begin to break and she fought back the urge to scream as the orgasm flooded over her. Ben, determined to squeeze every ounce of pleasure out of her, kept going, guiding her down from her high.

As her breathing evened out, Ben removed his hand from between her legs, shining with the evidence of her orgasm. As they glanced at the clock Ben kissed her and whispered words of love.

That was something that was strange about Ben, here was a man who would take her with a passion, whispering filth in her ear, but after will hold her and tell her how much he loves her. She wasn’t going to act like she didn’t enjoy it, although she felt guilty about not doing anything for him. 

He didn’t appear to mind as he kissed her and sent her on her way before rejoining everyone in the theatre, albeit, on slightly wobbly legs.

* * *

Ben went back home in a much better mood than he thought he would be in that morning. Almost immediately, he got to his desk and took out his pens and paper and began to write. At school, he was teased for having what one schoolmaster called ‘a feminine hand’ as his mother had taught him how to write. His father could barely read and write in his mother tongue, never mind Italian, so that responsibility fell to his mother. 

For a moment he was at a loss as to what to say to her; conversation was easy enough but writing to her was difficult. He should really be at his piano practicing and getting ahead, not writing love letters, but at that moment he couldn’t find it within him to care.

He sat there in his shirt-sleeves with the buttons undone so his chest was slightly exposed, allowing the breeze from the open window to tickle his skin. As he sat at his desk, running his hands through his hair, he finally picked up his pen and began to write. He knew that he wasn’t exactly Shakespeare when it came to words, but he hoped the message would come across.

Once he was sure it was perfect, he sealed the letter and sent it to Rey, via the opera house. That way no suspicions would be roused by the sudden appearance of a love letter in her lap.

Or at least he hoped that she would think it a love letter and not the ramblings of a mad man, hopelessly in love.

* * *

Rey was in a good mood when she got home and there were two reasons for that; firstly, she was excited to begin Persephone (especially after Poe had told her that he had composed the role for her), and secondly, she was still bathing somewhat in the afterglow of Ben's ministrations. Her mother saw this but made no comment on her mood, instead deciding to finish mending a dress that had been torn somewhat at the bodice. 

Eventually, Maz did enquire as to the root of Rey's mood, “darling,” she said, keeping her eyes on the dress, “I know I shouldn’t question it, but you are in an unusually good mood today.”

“I am?” Rey said looking up from the piano as she practiced.

“Yes, you are.”

“I suppose I am,” Rey said cheerfully. She could see by the look on her mother’s face that she wanted to know why Rey was in such a good mood, but she chose to ignore it. 

Unfortunately, Rey's good mood was brought to an abrupt end with the sound of the doorbell. A short while later their housekeeper entered with an older woman with greying red hair.

When she walked in Rey only briefly glanced at her, before looking back at the music trying to figure out a particularly difficult turn. When Rey did lookup, however, she realized who had come to visit.

Hux’s mother.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the blue eye hanging up in Ben's dressing room is an evil eye and is supposed to ward off evil spirits.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everyone! I want to start off by saying how sorry I am that it took so long to post this chapter. University work ended up catching up with me as well as finishing off another fic I was working on that had been hanging over me for a while, so this one ended up taking a bit of a back seat, but I'm back now.
> 
> I also want to say that i think that the chapter count will be going up at some point, but i am leaving it at fifteen for now because chapter plans do end up changing and getting re-worked and it might end up remaining at fifteen after all, but I am just giving you the heads up.

As Mrs. Hux stood there, Rey felt all the colour drain from her face. For a brief moment, the three women were silent, unsure of what to say or do, mostly out of surprise. It wasn't until Maz took the initiative and welcomed her that the tension was lifted somewhat.

“It's good to see you,” Maz said as they both sat down after they greeted each other, “it's been too long.”

“Quite,” Mrs. Hux said in response, “I was making my way home from the cobblers getting the seam on my shoe fixed— I tried doing it myself but I was making a horrible mess of it and eventually I conceded— when I realized how close you both were and decided to say hello.”

“I’m glad you did!” Maz said, before glancing pointedly at Rey, who was making her way over to the couch from the piano after putting her music away, “my daughter sees hardly anyone outside of me, the staff and those at the opera house. She’s so busy that, if it weren’t for me telling her to go to bed, she would probably still be singing well into the night.” Rey could tell that she wouldn’t be doing much talking while Mrs. Hux was there.

She loved her mother, but she did have a habit of talking for her; there were many instances where Rey would spend an entire evening in silence, nodding along to the conversation. She meant no harm by it (it was a holdover from the days when Rey was a young child and couldn’t really participate in the adult’s conversation) but it could be quite frustrating. One time an obscure relative of a friend joined them for dinner and a fifteen-year-old Rey found herself rather taken with him; unfortunately, Maz had also enjoyed the man's conversion, leaving Rey mostly silent.

As the older women talked, and a dinner invitation was given and accepted, Rey's mind began to drift. Not to anything, in particular, just various topics being kept pointedly away from the one sitting on her couch.

“Oh Rey, I have to ask,” Mrs. Hux said, pulling Rey out of her trance, “what will be your new opera? If it’s anything like Romeo and Juliet I will have to make certain that I go and see you on opening night.” The praise made Rey blush. With Mrs. Hux, you always knew that when a compliment was given, it was given in earnest.

“We will be doing the story of Hades and Persephone,” Rey said which seemed to pique the interest of Mrs. Hux.

“Well, I think you’ll be a wonderful Persephone. She was always my favourite,” she said conspiratorially, making Rey smile, “I think I liked the idea of being whisked away from my family by a rich man who would take care of me.”

“Well, you certainly got to live your dream!” Maz said, making both of them laugh.

“My father was furious of course,” Mrs. Hux said humorously, “but he mellowed once I began to send him the money.”

By that point, Rey was thoroughly confused. She knew that Mrs. Hux was from Bergamo, but beyond that, she knew very little about her life before she married Mr. Brendol Hux. Clearly, her confusion was showing on her face, because the two older women shared a glance as if a silent agreement was passing between the two of them.

“She is going to be married and it is only women here,” Maz said, “she might as well know.” 

“Quite right,” Mrs. Hux said, before turning to Rey.

“What should I know?” Rey asked, uncomfortable with the shift in tone.

“Well you see, before I got married, I was a kitchen maid. I can see by the look on your face my son has never mentioned it.” Rey only shook her head in response, “I’m not surprised, it is a rather scandalous story. You see, when I was eighteen, I had been working for a wealthy merchant who happened to do business with my late husband. The staff were all told to stay as out of sight as possible and being a kitchen maid, it was unlikely I would ever lay eyes on him. That didn’t stop me from being curious, so one night when everyone was asleep, I went upstairs with light to his room. I planned on taking a quick glance and leaving, but the flame woke him up. We began talking, and from there, an affair started. It wasn’t long before I found myself with child, and Brendol, saving my honour, married me.”

From conversations in the past, Rey could get the sense that Mrs. Hux was not married when she conceived, but at no point was there even the suggestion that she had been a kitchen maid. However, despite the honesty, Rey couldn’t shake the feeling that something was being left out. Not by her words, but her demeanour suggested that there was far more to it. 

Rey decided not to bring it up, instead, she simply nodded and let the conversation move along to more mundane topics. 

* * *

Part of her felt guilty for not sharing the whole truth, but if she did, nobody would look at her the same way again. She wasn’t still that same eighteen-year-old, desperate to leave her family, with greater ambitions than sense.

_“Who are you?”_ Brendol had asked her, as the candlelight flickered.

_“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,”_ she said, terrified that now face to face with him, her whole plan would fall through. It was stupid in hindsight, just because he was a newly rich businessman didn’t mean that he would want to settle for a lowly kitchen maid. There were plenty of rich women whose families had fallen on hard times that he could marry.

_“Why are you here?”_ He asked.

_“We were told that we were supposed to keep away from you, but I got curious and wanted to see your face.”_

_“Well lower the candle and you may,”_ he said, his voice softer than before. She lowered the light and saw him looking back at her. There was a softness to his features that, despite his age of thirty-eight, she found rather appealing, _“I must say, if I am to be woken up in the night by a candle bearing stranger, I would not be opposed to seeing your face each time. Who are you?”_

From there she began to tell him the story concocted to garner the most sympathy. There was some truth to it; her father was poor, and his first love had been the bottle, but not to the extent to which she described it. She knew if she wanted his sympathy, she would have to paint her father as a man who drank the family earnings.

It was only natural that she should find herself in his bed. She didn’t want to remain in Bergamo her whole life, and she knew that she was destined for greater things than being a kitchen maid and daughter of a poor man. No, as she returned to his bed each night, she grew more certain that he was in need of an heir and wife. 

From what she had learnt about him, he was not so high in status that people would look too closely into her origins, and were they to marry, it would be accepted. 

That was why, when she did fall pregnant, she was sure that he would be bound by duty to marry her. When she was proven right, at first her father was furious with her, but soon forgave her for leaving for the bright lights of Venice when he saw the living Brendol would send them.

What Mrs. Hux felt most guilty about was the fact that she didn’t regret any of it. While she did not love her husband, she found herself content and comfortable with her life. The only thing she had regrets about was in regard to her son.

She loved him but realized that he had too much of her ambition and cunning. With a woman, those traits could be advantageous, but with a man, it could turn deadly.

At the end of it all, Brendol ultimately fell victim to the ambitions of both his wife and son.

* * *

_My love_

_I am unsure how to begin this. It’s odd, writing letters to you when I see you so often when I could speak to you. But that is not why I write. I write because I love you more passionately than I ever thought possible. I never thought that I could love another as much as I love you, but now I understand what consumed Romeo, what made Penelope wait and why Orpheus would walk through hellfire so he could gaze upon Eurydice once more._

_I know that with love letters one is supposed to talk about everything they love about the person they are sending it to but find myself unable to find the words. If I loved, you less I might be able to talk about it more._

_As you read this, you will probably think me mad, and perhaps that is true, I have never written a love letter in all my life and you will be the only person I shall write to. So, as I dream tonight, you will be there with me, as I hope to join you in your dreams, connecting our souls despite all the forces that may keep us apart._

_Yours,_

_Ben_

As Rey read the letter that had been placed on her vanity, she felt as though she would cry. She knew that she didn’t have much to compare it to, but to her, it was the most beautiful thing ever written. She knew that she had to keep it safe somewhere nobody could stumble upon it. As she searched her dressing room, she noticed the little chest she kept, which held her other letters. She decided to place it at the very bottom, beneath the others. That way if anyone were to go searching through, they would only see messages from audience members.

Knowing that she didn’t have much time, she quickly hid the letter and went back to rehearsals. She and Ben weren’t needed for the scene they were currently learning and therefore could sit out for a bit. As she went back into the theatre, she saw that Ben was seated alone in the audience, looking through his music. She would have thought that hearing the others practice would be distracting, but she assumed that after years of doing this he had learnt how to tune them out. 

Feeling bold she decided to sit next to him- something he didn’t even notice at first, being so absorbed with what he was doing. Rey chose not to disrupt him and wanted to see how long it would take him to realize that there was another person there. Eventually, he did look up and was incredibly surprised to see her.

“Miss Kanata!” He said.

“Ben,” Rey replied, smiling at him as his features relaxed, “I thought you looked lonely sitting here all by yourself.”

“Oh, I was just looking at the music. I’m afraid I didn’t get much done last night as I was busy attending to matters of the heart,” the small smile he gave her made her heart flutter. It was clear that Ben seemed to be almost averse to smiling in most circumstances, however, when Rey was near he would indulge her.

“And I’m sure that the recipient appreciated your beautiful words very much, and can’t wait to send her response,” she said, “although, you shouldn’t raise your hopes to see handwriting as beautiful as yours.”

“My mother taught me,” he said bashfully, looking down at his music to hide the blush that was growing on his face, “my father was away most of the time and can’t read so that responsibility fell to my mother. I used to get mocked mercilessly for my handwriting.”

“Why?” Rey said in shock.

“They thought I write like a woman, and to a group of young boys that was just another way to make my life a living hell,” something in his demeanour had changed and Rey fought every urge within her to reach out and comfort him, “I think that’s probably why I became a singer, it was escapism from everyday life. As I got older the taunts became more viscous and I was less inclined to control my temper. I was getting into fights almost daily, but when I sang, I could be somebody other than Ben Solo, the son of a Turkish smuggler.” That was something Rey could understand— wanting to escape.

“Hux was the worst,” he continued, clearly uncomfortable at the mention of her betrothed, “I think he wanted to distract from his own origins so he would make sure everybody knew about mine. I'm just glad that he only knew about my father.” there was a weight behind his words, shifting the tension from discomfort to an understanding that, despite any questions Rey had, he would not answer them. She wasn't sure why, but she had the feeling that this was neither the time nor place to get into the weeds of his family history.

“The girls at school weren’t particularly pleasant either,” Rey said before the silence grew any heavier, “I didn’t have any friends growing up, it was mostly just people my mother knew. I had one friend once, but her parents didn’t like the idea of a foundling befriending their daughter, so they banned her from speaking to me. I think my mother knew that fitting in would be hard for me so that’s why she pushed for your uncle to train me. I had a way to escape.” That was when Rey felt Ben's foot nudge hers. The smallest show of support, that nobody would notice, except for Rey. “when you're someone like me, if you're ordinary people won't see you as having any value, but if you have a talent then you are deserving of the luck you've had because you're special; it distracts people from the fact that I come from nothing… I’m nothing.”

“But not to me,” Ben interjected. Ben's eyes were full of tenderness and love as he looked at her as if he was also holding himself back from taking her hand. For now, their feet would suffice, but Rey desperately wanted to place her head on his shoulder and thread her fingers through his hair. He looked like he was going to continue speaking, but as he opened his mouth, he was abruptly cut off by his uncle beckoning them on stage.

Despite being one of the later scenes, Poe decided that they should learn it first as it is one of the most complicated musically. The scene itself is an introduction to the underworld where the souls of the dead yearn for their lives. Each soul sings a different story from the others, overlapping and interweaving each other in harmony.

If done correctly it will sound hauntingly beautiful, however, perfection was key. Because of that, Poe demanded that he be the one to guide everyone through that rehearsal.

Poe could be a perfectionist when it came to his music, and for the most part Luke was accommodating, such as at that moment, however, he wouldn’t let it get out of hand. Rey had heard that some months ago, Rose and Poe had been so testy with each other that she had shouted at him. However, it appeared after that incident, Poe made an effort to be more forgiving when a singer isn’t perfect the first time.

“I have to ask though,” Rey said as they got up, “how does a Turk end up with a name like Solo?”

“He changed it,” Ben explained as they walked down the aisle, “he worked with a lot of Italians so he decided to change it so he could fit in better. He had been at sea since he was twelve, and they all called him solo as a nickname and he didn't really know what it meant at the time.” they both began to chuckle at the image of a twelve-year-old Han choosing the name that he would eventually pass on to his son.

They ended up standing at the front of the group as they rehearsed, unable to speak much, but still close enough that Rey could occasionally glance at him. She hoped that nobody noticed, or thought it was odd that they were both speaking so amicably in public; despite his apology, they kept the illusion of grudging respect, lest anybody suspect something. 

It soon became clear that the cast was unable to fully execute Poe's full vision, Ben and Rey included, getting on everyone's nerves. In the end, to stop an organized attack on Poe, Luke told everyone to go away and work on the song individually, before they all moved on for the sake of their sanity. 

* * *

By the time he got home, Ben thought he would fall asleep on his feet. After the choral number, they began to get through songs at lightning speed, with very few opportunities to sit down and take a breath. 

He also had very few opportunities to speak to Rey, but they were still close enough for him to steal a glance every now and then. She had told him in passing that she would send the letters directly to his home as he lives alone, and nobody would grow suspicious. He decided to avoid also mentioning the fact that while Bebe would notice, she had known him long enough that she was past the point of wishing to enquire. 

He realized that he was too tired to be productive, so he decided to pick up a book and read instead. He stayed like that for some time when he heard a knock at the door. He instinctively called to Bebe telling her to bring them into his study where he was situated. He had assumed that it was probably his mother as she seemed to make a habit of arriving unannounced in his home. As he continued reading, he noticed two figures standing in the doorway. 

“Hello mother,” he said the moment he saw the figures, not even bothering looking up from the page.

“Sir, this is Mr. Damaron,” Bebe said. At that moment, Ben's head snapped up and saw the man standing there, appearing incredibly uncomfortable.

“Thank you, Bebe,” Ben said. As his housekeeper left, Ben found himself imagining every possible scenario as to why Poe would be here; his first thought was that something was wrong with either Finn or Rose, given the history of the four of them. 

For a moment they remained in tense silence, before Ben finally broke it, “why are you here?” He asked, curtly. The two men had never gotten along, but after what happened six months prior, Ben had found that all their interactions tended to focus around one particular event.

“I need to talk to you about a rather delicate matter,” Poe said, prompting Ben to get up and close the door immediately, affording them a semblance of privacy.

“Please tell me that this has nothing to do with Rose,” he implored.

“It has nothing to do with Rose,” Poe said, as Ben felt a surge of relief come over him.

“Oh, thank god…”

“It’s about Rey.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't worry, I also hate me for what I have done


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry again for the delay getting this chapter out, uni work is piling up and all my profs decided that November should be the month of deadlines.
> 
> a quick warning for this chapter, there is a bit of gay angst here. when I was writing this I didn't want Ben to be a homophobe but I was also trying to keep with the attitudes of the time, so to avoid any misinterpretation, Ben is not homophobic. I would like to also mention that the gay angst is also me just working through some of my own personal gay angst, especially Poe's last line.

“It’s about Rey,” Poe said firmly. 

It was as if the air had been sucked out of the room. His heart was beating so loud that Poe might have said something, but he couldn’t hear it. He knew that he had to say something. Anything. 

Frantically he tried to think of something to say, knowing that he couldn’t do what he used to do as a small child, which was run away (even though he desperately wanted to). At that moment, he remembered a strategy his father would employ: feign ignorance. 

“What about Rey?” He asked, trying to keep his voice even and demeanour as unfazed as possible. Unfortunately, Poe saw right through his charade.

“Don’t play the idiot with me, Solo,” Poe said dismissively, “We both know it doesn’t suit you.” Ben could only avert his eyes in shame as he felt his heartbeat out of his chest. 

He was terrified of what Poe knew. Did he see something? Did he overhear a conversation? As those questions repeated in his mind, Bens began to drift to Rey, and what this could mean for her. He knew that the consequences would be far greater for her were they to be discovered. 

“Ben I know how you feel about Rey,” Poe said, sending a fresh wave of terror crashing through him, “and I wanted to tell you that no matter where your, rather obvious feelings lie, you must never act on them.” At that Ben could only snort at the irony of Poe’s words. 

“You can’t really lecture me on _that_ now can you.” Ben shot back, not letting the relief he felt show on his face. He hadn't even realized how tightly he had been clenching his fists until he relaxed them and noticed his knuckles had turned white. 

Rather than take the bait Ben had laid out to change the topic, Poe continued, “We both know what the consequences for Rey would be if you ever made your feelings known. I understand that I am the last person who should be giving you this lecture, but the way I saw you looking at her today, I knew that your contempt is merely a cover.” 

“Why do you care?” Ben spat, “why does it matter to you how I feel about Rey?” 

“So, you are agreeing with me, that you don’t hate her.” It was a statement rather than a question. Ben knew that he had been backed into a corner and the only way he could escape was by being honest. 

The problem was the truth scared him. To utter the truth, he had to be vulnerable with another person who wasn't Rey, and he wasn't sure whether he had it in him to bear his soul. In doing so, he would expose not just himself, but possibly Rey as well and that was a risk that he couldn't take. He loved her too much to betray her hard-earned (and occasionally misplaced in his eyes) trust. 

Perhaps that was why he continued to deflect. 

Ben's next words were quieter but sharp as an assassins’ blade, “are you doing this so you have something you can hold over _me_?” Poe pursed his lips and averted his eyes from Ben, which was answer enough for him. “So that’s why you're doing this. You want to have something to hold over me. I just hope you know that I will never tell another soul, so this elaborate scheme to protect you and Finn is a complete waste of time.” 

“Perhaps I do,” Poe uttered as a shadow came across his face, darkening his expression, “but perhaps I want to keep you making the same mistake as me. It will only end in heartbreak and we both know that Hux is not likely to be as accommodating as Rose.” Ben snorted at that. Rose wasn't accommodating- she was a saint, and a far better person than they would ever be. 

Ben had been there when she found out. 

They had run into each other late one evening when Ben was walking out from the tailors and Rose was leaving a friend’s home. Ben was in an unusually good mood that day and instead of ignoring her and taking a tortuous route home just to avoid running into her, as he usually would, he decided to walk with her. Once they had arrived at her home, she invited him in for coffee, saying that her new husband and Poe were also there. Ben, not having grown tired of social interaction for the day, accepted her offer, surprising the tiny woman.

Looking back, Ben was grateful that he had also been there. Perhaps she would have preferred a woman to relate to her, but in that moment when they walked into the drawing-room and saw Finn and Poe in a lover's embrace, it didn't matter who he was. He had suspected Poe for some time, having never courted a woman or shown any interest, but Finn had only recently married Rose, and there had never been any indication of doubt.

As Ben stood there, feeling like a voyeur while he watched the heart of a good woman break, he could only be stunned when she turned to him and begged that he would keep what he saw a secret. What astonished him was how in that moment her first thought wasn't of herself, but of her husband, even though she had every right to think of herself and feel every bit betrayed. Ben had agreed, knowing that despite Napoleon's new laws, the consequences Finn and Poe would face were it to come out, was something he would not wish on his worst enemy. 

“Rose's kindness will never cease to amaze me,” Ben said to Poe, but also himself as well. Despite what she had seen, she forgave her husband; despite knowing that as long as Finn and Poe had their ‘gentlemen’s evenings’ there would always be three people in their marriage 

“And that's why I’m telling you that you should save yourself the heartbreak and not let any feelings you harbour for Rey fester and grow beyond your control the way Finn and I did,” Poe said with a mixture of warning and regret in his voice. Poe sat down in the small chair next to the door with slumped shoulders and a heavy head, while Ben remained standing stiff and unwilling to let his guard down. “I won't tell anyone else about this, and I know you won’t admit anything to me, but just know that you—” 

At that moment, Ben wasn’t sure what came over him. Perhaps it was his impulsiveness, it was a trait he and his father shared getting them both into trouble over the years. Ben had always been curious as a child and would ask questions without thinking them through, out of an impulsive desire to learn. But perhaps a small part of him didn’t wish to carry the burden of this secret alone anymore. 

Maybe that could explain why his next words were, “how do you know?” 

Poe’s head immediately shot up, and he appeared as though a bucket of cold water had been dumped on his head, waking him from a sleep-like sorrow. Ben on the other hand, once he realized what he had said, felt a dizziness come over him. For a brief moment, he thought he would be sick; despite all his efforts, he had just betrayed Rey's trust and revealed part of their secret. What was theirs and sacred was now known by another and Ben felt as if he had ruined it?

As regret coursed through his body, Ben felt the overwhelming urge to sit down. He couldn’t look at Poe, instead choosing to stare out the window looking over the street below where he saw two children playing. Somehow that one seemingly innocent scene brought a fresh wave of pain. 

“So, you admit it!” Poe cried out. Ben knew that there was no point in denying it so, as he nodded, watching the two children being ushered inside as a gentle rain began to fall, he felt as though the one thing that was precious to him had been ripped away. 

Poe must have been able to see the grief written on his face because his initial euphoria melted into a quiet understanding. 

“I knew,” he uttered as he sat back down, “when you apologized to her. You're stubborn as an ass and proud as a lion, but there you were pouring your heart out telling her how sorry you were. It certainly didn’t help that you did all but name her at my party when we had the discussion on soulmates.” Ben felt an ironic small smile tug at the corner of his mouth. Looking back, it should have been obvious from the moment he apologized in earshot of everyone, especially after what he said at Poe’s dinner party. “As I said earlier, it was only confirmed when I saw the way you were looking at her today. It’s the same way I look at Finn.” As he finished speaking, his voice cracked slightly, and he averted his eyes.

They sat there in quiet understanding for some time— Ben staring out the window, watching the raid drops cling to the glass as they slid down, racing one another, whereas Poe hung his head, studying his shoes. In that silence, Ben found himself confronted with the fact that he and Poe shared more in common than he would like to admit.

“We are more alike than I think either of us would like to admit,” Ben murmured, glancing over to Poe who only smiled sadly.

“There is one key difference though,” Poe said, “you have hope. I’m not saying to act on it, but don’t squander it, Ben.” And with that, he silently got up and made his way to leave. 

As they locked eyes one more time, they nodded at each other in understanding before he made his exit.

* * *

The next day at the opera Ben had very few opportunities to speak to Rey, and in all honesty, he was quite relieved; after the previous evening, he was worried that looking at her would raise suspicions. It certainly didn’t help, however, that she looked even more tempting than usual, in a light blue dress that appeared to be cut lower than usual so more of her breasts were on display. Matters were made only worse when a large intake of breath was necessitated for particular notes, meaning that briefly, her breasts were more noticeable than before. Ben concluded that she had specifically decided to torture him that day.

Eventually, there was a slight lull and Ben managed to find a convenient point where he and Rey could go and rehearse one of their duets together. After having to restrain himself more than usual, the moment the door was closed he all but jumped on her, holding her close and kissing her. Despite the initial shock at the speed of Ben's movements, Rey quickly fell into step, letting herself melt into his arms, kissing him back with fervour. 

“Hello,” he whispered breathlessly, as he pressed his forehead against hers. 

“Hello.” 

“I missed you.” 

“I missed you too,” she said before she chastised lightly, “but we do really need to work on this duet, I can’t hear the melody in my head and as much as I would like to spend all my time kissing you, we do need to practice.” Ben felt himself turn red, as he was reminded of the time not too long ago when they spent all their time in the practice room kissing and describing all the sinful things they would do to each other; although the last one was mostly Ben. 

As he over-exaggerated the role of his eyes, he opened the music and began to practice. It wasn’t until Rey sang the words, _I hate you_ did Ben remember the previous evening. 

“Rey,” he said after some time, during a moment of quiet as she studied one particular phrase that she couldn’t get her head around, “I was thinking that yesterday we might have appeared too friendly and we obviously don’t want to raise any suspicions…” 

“Would you like me to shout at you?” She asked, sounding almost bored as she studied the music, bending over the piano, bringing her chest close to his face. “Or would you like me to storm out in a huff?” His original intention was to have her tell Rose that he was a pompous ass and let the gossip do the rest of the work, but he supposed that explicit anger worked in their favour as well. 

“Well if you can find anything to shout at me for you are welcome to,” he joked. 

“I don’t think I’ll have much searching to do,” she quipped with a flirtatious edge to her voice. 

“And why is that?” Ben queried, trying his best to look at her face and not her cleavage.

“For starters, you're talking to my breasts,” Ben immediately snapped his eyes up to hers, trying not to look too guilty, “and secondly, your hand was on my back but has been drifting lower and lower…” He hadn’t even noticed that his hand had ended up on her rear until she mentioned it, “so I think that a lady would have much to be perturbed about.” Instead of removing his hand, however, Ben took his opportunity and gave her a quick squeeze, prompting Rey to lightly swat his arm in indignation.

“Well judging by the time, we will be needed soon, so Miss Kanata, I hope you can hold onto your anger.”

“Well Mr. Solo, I believe I can,” and with that, she turned on her heel and marched out of the room in a huff. 

Ben did all he could to stop himself from laughing as he followed her.

* * *

If there was one thing that Rose didn’t like, it was conflict, and in her eyes, a sustained conflict was the worst of all. Much to her dismay, every time she stepped through the doors of the opera house, she felt like she was walking into a war zone. 

Rey and Ben, no matter how hard they tried, fought at every turn. Even after Ben's very public apology when Rose had held out hope that they would begin to get along, they still wound up bickering. That very day, Rey had left the practice room in a huff, immediately going to Rose to grumble about it. 

As she sat in bed, she found herself wondering if there was anything, _she_ could do about it. She cared about both of them, so their petty feud was beginning to grate on her nerves. 

That was when she had an idea. 

“Finn,” she said, getting her husband’s attention as he got dressed for bed, “can you invite Ben to dinner some time?” When she spoke, her husband paused what he was doing and slowly turned to face her, with confusion written all over his face. 

“What are you planning now?” He sighed, clearly having figured out by the way she asked the question that she was scheming. 

“I have had enough of this rivalry between him and Rey, so I was hoping that you could invite him over for dinner while I ask Rey. If we can force them to get along hopefully it will make their lives a little easier.” 

“And yours?” Finn countered. 

“Well I won’t have to calm Rey down all the time, so I see it as an extra benefit,” Rose replied cheerfully. Although he wasn’t looking directly at her, she could practically hear his eyes roll at her meddling. 

“I’ll do it,” he conceded as he crawled into bed, “but if your plan ends up failing, don’t say you weren’t warned.” He went to blow out the candle by his side of the bed but was stopped when Rose spoke up.

“When was I warned?” 

“Just now.” And with that, he blew out the candle, shrouding the room in darkness. 

* * *

Rey had to admit, she was a little surprised by Rose's sudden invite to come for dinner.

In one moment of downtime, Rose approached her and asked if she would like to come over. Rey of course, accepted thinking nothing of it, until she saw her smirking. Her suspicions only grew when she and Finn appeared to be having a silent conversation across the theatre after Rey accepted. 

As Rey walked through the narrow streets, and over the bridges, she couldn’t help but think back to the night she first visited Rose. Obviously, Rey remembered that night for more than just the food and conversation, but she found herself feeling oddly nostalgic. She paused briefly on one of the bridges, looking out over the water, watching the gondolas drift beneath her, as the sunset beyond the horizon.

It would have been quite a lovely scene had it not been for the storm clouds overhead that had been threatening to break for days. It had rained briefly on Tuesday, but not enough for the sun to peek through the grey above. For days Luke had been telling everyone that if there was a lightning storm they should stay home for their safety and not risk getting struck down. While they all appreciated the sentiment, they could see through the fact that Luke was getting on in years and probably wanted an excuse to have a break. 

Rey took one last glance at the scene before her, and the threatening clouds above before moving along. By the time she found herself outside Rose's door, the clouds above had begun to darken, and Rey still couldn't put aside the feeling that something was amiss. She took a quick glance around her before tentatively knocking on the door. Almost before her knuckles had left the wood, the door opened, and she was greeted with the smiling face of Rose.

“Oh good, everyone’s here!” Rose said as Rey walked in, giving her pause. As they made their way into the drawing-room, Rey could see the broad frame of a man with thick dark hair, talking to Finn. She already knew who it was; how could she not know it was him? She had run her fingers through that hair more times than she could count. She knew that he groaned every time she dragged her nails lightly through his scalp when they kissed. She knew every part of him, and here he was, sitting on the couch in her friends’ home, invited to the same dinner as her.

When he turned around, she saw a flurry of emotions cross his face, but the lasting one was the shock and pure disbelief that he would also be there.

_‘Since when was he friends with Finn and Rose? I've never even seen them speak to each other in any social capacity.’_ Rey thought to herself. Clearly Ben was thinking similar thoughts as they regarded each other in stunned silence.

“Before either of you say anything,” Rose announced, breaking the silence, “I invited you both of you but didn't say anything because if you knew that either of you would be here you would probably find a reason to stay at home.” Rey couldn't fault her logic, although she may have unwittingly handed the both of them an opportunity on a silver platter.

Picking up on the tension, Finn managed to drag some form of conversation out of the both of them, desperately trying to find something, besides music that they had in common. In public, the both of them were polar opposites, with few shared interests, but in private they found that they could spend hours talking about books, politics and all the ways Ben could make her scream. Unfortunately, _that_ was not a particularly acceptable topic of conversation for a friendly get together. Eventually they settled on a relatively safe topic: the weather, but Rey had a bad feeling that it was going to be an exceptionally long evening.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a few things:  
> no, Rey will not find out about the relationship between Finn and Poe. I think we all know that she would be accepting, but given the time period the fewer people who know the safer they would be.
> 
> the Napoleonic code legalized a lot of things that were previously considered taboo, like homosexuality but given the speed which Italian lawmakers went back on it after Napoleon left Italy I think that it is safe to assume that this was not a universally welcomed position that the French emperor took.
> 
> and on a more cheerful note, next chapter will be pure fluff.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM BACK!!!! sorry about the delay guys, school has been a lot at the moment and I've been struggling to keep up with it so writing kind of had to fall onto the back burner. I will be honest about this chapter, it was born out of a pure desire for fluff and then about halfway through I got horny so I had to write it. once again for this chapter, don't use pulling out as a method of contraception, it doesn't work, but for the purposes of this fic, it has to so we'll just assume that they are continually lucky.
> 
> and in case anyone was worrying, nobody is going to walk in on them or spot them in this chapter. others... you'll have to wait and see.
> 
> also, I will defiantly be bumping up the chapter count but as of now, it is staying at 15.

In all honesty, Ben wasn't entirely surprised that Rose would get fed up with the ongoing ‘feud’ between him and Rey. What did surprise him, was the lengths she would go to, to try and bring an end to it. It was only natural that it would happen at a time when Poe had realized Ben's feelings and, to prevent anyone else from coming to the same conclusion, he and Rey had both agreed to start ‘fighting’ more. 

Thankfully, dinner was a mostly silent affair, with everyone focusing on the food in front of them rather than the people around them. For most of the evening, they had stuck to relatively safe topics that wouldn’t start a fight, but even those safe topics were fraught with tension. Speaking to Rey on her own was so easy, so natural, but with other people scrutinizing them it was suffocating and he felt like he couldn’t open his mouth without accidentally revealing something.

The comfortable silence soon ended, however, when Rose decided to speak up, “I was just wondering,” she said as they ate, “why the two of you didn’t meet sooner? I know Mr. Solo is friends with your mother, so I think it’s curious that your paths have never crossed.” She made a fair point, it would only be natural to assume that two friends would introduce their children to each other. Both he and Rey sat there with bemused looks on their faces when Ben realized why.

“Around the time Maz had taken Rey into her care, my father was spending more time at sea and I was busy training with my uncle, and that's not to mention the fact that I am a decade older.” Of course, the unspoken truth was also that he was getting into fights, and every time that happened his mother banned him from going anywhere that wasn’t home or the opera house, “we did meet once briefly, but she didn’t spend much time speaking to my father and me. She was studying in her room I think.” As he looked up across the table he could see that Rey was blushing somewhat.

“Yes, I remember,” she said as the blush spread across her face, “although I wasn’t studying. My mother made me stay in my room because a girl at school had called me a whores daughter, so I cracked a slate over her head.” Ben was almost certain that in the silence that followed Rey's revelation, it was possible to hear a pin drop.

The next thing Ben knew, his shock turned into laughter. Perhaps it was the unexpected twist to a seemingly innocent tale or the fact that Ben could picture Rey breaking a slate over the head of some girl, but either way, Ben's laughter was almost uncontrollable. Rey appeared rather miffed by his reaction and Ben desperately didn’t want to offend her, but he found himself unable to stop.

“And what, Mr. Solo, is so funny about that?” Rey asked, staring him down. After glancing at Rose and Finn he could tell they were gearing up for a fight.

“Well, Miss Kanata,” he said once he had calmed down somewhat, “it’s just that I didn’t think you had it in you to do something like that. I know you can get angry but being physically aggressive is something completely different.” She only stared him down and Ben began to fear that he had genuinely upset her.

“I’ll have you know Mr. Solo, that I can be incredibly _aggressive_ ,” while the way she spoke sounded like a threat, at the same time, Ben felt a foot glide up his leg. He looked at her again and saw that her eyes had darkened while her foot moved. He kept his face impassive, as her words shifted from a threat to a promise, causing a flood of arousal to course through Ben's body.

“I don’t doubt it,” he responded, and was it his imagination, or did her breathing hitch ever so slightly? Perhaps it was the wine, or maybe the candlelight, illuminating Rey's face in the most brilliant golden hue, but Ben found Rey had never appeared to be more beautiful than at that moment. All he could think about was leaving with her.

Thankfully before Ben found himself with a full-blown erection, Finn managed to retrieve the conversation, shifting it back to the weather.

“That reminds me,” Rey said, still keeping physical contact with Ben, “I should probably leave earlier than I would like, so I can hopefully avoid getting caught in any incoming storm we might have. On my walk over it looked like it would rain.”

“I will walk you home, Miss Kanata, it’s dark outside and not safe for a woman to walk alone at night.” That was partly true, he did want to keep Rey safe, but he did also plan on them taking a detour to his house. Rey simply nodded in response allowing them to continue the rest of their meal in silence.

* * *

When it came time for Rey to leave she had to do everything in her power not to beam from ear to ear. Despite the awkward tension, Rey found that she had enjoyed herself, especially at dinner as she watched Ben try not to choke on his food. 

As she and Ben prepared themselves to leave, they regarded each other mostly in silence, letting only the anticipation of what was to come, hang in the air. She couldn't help but notice how Ben studied her fingers as she laced up her Spencer Jacket as if calculating the most efficient way to remove it later.

Once they had said goodbye, and they were out of sight, did Rey finally feel as if she could relax. Silently, she wove her arm through Bens as they walked, resting her head on his shoulder and allowing the dark of the night to provide them with the anonymity that they needed. They didn't need to talk, just being around each other was all they needed as they strolled through the narrow and winding streets of Venice. Occasionally she would glance up at the man she was walking with, admiring how the dim street lights lit up his face, transforming his hard features into something soft and gentle. When he would glance down at her, he would gaze into her eyes and smile. When he did that, Rey felt as if that was all she would ever need to be happy.

They were drawing closer to where Ben lived when Rey felt the first drop. She ignored it at first, but one was followed by another, and before she knew it the heavens had opened and it had begun to pour down upon both of them. They quickly glanced at each other before breaking out in a run as the rain grew heavier. By the time they had reached Ben’s door, they heard the first clap of thunder, hurrying him along to open it up.

It didn't take long once they were safe inside before Ben was kissing her, slowly and softly. She found that she wasn't prepared for the tenderness which Ben showed her, as she found herself melting into his arms, using his body as support. All the passion from earlier had melted away into only an ember, yet somehow that felt more overpowering than the raging inferno. As they broke away, another clap of thunder could be heard, shortly followed by a flash of lightning.

“I think you might be here for a while,” Ben said, as a grin spread across his face.

“I think I might,” Rey agreed, matching his smile. He took her hand, leading her upstairs to his bedroom where a fire was roaring and his nightclothes had been set out in anticipation of his late return. She noticed that on his bedside table there were two pieces of paper propped up, one in the form of an envelope and the other as a single piece, folded in half. Ben followed her gaze and picked them up, reading the small one, before holding the larger one up, allowing her to have a good look at what it said on the front. That was when she recognized her handwriting. 

“I,” he said, his voice husky as he approached her, wrapping his arm around her waist and holding up the letter, “will be reading this later.” that was when he slanted his mouth over hers and pulled her into a searing kiss, “for now, I want to enjoy having you all to myself.” Rey couldn’t help the giggle that escaped her lips.

“What was in the other letter?” Rey asked, curiosity getting the better of her before the evening could progress any further.

“Oh, it was just my housekeeper, Bebe saying that if a storm breaks tonight I may have to be self-sufficient while she, and the other staff, are stuck at home.” A sudden thrill coursed through Rey as he said that. Just the knowledge that they could have a whole night together uninterrupted was so new and thrilling that she could almost ignore the pang of yearning that lay just below the surface.

As Ben kissed her again, it seemed as though the comfort of privacy managed to reach the urgency at which he kissed her. His movements were slow and deliberate, as though there was a kind of meaning behind every kiss; like each one was a different way of saying _I love you._ As he moved along from her mouth down the column of her neck, he began to reach for the clasps on her jacket, peeling it off her before reaching behind to the buttons on the back of her dress. Slowly but surely, he began to unbutton her as she untucked his shirt and began to unclasp his trousers.

By the time all their clothing had been shed, and they were both standing by the roaring fire, Ben began to remove the pins in her hair, letting it cascade down her back. He then began to brush out the last of the curls in her hair with his fingers.

“I love you,” he whispered, as she returned the favour, running her fingers through his dark, wavy hair.

“I love you too,” she whispered back, letting the sound of the crackling fire and the rain hammering at the window, fill the room. Once again Ben began to kiss her, moving his lips down her neck and across her chest, until he was hunched over when Rey had an idea.

“Ben,” she began with slight trepidation, unsure of how to phrase what she was about to say, “that thing that you do to me...with your tongue…”

“Lick you until you scream?” He offered mischievously, as he worked his way back up to her shoulders.

“Yes. I-I want to do that to you,” all of a sudden, he stopped his trail of kisses along her shoulder and Rey was worried that she had said something wrong. It was only when she felt his erection twitch against her abdomen that she felt more at ease.

“Are you sure?” He asked, clearly trying to keep the excitement out of his voice, as if he was worried about frightening her.

“Yes.”

“Alright, where do you want me?” Rey looked around before spotting the wooden armchair that was covered in an ornate emerald fabric by the fire. It looked low enough that she wouldn’t be straining herself, and the rug it sat on looked soft enough so as not to hurt her knees. 

As she guided him to where she wanted him to go, she found herself running over everything he did to her, hoping that it would work just as well on him.

For a moment she just stared at it, as she crouched between his legs before she finally made the leap and licked a long stripe from the base to the head. She did it a few more times before licking the top, making him throw his head back and groan. That was when she grabbed the base and lowered her mouth over him, trying to see how far she could go, before she started bobbing her head up and down, and sucking.

As she moved she suddenly understood why Ben enjoyed doing this to her, knowing that she was responsible for every groan he made. She wasn't perfect at it— occasionally scraping her teeth along his shaft by accident making him hiss— but judging by the way he would say her name and grip her hair, she thought that she was doing alright.

“Rey,” he moaned, trying to move her head, “I-I’m going to…” he never finished the sentence. Rey knew why he was trying to move her head away, but she was determined to see him through. 

As he came, his eyes all but rolled into the back of his head as she pressed her tongue against his slit and continued licking. Once he was spent, she finally pulled her head away and Ben immediately grabbed a handkerchief that lay close by in his discarded clothes for her to spit into.

The moment she was done, he grabbed her and hauled her into his lap, planting kisses all over her face and chest. Once again, it was only them, the hearth and the storm raging outside of the window. Rey felt quite content to remain sitting on his lap like this, letting him utter words of endearment into the crook of her neck while she ran her fingers through his silky hair.

“Thank you,” he said as he gazed into her eyes with wonder, “you— Rey— I,” she could see that he was at a loss for words, so to save him from stumbling over everything he said, she kissed him, letting him taste himself on her tongue.

“I love you,” she said as she pulled away, letting the pads of her fingers trace his jaw. 

Suddenly he tightened his grip on his waist and wrapped his arm under her legs, stood up, and carried her over to his bed. Perhaps it was the suddenness of his actions, but Rey found herself giggling through the short journey.

* * *

Ben found it odd, not having to rush; in the past, they would move so quickly that they barely had a chance to just enjoy each other's presence, but now as the two of them lay in bed, Ben found himself content to remain like this all night. When Rey suggested using her mouth on him, at first he thought that he was imagining it, not believing that any woman would want to do such a thing, but the moment she wrapped her pink lips around the head of his cock, he knew that it was real. In all honesty, he was surprised that he could even walk back to the bed after that, especially with Rey in his arms. They hadn’t even had sex yet, but Rey appeared to be content to stay there with Ben. 

“Do you want to…” Ben began before being cut off by Rey.

“In a bit,” she said, “we have plenty of time.” she looked up at him, and even she appeared to find the concept of having ‘time’ alien to her. He kissed the top of her head and proceeded to wrap her in his arms even tighter.

Eventually, his cock began to stir back to life, clearly ready for more than just Rey's mouth. At first, he was worried that she would see him as being too eager, but as it grew harder and began to poke her thigh, she appeared more aroused than perturbed.

“I think I’m ready now,” she said, mischief lacing every word as she wriggled her hips, grinding against his cock.

Ben didn’t need any more encouragement before he flipped her onto her back and began kissing her face, making her shriek with delight. He slowly moved his hand down her body to her lips, pressing in ever so slightly just to see how wet she was and whether or not he should return the favour. He was surprised to find just how ready she was for him.

When he looked up at her, she was staring at him all doe-eyed and even more tempting than he ever thought possible. After giving up any semblance of control he lined himself up with her entrance, coating his length with her arousal.

“ _Ben,”_ she whined as he teased her.

“Patience my love,” he muttered into her ear before sliding inside of her. She was so wet that he met little resistance as he sheathed himself inside of her, making her gasp as he bottomed out.

He stayed like that for a moment, just sitting inside of her, not moving so he could look at her, before pulling out and thrusting back in, sending a jolt through her body, and making her yelp in surprise. He kept going like that, with the same force, making the bed creak and groan under the joint noises of the storm outside and their moans. Now and then he could feel her squeeze him as he rocked into her, making the edge of his vision turn white. 

Soon his movements sped up and he realized that he wouldn’t last long; not with her gasping, squeezing, and hips that were now meeting his thrusts with equal fervour. She seemed to read his thoughts as her hand drifted between their bodies and began to rub tight circles against the pearl of nerves at the top of her thighs. It wasn't long after that, that her spine arched off the bed and he began to feel her walls flutter around him, bringing him to the edge. Thankfully, he still had enough sense about him to pull out just in time, spilling on the bed between her legs.

In one swift movement, he rolled off of her and gathered her in his arms, so that she was almost lying atop his chest, still covered in sweat, trying to catch her breath. He always enjoyed the moments after, when they could lie together in perfect silence, with only their heartbeats to accompany them. As she lay there he began to dot kisses over the top of her head as he stroked her hair.

“I don't know if Rey is my real name,” she said after a while of laying there in silence, “I'm not sure if my parents ever called me that, or if I came up with it myself. I know sometimes parents don't bother naming their children until they turn five because so many die before then, but I don't think that my parents were trying to save themselves from heartbreak. They left me to go drinking and it was only later when I found that it had killed them. I don’t know what their names were or what they looked like. The only thing that I can remember was being hungry.” Ben was surprised to hear how candidly Rey spoke about her parents and her past. He knew that in the past she had always been uncomfortable talking about them, and from the little bits she had told him over time, he could understand why, but this just broke his heart, “I don't even know how old I am. I think I was five when my mother took me in, but I’m not sure. One of our maids told me once that when she was born, her grandmother scratched the date on the back of a wardrobe, and ever since then, I’ve wondered if there’s a wardrobe somewhere that has my birthday on it.” Subconsciously, Ben found his hand drifting towards hers as she spoke, his thumb gently tracing her knuckles.

Ben supposed that it was his turn to open up to her, now she had bared her soul. He knew that he couldn’t relate to her childhood, having grown up in privilege. Ben was at a loss as to what to say to her until he remembered something he had said a few days before. 

“My grandfather,” he began, “was not a good man. Maybe he was in the beginning, but it didn’t last long. He was a deacon at the time when he met my grandmother, Padme Amidala,” there was a hint of understanding that crossed her face, “His mother had sent him into the church because she thought that he would have a better life there than with her, but I don’t think he was ever suited for it. My grandmother was the niece of the Doge and loved by all; had every rich man clambering after her, but when she met my grandfather, she knew that she couldn’t love anybody else.” The story he had been told was that she had heard him singing in the chapel when he thought he was alone, and she fell for the siren song, “they began their affair in secret and after a while, she found herself pregnant with my mother and uncle. They were planning on running away, but my grandmother was caught by her father and the two of them were kept away from each other.”

“Is that it?” Rey asked after Ben had paused, trying to think of the words to say.

“No, no, there’s more,” he assured her, “for the whole time they were kept away from each other they had no way of contact and one of the men that my grandfather had gotten himself involved with began to drop poison in his ear. Eventually, my grandparents were reunited, but by that point, it was too late, a kind of madness had taken form in my grandfather’s mind and when he saw her again after months away from her, instead of welcoming her in a lovers embrace, he wrapped his hands around her throat and nearly killed her. After that, he ran away, jumped on a ship and took to the seas before he could be arrested. That was the day Anakin Skywalker died.” He took a breath, steeling himself for what he was going to say next, “from then on, he was known as the pirate Darth Vader. Somehow, word had spread that my grandmother had died in childbirth along with her children so he never returned. In reality, she lived for another three years, and after she died my mother and uncle were separated so that Vader wouldn’t find them.”

He decided to end the story there; he didn’t want to have to go into how once Vader had discovered that his children were alive he went to his mothers home and burned it to the ground, killing her adoptive parents while she was forced to watch as they screamed for their lives. He didn’t want to go into how his father had run into him and was tortured for the simple crime of loving his daughter. He didn’t want to go into how every time he got angry, his family would only see Anakin Skywalker, not their son.

No, that was a tale for another time, but for now, he had Rey, gazing at him with only love in her eyes, not disgust as he had feared. He could see that there were tears in her eyes threatening to fall when she brushed her thumb over his cheek, wiping away a tear of his own. When had he started crying?

He wasn’t sure when it had happened, but soon they were kissing and holding each other as if they could slip away like smoke through their fingers. At some point they stopped, although Ben didn’t know when that was, and eventually they fell asleep, wrapped in each other’s arms, while the symphony of the storm played on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed that horny fluff fest. 
> 
> historical note: in regards to naming children before the age of five, I know that this was sometimes done in victorian London amongst working-class families because the death rate in childhood was so high. I couldn't find anything that suggested that this was practiced in rural Italy in the late 1700s (when Rey would have been born) but I decided to include this because I felt that it would help to illustrate how much of Rey's early life is one big question mark (don't worry I won't be pulling a Rey Palpatine out of nowhere, she is and always will be a nobody).


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M BACK!!!!!
> 
> I'm sorry for being away for so long, I got caught up with finals so I had to put writing on pause for a while and then I began writing a post tros Oneshot (the broken lily lies, you know I have to self-promo) and I had a bit of a block writing this chapter because it is kind of at an awkward point plotwise where the shit is about to hit the fan, so we are kind of in the calm before the storm.
> 
> Anyway I hope you enjoy and don't mind the chapter count it may go up it may go down, it all depends on this thing called pacing which I have never really understood myself, but I have heard other people are into it so I may want to check it out sometime.

At first, Rey didn't know where she was when she woke up. The bed beneath her was too soft to be her own and much too large. She still slept in her childhood bed from when she was five (it was too big for her at the time, but now it was an appropriate size), and therefore the mattress was more narrow and worn than the one she was currently lying on. As she lay in this stage of being not quite awake and not quite asleep, she remembered where she was when she finally noticed the arms wrapped around her, and the bare chest that was pressed against her back, holding her close in a warm embrace. That was when memories of the night before came flooding back to her— the storm and its lullaby of thunder, Ben above her sweating and gasping, the way he tasted and wiping away each other’s tears.

Yes, she remembered it all, and she was perfectly happy to remain wrapped in Ben's arms while she felt his breath softly tickle the back of her head. In her still drowsy state, she felt a sudden wave of relief come over her when she heard a distant rumble of thunder. She hadn’t even realized how worried she was about the prospect of waking up in Ben's arms if the storm had passed. So much of their time together was borrowed, and Rey wasn’t sure if she could cope with having this brief moment of perfection ripped away from her just yet.

She could feel Ben beginning to wake shortly after, greeting her with prickly kisses against her cheek, and a hand that began drifting its way up to her breast.

“Good morning,” he said as he began to gently massage her, causing her nipples to harden into little peaks, providing the slightest stimulation.

“Good morning,” she replied, taking his free hand in hers, “judging by the sound of the thunder, I think that I might be here a little longer.” The scene itself would have been quite romantic, with Ben holding her and kissing her as if she was the most precious thing known to man. Unfortunately, at that moment her body decided to remind them both of how long it had been since they had eaten, letting out the most embarrassing rumble of Rey's life.

After letting out an embarrassed groan, they were forced to leave their warm little cocoon and go and eat something. The cold air was a shock to Rey, having just emerged from the safety of Ben's arms, which only encouraged her to hurry up and find something to cover her body so she didn’t freeze to death. After putting on a robe for himself, Ben found an old one that was lurking in the back of his wardrobe for Rey to wear. It was a bit big for her, pooling around her ankles and sleeves that were too long, making her look like a ghost. 

Ben took one look at her and immediately began to laugh at the sight in front of him. Rey tried her best to look annoyed with him, but she had to admit that her appearance was quite amusing. It wasn’t long before she couldn’t suppress her laughter any longer and she found herself joining in with Bens glee.

As he took her hand and walked downstairs, Rey Rey realized that she had never actually been given a formal tour of his home. She told him as much as another clap of thunder was heard overhead, reminding them both that they had time. He made a vague promise to show her around after they had eaten, as they found themselves in the kitchen.

At that moment Ben looked just as lost as her like he had walked into a stranger's home and now was forced to pass it off as his own. His unbrushed hair and slight stubble didn’t help him look any more comfortable in his own home; it looked rather comical.

“I have no idea what I’m doing,” he admitted, putting his hands on his hips, “do you know how to cook?”

“I tried once but I ended up nearly burning down the kitchen so now Mrs. Russo won’t let me anywhere near an oven,” Rey recalled with slight embarrassment at her attempt to make toast.

They both stood there, hungry and confused for a while when Rey decided to look through the cupboards and see if there was anything that they could eat raw. In her journey, she found a bag of apples and tossed one to Ben before she took a bite from her own. She hadn't realized how hungry she was until she had begun biting into her fourth apple, while Ben was still on his second. As they sat together on the floor with the bag of apples laid in front of them, Rey noticed that his mind appeared to be elsewhere, and she took a moment to appreciate just how handsome he was.

His hair was sticking out at all sorts of funny angles having just gotten out of bed, with the shadow of stubble peeking out on his chin, making him look rather unkempt but handsome as ever. As she looked at him more, she couldn't help but draw a comparison between him and the numerous statues she had seen of Greek gods and heroes. When he stood naked before her, he looked as if he had been carved from marble by one of the masters with muscles that looked as though they were perfectly sculpted by Michelangelo himself. Only, unlike David, Ben was far better endowed.

Her musings were cut short however when Ben noticed that she was studying him. So as to not look suspicious, she quickly turned away as a blush crept along her cheeks, hoping that he didn't notice how long she was looking at him. She wasn't sure why she felt embarrassed to be caught staring at him, but thankfully it soon melted away when he darted down and planted a small kiss on her cheek. She swallowed her last chunk of apple before turning around and gently pressing her lips to his.

* * *

The tour of his house, as it turned out, got slightly delayed, due to the unforeseen circumstance that the both of them were hungry for more than just a few apples, and before they knew it, Ben had stuck his head between her legs and Rey was panting and moaning on the floor of his kitchen. 

Now they were dressed, and Ben couldn’t help but notice the slight flush that lingered on her cheeks, despite the cold air. As Ben took her from room to room, showing her his home, he saw her really come alive when they entered the study and saw the shelves of books that lined the walls.

“How many do you have here?” She asked as she traced her fingers along the spines of books that he hadn’t picked up in years.

“Over one hundred probably,” he said as he stood in the doorway, watching her as she explored in wonder, “I’ve never actually counted them.”

She pulled out his copy of the Iliad and began thumbing through the pages before she put it back and pulled out his copy of Gulliver's travels. As she skimmed through he could see by the look on her face that she was struggling to read it.

“You speak English?” She asked as she held up the book that his father had brought back from England as a gift.

“I can read it better than I speak,” he said as she put it back on his shelf.

“And that?” She asked as she pointed to the duelling pistol that hung on the wall.

“My father also gave it to me,” he explained, “I was always getting into trouble so he thought that I should have one in case I get challenged. Never used it though so I just hung it up for decoration.” A smile tugged at her lips, that Ben took for her finding his little story amusing. 

The tour moved on, but Ben found, as they passed through one corridor, that there was a beam of light striking the wall. He ran to the window and looked up to the sky where he could see some blue peeking through the grey clouds. The tour was over, and so was Rey's stay with Ben. His only comfort was that she felt the disappointment as strongly as he did. He wasn’t sure if it was to comfort her or to comfort himself, but he moved and placed a kiss on the top of her head and held her close.

“Do you know what you’ll say to your mother?” He murmured into the top of her head.

“I’ll tell her I stayed with Rose,” she whispered, pressing her head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat. They stayed there, reluctant to let each other go, knowing that this opportunity would not come around often and this may be the last one that they would have for a while.

As Rey left and eventually disappeared from view, there was something within Ben that felt like there was something of finality to their goodbye.

He turned back around and went to open her letter that he had promised to read after she had gone. As he opened it up he could not shake that feeling that settled deep within his stomach that there was something wrong.

_ Ben _

_ In all honesty, I am overwhelmed by the beauty of what you wrote to me. I know that you probably don’t agree (you told me as much yourself) but I now can’t help but feel like I must match you. I had a vague idea of writing you a sonnet but I am quite sure that one poorly worded sonnet from me would kill any love you harbour for me. Poetry does have that effect, either nurturing a budding romance or poisoning the soil it grows in. In those blunt terms, I suppose love is like a flower, it must be cared for to bloom and for some, no matter how much care is given, it will not take. Despite this, flowers still bloom in winter, in freezing snows, and perhaps that flower is us; you have seen all the ugly parts of me and I have seen the ugly parts of you, yet love grew out of this adversity. Maybe that makes us stronger because we have grown from harsh conditions to bloom into the most beautiful and precious thing there is. _

_ Your Rey _

He brought the paper up to his lips and kissed it, smelling her perfume that lingered on the paper.

* * *

The moment she stepped through the entrance of her home she was met by her mother, stern-faced as she sat in her chair by the door. She was giving Rey  _ the look _ , which could bare into a person's soul and read their darkest secrets.

“Where were you?” She asked, calmer than Rey had expected, which was all the more terrifying. Somehow there was nothing more terrifying than her mothers’ calm fury.

“With Rose,” Rey answered, although it sounded more like a question when she said it out loud. On the way over she had rehearsed in her what she was going to say, but now she stood face to face with her mother, her speech had drifted from her memory, leaving only the sound of her heart beating behind her ears.

“She’s safe, so you can all stop eavesdropping,” Maz called back as Rey heard a great shuffling from behind the door that separated the staff's domain from the main house, “they were all worried about you, but I knew that you wouldn’t want to be bombarded with questions. Let’s get you changed out of those old clothes,” With that, she grabbed Rey's hand and guided her up to her bedroom. She knew that getting changed was just a rouse, that there was something else her mother wanted to talk about. She thought that she was going to be sick as she climbed those stairs.

At first, when she entered the bedroom her mother simply went into her wardrobe and pulled out a cream-coloured dress, with pink carnations lining the collar. It had never been Rey's favourite dress in particular, but she always appreciated the delicate needlework that went into embroidering the flowers.

“Now that we are alone,” Maz said as she began to unbutton Rey's dress, “you can be honest with me,” she felt her stomach drop, and for a moment Rey thought that she would pass out, “I know you weren’t with Rose, I can tell when you are lying, but now we are alone so I want you to be honest with me.” she didn't know how she could be honest with her mother. Instead of answering, she stayed silent, partly due to shock and partly out of fear for what would come out of her mouth if she did speak. “Rey, I want you to know you can tell me where you went. Was there anyone else there for dinner?”

“Yes,” she choked out.

“Do I know them?”

“You know a lot of people, mother.”

“You're not wrong. Was it a man?” That was where Rey was stumped. After an uncomfortably long silence, her mother spoke, “I’ll take that as a yes,” she said, as Rey only nodded, “if it’ll get you to be honest with me, I may not be married but I’m no blushing virgin, so you might as well tell me what happened.” that revelation in itself made Rey blush and the rather uncomfortable image her mother had just placed in her mind, but at least it achieved its goal, making Rey open up somewhat.

“He didn't want me to walk home at night by myself, but it began to rain so he let me shelter with him until the storm passed but it went on longer than we expected so he let me take a bed.” It wasn't a complete lie.

“Rey, did he hurt you at all?” Maz asked tentatively, eliciting a fervent denial from Rey, making the older women visibly relax, only to tense up again as she asked the next question, “did you lie with this man in any capacity?”

Rey felt a heat rise to her cheeks as her mother finished buttoning up her dress, letting the question hang heavy in the air. Her mother was an expert at reading through lies, so she knew she had to choose her next words very carefully and very quickly.

“Mother, I would not willingly lie with a man I do not love.” That was all she needed to say, quelling her mother’s concern. Maz accepted the answer and left without another word. She wasn't exactly lying to her mother, but somehow she felt as if she was.

* * *

The next few weeks were some of the busiest of Rey's life as they finished rehearsing the opera and got to the point where they were ready to perform. A week before the show, as was the case before, the cast had gone into a mad panic, fretting about every note and every aria. The stress had gotten to Rey as well, which was made only worse by the fact that she and Ben had hardly seen each other since the night of the storm, with the exception of when they were performing together. Even in the practice room, they had hardly enough time to share a kiss and exchange an ‘I love you,’ before getting on with their work.

Truthfully, the only opportunity they had to speak was through writing. when he wrote to her, it was like he was reaching out to her and holding her. His words transported her into his arms where she knew that she was loved and cared for. His words made her forget her reality.

_ My love _

_ Every day I see you and cannot speak to you is like torture. I fear that I am going mad having not kissed your lips for so many days and weeks, with the only thing keeping me sane, is the smell of your perfume on your letters and a ribbon for your hair that you left behind that first time. Those pieces of you are like water in the desert for me my love. My love for you has made me selfish, for I can think of none but you. Nothing else matters, not the opera, not my parents, and not even myself, only you. We have been so busy so recently that my thoughts should be on other things, but still, they find their way back to you because with you I am not a legacy or a celebrity, but I am simply a man who loves a woman; a woman that means more to him than life itself.  _

_ Until my dying day, I shall be yours, _

_ Ben _

That was his most recent letter, and Rey found herself reading it every time she found that she was missing his touch. She knew she couldn't linger too long, so she opened the chest of letters which she now kept concealed in a darker corner of the room, and placed it at the bottom. As soon as the chest was closed, reality came crashing back down on her. __

That day, Hux was coming to dinner to celebrate Maz’s sixtieth birthday, along with some other close friends, but on the whole, it was going to be a small affair. The Solos were invited, but Mr. Solo had been called away after receiving news that a friend of his was ill. It was small mercy for Rey, although interacting with some of her mother’s friends would be painful enough. She loved her mother but her friends could be a bit boring. Truthfully, the Solos were the most enjoyable to spend any time with.

Hux had been invited as a ‘mercy’ from her mother, so Rey didn’t have to pretend to have something in common with a group of sixty-somethings. Little did her mother know that inviting him may have made her evening all the more difficult. Hux had been so busy running his business that he had hardly enough time to visit her, so she was spared from the sickly guilty feeling she got every time she saw him.

He greeted her with a slight bow, and she took his arm and they winded their way home in stony silence. That was how it always ended up when they were together (which wasn’t very often). The only thing they had in common was the shared belief that their union would be beneficial to them both, but Rey was beginning to have doubts about even that. If she were to break it off as she so desperately wished, there would be a great scandal and knowing Hux, he would go out of his way to tarnish her name.

“Your mother’s quite old,” he said almost sneeringly, making Rey very uncomfortable.

“I suppose,” she said, trying to veil her discomfort and move the conversation away from her mother’s age, “although knowing her, she’ll outlive us all.”

“Nobody’s immortal,” he pointed out, “take my father, I thought he would never die, but as it turned out all it took was a nap to take him out. Although my father was sixty-three when the grim reaper came calling.”

“Then by your logic, my mother only has another three years left in her,” Rey shot back, not bothering to hide her anger.

“I’m not saying that!” 

“Then what are you saying?” 

“I'm saying she's old!” he snapped back, “you're reading too much into what I’m saying. I don't know why you're being so hysterical about this.” his cool cruelty pushed her over the edge and she refused to speak to him the rest of the journey home.

That evening at dinner they hardly said a word to each other.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, and again I am sorry for leaving it almost a month between updates, but with the winter holidays I should be able to get another chapter up soon.
> 
> I also want to apologize for the gratuitous symbolism and shout out to Bette Midler for inspiring Rey's letter (I based it on the Rose which is a beautiful song by the way if you haven't heard it)


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!! yes, the year from hell that was 2020 is finally over and it is now 2021 so that obviously means that everything restarts and the world goes back to normal.
> 
> I know, I'm coming in pretty fast with the updates but I'm afraid that I go back to uni soon so updates will go back to their usual erratic schedule.
> 
> also please ignore the chapter count, as of now, I am still unsure of how many more chapters it is going to take to finish this story off but do know that we are reaching the final stretch and the end is in sight.

Mrs. Di Angelo was a rather ordinary woman. All those, including herself, who knew her were in agreement with that fact. In her youth, she had been something of a renowned beauty but now she was around fifty and delighted in pestering her husband about a wide variety of topics. Two of her favourite topics to pester her husband about were the opera and local gossip.

“Darling,” she said one day over breakfast while he read the newspaper, trying to contain the defeated sigh that escaped him as he recognized the specific way she said the word ‘darling’ which usually signalled that she was about to pester him.

“Yes my dear,” he responded, barely looking up at her.

“Do you know what it is they are performing at the Skywalker Opera House?” she asked with provocative innocence.

“Haven’t the faintest idea, you're usually the one who knows about these things,” he drawled, sipping his tea as he continued to read.

“Well you have the paper there and I know last night their new opera opened, so I was wondering if you had read any reviews or seen what it’s called?” 

“Don’t you always say that critics are just people who weren’t good enough to do it themselves so they feel the need to tell everyone else how they're doing it wrong?” He pointed out but still began to search for the reviews so he could find out what it was called. Once he told her, it seemed to placate her, and her expectant expression. He simply rolled his eyes and tried to continue with his breakfast but his wife wasn’t finished with the conversation at hand.

“Read me the review, I want to know what people think.” Mr. Di Angelo decided to hold his tongue and not to mention the fact of how he had just pointed out her dislike of critics. Instead, he did as he was asked and read.

_ Persephone by Mr. Poe Damaron is one of the most spectacular performances I have seen in a while. I feel as if I must take some credit for the casting of Mr. Ben Solo as Hades as I was the one who first pointed out the similarities between him and the god of the underworld. Although, I must say there was something of a romantic hero about his interpretation of the sinister deity. What I saw on that stage was one of the most moving love stories I have witnessed in years, with Damarons masterful composition taking us all away from Venice to the splendour of Mount Olympus. What cannot be forgotten is the angelic quality that Miss Rey Kanata brought with one of the most beautiful arias I have ever heard as she performed the most delicate and beautiful Persephone ever to be performed. There were many times when I found myself truly believing that Mr. Solo and Miss Kanata were actually in love, their performance was so convincing, and when the ending eventually came I found myself quite moved to witness their separation even though they will see each other again, just as I will certainly see this opera again. _

His wife seemed interested in the review, before a conspiratorial look crossed her face, once again worrying her husband as to what she was about to say.

“Would you like to hear a bit of gossip regarding the leading man and lady?”

“Not particularly, but I have a feeling you're going to tell me anyway, so you might as well get on with it,” he drawled, making his wife roll her eyes. There was nothing that Mr. Di Angelo enjoyed more than teasing his wife, and today was no exception. It wasn’t as if this teasing was one-sided, whenever it came time for him to pester her with something he was interested in, she would put up a most disinterested front but listen anyway.

“You know Mrs. Salvini, don’t you?” He nodded, having briefly spoken to her in passing when at a coffee house, “well her nephew is a violinist at Skywalkers Opera House and he told her that Mr. Solo and Miss Kanata cannot stand the sight of each other,” now that bit of information did surprise him, especially after reading that review, “apparently attempts have been made to get them to ‘play nice’ as it were, but nothing has worked. He said that everyone has given up and now does everything they can to keep them away from each other to avoid them butting heads. They even had to physically separate them once! Mrs. Salvini said that they are the only man and woman they can trust to be alone in a room together and when they are people keep away to avoid listening to them shouting at each other.”

“Perhaps it is a ruse,” he proposed in jest, “perhaps they are the greatest of friends and they take pleasure in making everyone’s lives miserable.” His wife rolled her eyes, while he chuckled at the absurdity of his own comment. 

“I don’t think that’s likely,” she said, as she buttered her toast, “Miss Kanata is engaged to Mr. Hux, the businessman, and I have heard that he and Mr. Solo are old rivals. I should think that her intended has told her some pieces of delicate information and she has decided to keep far away from him. Not to mention his reputation for being quite the rake. Yes, it is probably for the best that she should keep her distance from Mr. Solo.”

Mr. Di Angelo knew Mr. Hux and believed him to be the most unpleasant and manipulative man in existence. There were many times when he was of the belief that Hux would do just about anything to make a profit, no matter how immoral. If anything, learning that Miss Kanata was engaged to that man greatly coloured his view of her; either she was of a similar disposition or he had used his charm to entrap her. Mr. Solo was another matter entirely as all he knew about the man was that he was a bit of a rake and a rogue. 

“So that brings us to the question of whether or not you want to go and see this opera, featuring two stars that can’t stand the sight of each other?” He said, changing the topic as his wife’s ears pricked up.

“Oh, darling you know I would love to.”

* * *

Mrs. Di Angelo was a bundle of excitement as they sat in their front row seats. She always was excited before seeing a show. Her husband may think her silly, but she couldn’t help but be thrilled in anticipation of the music and the lights and the wonder of it all. Now her children were all grown up she had more time to spend on these things, rather than feel bad that she wasn't spending any time with them. 

Sitting there, she could hear the conversations all around her, but surprisingly, they all tended to centre around the lead soprano and tenors deep rivalry. It seemed that this piece of information was common knowledge amongst this particular audience.

“Well my Jessika tells me,” one woman in the row behind her began, “that Mrs. Tico and her husband tried to get the two of them to reconcile, but the next time they saw each other it was only stony silence and glaring.” The woman and her companion both sounded affronted by the failed attempts of those around them to get the stars to behave more friendly towards each other.

Mrs. Di Angelo’s attention was pulled away from the gossip when she heard the orchestra begin to play and she was immediately swept up in the grandeur and beauty of the music. When the opera began and all the performers walked out to sing the opening number, dressed in all their togas, she was suddenly transported to Mount Olympus, with all its ethereal splendour. It was easy to spot Hades in that crowd, as he was the only one wearing all black, starkly contrasting him from the others on stage. 

Although she was old enough to be his mother, she had to admit that Ben Solo was a very handsome man. If it weren't for the fact that most of her daughters were already married, she would be trying to find a way to introduce him to one of her girls. There was truly something of a romantic hero about him, even noticing some of the younger ladies swooning when he sang a particularly low note or cast his eye over the audience.

As she continued watching she saw how deeply Hades was in love with Persephone and how much she detested him, yet, over time they both came to love each other. Their voices blended beautifully together as if they were made to sing in harmony and enchant all those listening. The love they shared for each other was so deep and so passionate that Mrs. Di Angelo forgot about the singer’s supposed rivalry, being too absorbed in the story and the music. In fact, their performance was so convincing that at some points when their characters shared a kiss, she found herself blushing from their passion. 

Even her husband appeared slightly scandalized as he leaned over and whispered, “are you sure this is appropriate? Do you want me to cover your eyes?” she lightly swatted his arm and rolled her eyes.

“Absolutely not!” she whispered back in mock offence, prompting her husband to chuckle slightly.

Once their final duet had been sung and Hades and Persephone were about to be separated for six months, and the curtain fell, was Mrs. Di Angelo pulled out of her little world and brought back into reality. She hadn't even noticed the tears that were lingering on her cheeks until her husband handed her a handkerchief. 

“I have to say,” he said as the bows began, “I usually can't stand operas, but that was rather incredible.”

As they all took their bows, she looked as closely as possible to see any hints of hatred between the leads, but aside from a sideways glance from Miss Kanata aimed at Mr. Solo, there wasn't much to suggest discontent between the two.

“It is a shame that they hate each other so,” she said as they stepped into their gondola to be taken home, “they do make for a rather attractive couple.”

* * *

Rey sat in her dressing room getting unchanged when she heard a knock at the door. The performance that night had gone incredibly well, and as it turned out, news of hers and Bens ‘rivalry’ had gotten out. She couldn't help but be pleased with herself at that achievement. She had even heard a couple in the front row talking about it as they were taking their bows. In fact, she had noticed the entire audience was studying her and Ben more closely than usual, analyzing every glance and every touch. That was why she decided to shoot him a slight distasteful glance when he wasn't looking, and as it turned out it was a good idea because when she looked back at the audience they appeared to be thrilled with what they had just seen.

She got up to open the door, finding herself being greeted by Ben's smiling face.

“What are you doing here?” she chastised. They had agreed that they wouldn't run the risk of being caught by one of their co-stars and decided to keep the dressing room dalliances to a minimum.

“Don't worry, everyone’s gone. I mentioned something about you making a mistake during the performance that I wanted to speak with you about and they went running,” he said as he closed the door behind him, immediately moving to kiss her. She felt a bit better knowing that they were safe from being caught, eventually letting her worries melt away so she could focus on the feeling of Ben's lips on hers. 

“I missed you,” he said between kisses, holding her so close to him she was slightly worried for a moment that she wouldn't be able to breathe.

“I think your letters are the only things stopping me from going mad,” she admitted as he rested his head against her own, “I wish it wasn't like this. I wish I could be with you and we didn't have to live in secret. I've been doing everything I can to make Hux hate me and call the whole thing off, but all its doing is making us detest each other without changing his mind.” she found herself being to cry at the hopelessness of it all and Ben lovingly gathered her in his arms.

“I love you. Even if I cannot have you, at least I have had this taste of happiness and maybe this is enough to live on.”

“Maybe,” she said, looking up at him. He smiled at her, but she knew that it was just masking the sadness that lay just beneath the surface, “I love you, Ben. If nothing else, never doubt that I love you.”

He gazed into her eyes as his lips stretched into a smile- a real smile this time, with no sadness and no regret. For a brief moment, all their worries were forgotten and there was only one another. That was when something in the air shifted and they realized that there was only so much time they had together and needed to make the most of it.

All it took was a glance at each other and Rey began to hitch up her dress while Ben began to remove his trousers. Once the offending fabric was out of the way, Rey wasted no time wrapping her leg around Ben's waist and he backed her up against a wall. He reached a hand down to her lips to test and tease her, feeling how wet she was for him already. He began to lightly brush his finger over her clit, teasing her relentlessly, never providing her with that friction that she so desperately craved. When she bucked her hips forward, chasing the promise of release, he retracted his hand, prompting her to let out a frustrated groan.

“No noise my love,” he whispered in her ear as she felt the blunt tip of his length nudge at her entrance, “we don’t want someone to hear us.” With that, he plunged himself into her, as her jaw went slack and hung open at both the shock and pleasure.

He didn’t give her much time to adjust to the feeling of having him inside of her, and immediately he began to set a punishing pace. They both knew that they had to be quick and quiet but Rey desperately wanted to moan, and cry, and scream out from the pleasure. Ben was doing his best to keep both of them quiet by kissing her, but still, little grasps and mewls escaped her lips.

“Ben, I—I’m,” she stuttered, finding it difficult to speak as she felt herself draw closer and closer to the precipice of her pleasure. Clearly understanding what she was trying to say, Ben's hand moved to her clit as his thumb began to rub in tight circles. As he rubbed, Rey threw her head back against the wall in ecstasy finding it harder and harder not to make a sound.

Eventually, when she did come, she silently screamed into Ben's shoulder, clinging to him for dear life. As usual, he made sure to spill outside of her, and in the nick of time as well as he found himself spilling over the inside of her thigh. As his spend dropped down the inside of her leg and Rey began to come down from her high, she found herself feeling thoroughly debauched. 

For a moment they stayed holding onto each other, unable to move. They stared into each other’s eyes before Ben pressed a searing kiss against her lips and smiled. He grabbed a handkerchief to wipe up his spend from the inside of her leg, which had now grown cold while he peppered her face with kisses. She didn’t even try to stifle the giggles that escaped her as he continued to kiss. 

They adjusted themselves so that they looked presentable enough to leave, Rey rushing to the mirror to adjust her hair and Ben tucked himself back into his trousers. He walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her close.

Rey didn’t want the moment to end, she desperately wanted to live in that dressing room with him and never see another soul apart from her love. She knew that wasn’t possible. 

There were so many nights when she would imagine running away with Ben to some little village far away from Venice, tucked behind hills and fields of wheat. She would imagine their little stone cottage that they would live in and what she would cook for him after he comes in from a day of chopping wood for their fire. They would watch the sunset over the horizon and at night there would be only them in their bed where she could be as loud as she wanted because they were the only people for miles. Some nights she dared to imagine children running at their feet while she wrote letters to ‘grandma Maz,’ about how much they had grown.

Of course, that was only a dream that could never be hers. In reality, she didn’t know how to cook and she knew all too well the harsh realities of poverty. It wasn’t as beautiful as she pretended it was in those fantasies; it was harsh and ugly and any children they had would only learn how to go to sleep with empty stomachs. Yet she supposed that poverty brought a certain kind of freedom— engagements were fickle and not binding, and you could marry whomever you choose. 

In recalling those fantasy’s her face must have fallen because Ben pressed a gentle kiss to the crook of her neck and whispered, “I love you,” against her skin. Once again she felt that sadness from earlier come over her and she found herself softly weeping. Ben turned her round to face him and did his best to wipe away the tears that fell onto her cheeks but to no avail; they both knew that it was time for him to go.

“I love you,” she said through her tears.

“I’ll be here tomorrow,” he pointed out. His eyes began to redden and turn glassy in his effort to comfort her.

“But it’s not the same.”

“No, it isn’t,” he admitted as he pulled her into a final embrace. Tears fell freely from both of them, neither trying to hide the hopelessness they felt about their situation. Eventually, he peeled himself away from her and she found it within herself to let him go without another word.

Once again Rey was alone.

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't originally plan on them fucking, they just decided to and who am I to stop them?
> 
> constructive criticism/ historical accuracy checks are much appreciated.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I'm back soon, but that's what an extra week's holiday does to you. in other news, I have finally set the chapter count to 18 and I know that I won't be changing it. 
> 
> I just wanted to give everyone the heads up that next week I'm back at uni and there's a lot going on in my personal life, so the next update might be a little slow.
> 
> also a warning, this features Hux being a massive prick.

“Mr. Hux, something seems to be troubling you,” the girl pointed out as she lay naked beside him. She was one of his favourite prostitutes at the local brothels; she knew what he liked and wouldn't complain like some of the others. She kept her mouth shut and did what she was told, both in bed and otherwise. She would ask about him but hardly talked about herself because He couldn't stand people talking about themselves and he didn't think he would be interested in the life of a lowly whore.

“I suppose there is,” he admitted. He knew that this was just a ploy on her part to get him to spend more time with her so he would pay her more at the end. He had enough money that it didn't matter too much, but still, he wouldn't be fooled by her false kindness. She didn't care about him and he didn't care about her, beyond what they could do for each other.

“Why don't you tell me about it? Maybe it'll make you feel better?” she said as she went to stroke his arm, “whenever my son is upset we have a little talk and he feels much better.”

“And how old is your son?” he asked resentfully, not wishing to be compared to a child.

“He's four, but I think that you and he will agree that I am a very good listener.”

“It's my finance,” he spat, “we agreed that we would wait before we got married so that she could become more established as a singer so I could say I’m married to a celebrity, but whenever I bring up a wedding she gets all twitchy. Seeing as I’m going to be providing for her for the rest of her life she should be thrilled with our arrangement.”

“Do you love her?” there was something about the way she asked him that made him feel as though there was more to the question than he was privy to. 

“Of course not! Maria, this is marriage, love doesn't tend to factor into it. She's rich and so am I so it benefits both of us. What would you know of love anyway?”

“I know more than I let on, Mr. Hux,” she admitted, smiling sadly at him as if she was reflecting upon a love long lost or unattainable. There was something about the look she gave him that unsettled him slightly, but he ignored it and decided to continue talking. That was something strange about Maria, no matter how cruel he was to her she still treated him kindly and with such tenderness when she didn't have to; she had plenty of other clients lined up wanting her, so it wasn't as if she was short of business. To him, it was if she liked the cruelty and the callousness with which he treated her. 

“Well, now it is getting frustrating because I am beginning to hate her and I know if this goes on any longer I shall surely detest her and call the whole thing off.”

“Then why don't you?” she sounded rather hopeful at that prospect.

“Because she is rich,” he sighed, “if anything, I should probably strong-arm her into it. That way we'll be married and she can stop getting twitchy when it is brought up.”

“If you're going to do it you should probably wait until after this opera's current run is over. A lot of my clients have been talking about it saying they want to take me. If you marry her now you'll have to wait for your honeymoon because if you pulled her out of it you would not be popular with the public.” she had a point, and he knew that Rey would hate him if they married in the middle of the run. He hadn't even seen the opera yet, not that he particularly revelled in the idea of watching it. 

That was when a plan began to take shape in his mind. He knew she would hate him if they married in the middle of the season, so he would tell her on the day of the final show. He wouldn't have any trouble acquiring the marriage licence, and to be nice he could even wait until the day after he tells her to get it. He thought it was a good plan, of course just because he would soon be married didn't mean that he was going to stop visiting the whore houses. If anything with his new wife's wealth he may find himself visiting them more often. He quickly assured Maria that he would not stop visiting her after his wedding, if anything, she would be seeing more of him. For some reason, the promise of a continuous client did not interest her as he thought it would, if anything she appeared saddened by the prospect.

_ Why the hell would she be upset that I’ll see her after I’m married?  _ He wondered.

“Do you want to go again?” he asked after a brief silence before she agreed and began to straddle him.

* * *

The days and weeks flashed by in a haze of madness for Rey. Letters of admiration came pouring in at such a volume that she found herself worried that Ben's loving words would get lost in the sea of audience members. Her only consolation was the fact that he was also receiving an inordinate volume of letters from ladies looking for husbands, and mothers who wished to marry their daughters off. It was easier for Ben to distinguish which letters were hers and which were everyone else's as she wrote to his home.

It was drawing near to the close of their season when everyone would go away for a break before coming back a few weeks later, making it one of the few opportunities they had for a real rest. Jessika and Mitaka had announced that they would be getting married during that break, and while Rey truly felt nothing but joy for them, somewhere deep down she felt a fit of jealousy aimed at their happiness because she knew that it was something that she could not have. 

She didn't want to open up that potential pandora's box of spite, so to draw her mind away to other matters she opened up Ben's most recent letter. There was just enough time before the show that she could read it and begin to think of a potential response. She held the unopened letter in her hand and took a few deep breaths in preparation. Recently his letters had shifted from romantic to erotic as he described all the things he wished to do to her. There were still the romantic declarations of love, but now there were also some wonderful descriptions of her bum included.

_ Rey  _

_ Your last letter has done nothing to quell my desire for you; if anything it has only heightened it. Every night I fall asleep dreaming of your lips and how much I long to kiss them, even if it is on a stage. More agonizing than that is the way in my dreams that your hair falls against your naked breasts and you look like a siren, rising from the sea to tempt me to a watery grave. Perhaps if you were a siren I shouldn't mind driving my ships into some rocks, as long as I can be with you. In my dreams, your lips do feature quite a bit, although I don't think that it would be polite to speak of the other kind which I dream of. Aside from the immoral and scintillating topics that I could spend many hours on my love, I feel as though you may not appreciate another vivid description of your derriere or how much I wish to kiss your breasts (very much I can assure you). While every part of you is vivid in my dreams, I think what I miss most are the moments afterward when we could lie together in bed just holding each other. Unfortunately, my dreams tend to follow a single direction, which while efficient, does not allow me to trace your skin and memorize every one of your freckles in the candlelight of my bedroom.  _

_ Yours, _

_ Ben _

As she finished reading she could hear Luke making his rounds knocking on the doors of the dressing rooms, alerting everyone that the show was about to start. She stood up and tucked the letter away, before turning to the mirror to straighten out the peplos she wore, pristine and white with flowers woven into her hair. The first time she and Ben had seen each other in costume they both were resisting the urge to rip the cloth off each other; unfortunately, someone had interrupted them so the removal of the offending fabrics was not possible. Instead, they settled for slightly dipping their fingers below the fabric when holding each other on stage; the audience would hardly notice it and they could have just a sliver of intimacy.

The performance itself went well, with the audience fully entranced as she and Ben sang words of love. During a scene change, Luke told her that this was one of the quietest audiences he had ever seen in all his years in the theatre, there was hardly a peep out of them except for when she and Ben kissed, sending them all into a floury of speculation and gossip. The same went for the parts when she would have to sing about her hate for Hades, with murmurs of gossip ripping through the audience at lightning speed. Rey found it quite amusing how word of their rivalry had taken hold amongst Venice's most prolific socialites and gossips. She and Ben naturally only played up those rumours, with glances and distasteful looks, making it a game between both of them to see who could elicit the best reaction from the audience.

_ “Rey darling I think it's time you two moved past this petty rivalry,”  _ Maz said backstage after a performance when she had gotten a particularly satisfying rise out of the audience,  _ “people are talking and I don't want them to make a villain out of you.” _

_ “This ‘rivalry’ as you call it will only end when he stops being a pompous ass,”  _ she had shot back.

_ “Rey! I raised you better than that! I know you know far worse ones than ‘pompous ass’ to describe him.” _ The response made Rey chuckle. Usually, she would get uncomfortable when people spoke poorly of Ben in her presence, but that day he had been getting on her nerves and was behaving like an ass.

During the interval when Rey was walking back to her dressing room, she ran into Ben in the corridor. They both took a quick glance around to make sure that nobody could see them, and once they were satisfied with the state of their seclusion, Ben planted a quick kiss on her cheek and they continued going to their separate destinations. As she passed Jessika’s dressing room she heard a fit of giggling and suddenly the door burst open and she was having a staredown with a messy-haired Mitaka whose cheeks were rather flushed to match a guilty look he wore on his face.

“M-miss Kanata!” he exclaimed when he saw her. Both he and Jessika appeared to be mortified, with the latter looking as if she would burst into tears, “I-I want to assure you that nothing unseemly has taken place…”

“You're both engaged,” she assured him, “I have an invite to the wedding and I  _ saw _ nothing of interest, and I don't see any reason why anybody needs to know.” there was visible relief that crossed both of their faces when she assured them that nobody needed to know that they were alone together.

As she walked away she felt a surge of bitterness rise through her. She hated the feeling and wished it would go away, but it wouldn't. It persisted. Ugly, wretched, bitterness filled her to the brim and all she wanted to do was cry because they could be happy in ways that she never could. 

* * *

Hux detested opera. That was probably why he put off seeing Rey until the last minute on closing night. He had hardly seen her since the opera began so he had very little time to try and warm her up to the idea of marriage by charming her a bit, but now he supposed that would have to wait until after the wedding. He wasn't sure how long it took a woman to get ready for a wedding; one of his cousins from Bergamo needed three weeks to prepare for her wedding, but her sister only needed three days. He would ask Maria but what would she know of commitment and marriage? There was no way he would ask his mother that kind of question.

As he sat in his box he found himself very tempted to fall asleep while Rey sang. She hadn't even noticed that he was there, and they were already (hopefully) over halfway through. He already knew the general story and had had quite enough of it already.

_ ‘Yes, yes, I understand,’  _ he thought to himself, ‘ _ she hated him but now they're in love but won't admit it. Christ, is there anything more tedious than this?’ _

A few times he found himself drifting off, only to be woken by his finances screeching about how much she loved Hades. After what felt like an eternity, it was finally over and he managed to slip away during the bows to her dressing room. He managed to remember his way over there, and even back behind the stage, he could hear the cheers from the audience. Her dressing room was much the same as it was before, only more costumes were lying about and more personal items dotting the place. 

He had forgotten about the floral wallpaper that lined the walls. It was truly heinous and he did not want to wait there and have to look at it until Rey arrived so he could tell her that they were going to get married soon. Instead, he decided to snoop around and distract himself from the walls. He began to look at her vanity, picking up her silver hairbrush, inspecting all the decorations and patterns that had been engraved into it. He moved on to study her dress that was hanging up when something in the corner of the room caught his eye. In a dark corner sat a rather small and unassuming black chest with a lock on it. 

A bout of curiosity came over Hux and he found himself searching through the drawers of her vanity until he discovered a silver key, hidden underneath some ribbon for her hair. Whatever it was that was in that chest must have been important if she kept it locked and the key hidden. When he opened it up at first all he saw was some letters.

One by one he went through them, seeing only messages from audience members telling how wonderful she was and asking for locks of hair. ‘ _ Typical woman,’  _ he thought to himself, ‘ _ believing anything to feed her vanity.’ _ He kept skimming through them until he came across one that gave him pause.

_ My love,  _

_ Every day I see you and cannot speak to you is like torture,  _ the letter began. At first, he thought nothing of it, presuming that it was some over-eager audience member who had taken his admiration of her too far; that would explain why it was buried so deeply. The next part, however, made him realize that this was no ordinary case of someone getting too attached to a star. 

_ I fear that I am going mad having not kissed your lips for so many days and weeks, with the only thing keeping me sane, is the smell of your perfume on your letters and a ribbon for your hair that you left behind that first time. Those pieces of you are like water in the desert for me my love. My love for you has made me selfish, for I can think of none but you. Nothing else matters, not the opera, not my parents, and not even myself, only you. We have been so busy so recently that my thoughts should be on other things, but still, they find their way back to you because with you I am not a legacy or a celebrity, but I am simply a man who loves a woman; a woman that means more to him than life itself.  _

He knew what this letter signified. It told him why she had been so reluctant to marry him and why she sparked nothing but conflict between the two of them on the rare occasions when they were together. It was only when he saw who it was from that Hux felt fury course through him, like blood through his veins.

_ Until my dying day, I shall be yours, _

_ Ben _

He no longer cared about marrying Rey. he now only cared about vengeance and making them both pay.

* * *

Rey was buzzing after the show had finished. The cheering had gone on for over ten minutes after the bows were over, and while Ben had tried to speak over it so that they could thank Poe and bid them all farewell, but it ended up taking Luke walking out for the audience to quiet down so that Ben could deliver his message. Everyone was floating on air and was yet to come down; Ben was even smiling freely and laughing with people. Rey couldn't have asked for a more perfect ending to a more perfect opera. They had held off holding any end of show celebrations because Jessika and Mitakas wedding was three days away and everyone had agreed to save the celebration until then. 

Rey rushed down the corridor to get changed and go home, but when she opened the door she was confronted with Hux sitting at her vanity, facing the door. At first, nothing seemed out of the ordinary, but then she noticed the opened letter he was holding. Panic shot thought Rey and she wanted to snatch it out of his hand but as she looked around the room, noting how her chest had been emptied, with letters strewn everywhere. He knew.

“You know I had hoped this would be a happy occasion,” he commented calmly, as though nothing was out of the ordinary, “your opera closed and I was about to inform you that in a week from now we would be getting married,” he stood up and stalked towards her like a predator would its prey, but still she stood her ground, “you would be provided for, looked after, married to one of the richest men in Venice and yet you throw it all away like a whore, opening your legs for a pair of pretty eyes!” he was shouting as he stood over her, murder written across his face, “I read them all. I know what you have done together. As it turns out, the Turk is incredibly descriptive when he recalls your activities, or imagines ones you are yet to do. It gave me a very vivid picture of just what kind of a whore you are.”

It was at that moment that Ben decided to make an appearance, standing in her open doorway unaware that his presence was about to aggravate Hux even further. When Hux did notice him he immediately pounced and started shouting.

“You son of a bitch!” he roared as he began to attack Ben, “you couldn't help yourself, could you? You saw what was mine and had to have a taste didn't you?”

He swung at Ben who managed to dodge, although an audience had begun to gather. Rey desperately tried to intervene and pull them off of each other, but for all her efforts, Hux simply pushed her to the ground. Many of the men appeared reluctant to try and get involved as the fight was getting worse and worse, and both looked more likely to cause each other grievous harm. Rose helped Rey up from the ground, albeit on shaky legs, as she shouted at them to stop. She knew that it wouldn't do anything, but she felt as if she needed to do something.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Ben spat as Hux slammed him against a wall. That was when He leaned in and whispered something in Ben's ear, causing him to pale. He looked to Rey and they both knew what was said. 

That was when Finn and Poe managed to separate both of them in the icy calm that settled. The men stared at each other, slightly bloodied and bruised, as tension hung in the air.

“You don’t deny it?” Hux asked.

“No.”

“You admit that you dishonoured me?”

“Yes.  _ I  _ dishonoured you.”

“Then I see no other course of action,” Hux said, “I demand satisfaction.” As soon as the words left his mouth chaos erupted. Rey ran up to them and tried begging Hux to reconsider, but his mind was set.

“Please don’t agree,” she begged as she turned to Ben. He didn’t look at her, his steely gaze was fixed on Hux.

“And you shall receive it.” Ben spat, before leaning into Hux to whisper: “this ends tonight. You find your second and we meet in Saint Mark's square at midnight.”

Rey felt as if she would faint with his response. Behind them, there was a new uproar and Rose waded her way through the crowd to pull Rey away from the two men. It was settled.

There would be a duel.

And both were out for blood.

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry *runs away and hides*


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YES! I'M! BACK! I know this update is coming hot on the heels of the last one but when you have an extra week off you fucking make the most of it. 
> 
> just a warning (and spoiler I guess?) for this chapter there is a mention of someone getting shot.

Once the crowd had dispersed, Ben immediately called Poe into his dressing room to ask him to be his second for the duel. He would ask Mitaka but the man was afraid of his own shadow and there would be a very good chance that he would faint before a single shot was fired. In retrospect agreeing to a duel with people watching probably was not the wisest decision.

“If I'm going to be your second I need to know what this is about,” Poe said as he leant against the closed door of Ben's dressing room, “I know that the two of you have hated each other since you were children but that's not reason enough for this. I have to ask you, is this anything to do with Rey? Because she is the only thing that you two have in common.”

“Yes,” he said, avoiding eye contact as Poe's anger bubbled beneath the surface.

“You idiot!” Poe snapped, “ I hope you know that you have backed yourself into a corner. If Hux wins you’ll be dead and god knows what will happen to Rey but if you win then Hux will be dead and you will have to leave unless you want to face execution. Either way, the very person you are doing this for will lose in the end.”

Poe was right, but Ben knew that there was no other way. He had tarnished her reputation and he dreaded to think of what Hux would do to her if Ben were to lose. If Ben were to win he would have to leave Venice and he wasn’t sure if he could convince Rey to come with him. 

“Do you love her?” Poe asked, “do you truly love her?”

“Yes.”

“And does she love you? Be honest with me because I can't imagine Hux wanting a duel if she wasn't also involved somehow.”

“Words of love were exchanged, both spoken and written,” Ben whispered, feeling as if he was being told off by a parent, as though the prospect of imminent death was not punishment enough. Poe simply hung his head and sighed.

“We should go and get ready. Why did you choose Saint Marks Square, of all places, at midnight?” Poe asked as they made their way out of the theatre, ignoring the stares of people they passed.

“It's late enough that nobody will be there and it will be too dark for someone to see our faces.”

Almost immediately they went back to Ben's home where he could prepare and Poe could get a doctor organized should one of them be injured. Under normal circumstances, he would just fire wide and end the whole thing, but this was different and at the center of it all there was Rey and her future was being made more uncertain by the minute.

As soon as he arrived at his house he sat down at his desk and began writing out his will. If he were to die he wanted to make sure that he could write some of his wrongs that he could not do in life, starting with Rey, stating that any sons she had would inherit his estate after they come of age. He knew that there was very little that he could give Rey herself, but he hoped that knowing that her future children would be looked after would help comfort her somewhat if he were to die. He of course left some money and personal items to his family, but he knew that he had to make sure that Rey was taken care of.

After that, he penned a personal note to her and strictly instructed Bebe to give it to Maz and only Maz if he was not back by sunrise. Bebe tried to ask him as to why there was such a sense of urgency, but he would not answer. Too many people knew about this already and any more, even a woman whose family had worked for his for generations, could not know.

He looked at the duelling pistol hanging on his wall, taking it down and inspecting it. He knew how to shoot well enough, his father had taught him, but in a duel, he was less sure. His forte was always fencing and he knew that he could be lethal, nearly killing his partner some years ago. Now it was the real thing and suddenly Ben was unsure of himself. He knew that he had to win unless a deal could be reached with Hux, but even then Rey would still be left with her fate hanging in the balance, so Ben knew that he must live.

He took the pistol and weighed it in his hand, having not held it in many years, with the last time being when he had it put up. He tried to ignore the sinking feeling in his stomach at the prospect of potentially killing another person. He knew that he needed to ground himself somehow so he could remember what this was all for. He reached for Rey’s ribbon and wrapped it around his wrist, keeping it close, so that if he died he knew that he would have a part of her with him as the light faded from his eyes. 

He wasn't particularly aware of the passage of time other than Poe arriving with a doctor and being told that it was half-past eleven. The journey to Saint Mark’s passed Ben by in a haze and it wasn't until he could see Saint Mark’s Basilica that he realized that it was time. That was when the steely determination set in and his mind began to focus on one thing and one thing only.

Killing Hux.

* * *

Rey had been practically inconsolable when she got home. She couldn't tell her mother what was going on but she knew that she had to stop it somehow. After Hux’s demand for a duel, he left with a flourish, but not before shooting a threatening glare her way. Now she sat at home in her bed and wondered what she could do. 

Rose had tried to comfort her by telling her that they would shoot wide and it would be over, but Rey knew that that wasn't the case. She knew both of them well enough to know that they were out for blood and it would only be over when one of them was dead. As much as she disliked Hux she didn’t want him dead and she didn’t want Ben to be responsible for his murder, and she certainly did to want Ben to be killed. She knew that she had to find a way to stop it, but she didn't know how beyond barricading them in their homes. 

Time continued to pass and the hands on the clock came closer and closer to striking midnight and Rey found that she could not let this agony go on and she was going to do something. Quietly she got dressed and found a cloak to disguise herself and made her way out, all while avoiding waking up the servants or her mother.

The streets were always quiet at night, but this night especially so. Not a soul could be seen or heard from as she made her way down the cobblestone streets, where her only company was the sound of water passing through the canals. It was as if the whole city knew what was about to happen and were hiding away in fear of what the result might be and what it may bring. Eventually, she found herself at the entrance to Saint Mark's square and saw them back to back, marching away from each other. 

Rey didn't even think.

She just ran.

* * *

“I presume you know how this works?” Hux sneered at Ben as they met outside the Basilica. Ben couldn't help but begin to regret his decision when he noticed the criminals’ bodies hanging towards the entrance of the square.

_ And let this be a lesson to you all,  _ he thought grimly as the bodies rotted where they hung. Unfortunately, it was not lesson enough for him and Hux who were moments away from ending each other's lives.

“Of course I know how this works,” Ben snapped, “although I do question your knowledge as you have not brought a second.”

“The doctor shall be mine,” Hux spat out, which surprised the doctor, “seconds are only useful if you intend to find an alternate way of settling this issue and we both know that this is the only course of action.”

“You must forgive me sir, but I wish to have no part in this other than to potentially save one of your lives,” the doctor said, “but I hope it does not come to that.”

“Did you bring your own gun?” Ben asked as Hux pulled out an overly decorated pistol that made him roll his eyes at the sheer pettiness of it all.

“If both of you are ready we should get this over with,” Poe said after seeing Hux’s pistol.

They both readied their pistols and stood back to back before each taking a step away. The night was surprisingly beautiful, Ben noted, with the moon at its peak, reflecting off of the golden paintings of the basilica that gave it an almost ethereal quality about it. He was so focused on the night and taking his ten paces that he almost didn't hear the sound of someone running.

“Stop! Stop!” Poe and the doctor called out in a panic.

“Rey, get out of their way!”   
  


_ Rey.  _

“No, no you need to stop this!” Rey cried, “please don't do this to yourselves.”   
  
“Someone move the bitch so I can kill him!” Hux shouted.

“Hux don't you dare speak to her like that!” That was when Ben turned around. It was clear to him that they could not have the duel and sure enough, Rey was there, standing in between them, tears running down her face, each one reflecting in the moonlight. Hux still had his back to them, clearly still ready to have the duel, even with Rey witnessing.

That was when Poe went and grabbed Rey to pull her away as she told him to unhand her. She was practically begging Poe to let her go as he struggled to get her away from the scene.

“Oh I've had enough of this,” Hux grumbled loudly.

That was when he turned around, with his gun in the air, ready and aimed. Ben, in preparation for death, closed his eyes, waiting for what would almost certainly be a fatal wound. A shot rang out and a scream was heard, but Ben felt no pain.

He opened his eyes to see Rey standing in front of Hux, who wore a shocked expression on his face. As Rey turned around to face him he saw the blood on her shoulder and realized what had happened.

Rey had been shot.

After the moment of shock had passed he and the doctor ran to her. Once she was in his arms her legs gave out and she collapsed. Her breathing was shaky and it was clear that she was in a lot of pain. Every time he tried to move her so the doctor could try and help she screamed out in pain. It broke his heart to see it knowing that she shouldn't have been the one in the bullet's path. 

He almost didn't even notice that a crowd had formed after hearing the gun ringing out in the square. All those people saw was Hux shooting an innocent woman and a man rushing to her side. Hux did not remain at the scene very long, running as fast as he could the moment he realized he had shot Rey. It was only natural that Hux should leave her as she potentially lay dying because he had shot her.

“Rey…” Ben whispered as the doctor got to work trying to help her.

“I love you,” she whispered back, voice shaking before finally passing out.

* * *

Rey couldn't remember going to sleep.

She didn't remember putting on her nightgown and climbing into bed, yet when she woke up she found herself in her bed as the sunlight streamed through the windows. As she looked to her side she saw her mother kneeling at her bedside, praying furiously in a way she had never seen before. After seeing that Rey remembered everything that had happened the night before; the duel, the bullet and eventually passing out.

“Mother…” Rey croaked, her voice raspy from disuse, getting her mother’s attention. The moment Maz saw that she was awake she burst into tears, kissing her and holding her in any way she could that would not disrupt her wound.

“What were you thinking!” she cried through tears, “you could have died!”

“I’m sorry…”

“No, don't be sorry,” Maz said, “you have a lot of explaining to do, but now I'm just glad you are alive. You've been asleep for two days and I wasn't all that sure you were going to wake up. I'll have something brought up for you to eat.” She could see that her mother was incredibly distressed, but when she called for one of the maids to inform her that she had woken up, Rey was incredibly surprised to see the girl burst into tears, even being teary-eyed as she brought her toast and hardboiled eggs.

After eating, Rey realized that despite having been asleep for the last two days, she could use another hour and went back to sleep. Over the next few days, Rey mostly rested and ate, with frequent visits from the doctor. She was sad that she had missed Jessika and Mitaka’s wedding, but most of all she missed getting to see her friends and Ben. She could understand why Ben may not come, but she had hoped that maybe Rose would visit to see how she was fairing having just been shot. Really the only person she had seen, outside of her mother and the staff was the doctor. 

She tried not to be upset by it, but somewhere deep down she felt a bit rejected. She wondered if Hux had started talking and there was now a great scandal attached to her name and her friends no longer wanted to be associated with her. It wasn't right but she could understand it, and Ben probably wanted to avoid damaging her reputation further and that was why he never came to call. 

After a week had gone by, her wound was clearing up and she no longer was bed bound. She was able to get dressed and read in the sitting room. She would probably have a scar on her shoulder for the rest of her life, but she found that she did not mind as long as the pain went away soon. 

That afternoon, after a round of her mother fussing endlessly over her, Rey had found a bit of quiet when she heard someone knock at the door. She suspected that it was the doctor seeing as her mother had him coming over daily to check that she was alright and that there was no infection.

When the doctor wasn't immediately brought to Rey as usual she began to worry that something was wrong. She could hear heavy footsteps approaching, along with the hurried ones of their housekeeper guiding the visitor to where Rey was located. When the door opened she found that she was not confronted with the doctor but rather Ben smiling at her.

“Mr. Solo,” the housekeeper introduced, and Rey could not restrain her smile. The door closed leaving the two of them alone. Immediately Ben went up to her and gently kissed her as if he was worried that he could hurt her with even the simplest touch.

“As long as you avoid my shoulder you can hold me,” Rey said, and Ben wasted no time wrapping his strong arms around her, kissing her so deeply she thought that she could drown just in his touch. As they pulled away she could see that his eyes were becoming glassy with tears that he was trying to hold back.

“I was so worried…”

“Ben can you please tell me what happened, nobody has told me anything.”

“That was because we agreed that once the dust had settled, I would be the one to tell you.” he took a deep, shaking breath, preparing himself, “after you got shot I carried you back here with the doctor and Poe. You were bleeding out quite severely and by the time we got back here, there wasn't even enough time to get you into your bed. We had to lay you down just outside the door and wake up the servants and your mother so we could all try and help you,” tears were flowing freely and Rey reached up to touch his face to wipe them away, “I thought we were going to lose you, you came so close.”

“But I'm still here,” Rey said, trying to comfort him and herself in the wake of the fact that she came dangerously close to death. They sat in silence, holding each other as Ben kept pressing kisses to her forehead.

“I should think my reputation is horribly ruined now,” Rey tried to joke although it was no laughing matter. When she looked at Ben she found for the first time that she couldn't read his expression.

“About that,” he said, his voice sounding lighter and more hopeful, “that's the funny thing about gossip, it can never really be relied upon but it is always taken as gospel. You see, nobody actually saw a duel take place, they heard a declaration but never actually saw one because when the people around Saint Marks left their houses they saw a woman having been shot by her fiance while her sworn enemy cried and carried her to safety. Only Hux’s gun went off, not mine and Hux made the mistake of not having a second so there was nobody to defend his actions.”

“So you won't face punishment for the duel?”

“I can't be punished for something that never happened. Hux was the one who shot and ran from the scene, so by all of society's standards he is the villain of this story, ” he pointed out, “but also in the meantime, you have become something of a hero.”

“Me?” Rey asked, not sure if she had heard right, “I thought I would be labelled as a whore, not a hero.”

“I did worry about that myself, but as it turns out many people benefit from Hux’s hasty departure from Venice so any questions they may hold in regards to the reason for the duel they have mostly kept to themselves. For all intents and purposes this duel was simply a case of old rivalries boiling over,” he said, pausing for a moment, “it's quite an incredible story, isn't it? A woman steps in front of a bullet to save a man who by all accounts she hates and that man is subsequently seen practically living in church, praying until he gets word that she will live. It's actually quite romantic if you think about it…” his voice was shaking, but this time it wasn’t out of having to recall a painful memory.

“Ben…” she whispered, not daring to hope.

“Will you marry me?” He blurted out, sounding terrified as Rey’s vision became cloudy with tears of joy, “I have spoken with your mother and she said she will only agree if you say—”

“Yes!” Rey cried, unable to contain herself and joy any longer, “yes, yes, a thousand times yes.” 

They laughed, they cried, they kissed, but most of all they finally had each other at last because nothing could come between them.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, it's a happy ending.
> 
> ill try and get the epilogue out soon but I just wanted to say a quick thank you to everyone who read, left kudos and commented on this very self-indulgent fic of mine. I'm so happy you have taken the time to read and (hopefully) enjoy it and I'm honestly sad to be saying goodbye to it soon.


	18. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is it. we have reached the end! it feels weird concluding this story after almost five months of writing. I hope that this wraps everything up nicely and I give everyone a happy ending they deserve.

Over the next few days, Rey found that she was almost drowning in friends coming to call to the point where she was tempted to grab a broom and shoo them away like mice. As it turned out the reason for her initial lack of visitors was because they were working to make sure that the gossip narrative favoured Rey and Ben, and her reputation remained intact. Although with the slew of visitors also came the surprised reactions to the announcement of hers and Ben's engagement. 

“Have I heard this correctly?” Rose asked as they sat down for tea, “you and Mr. Ben Solo are engaged?” Rey broke out into a massive smile and nodded, while Rose wore a rather baffled expression, “you have to understand that I was taken aback when I heard, especially after all the times you have complained about him being so stubborn.”

“But I love him,” Rey said, with a dreamy quality about her, “all those times I said that I hated him, really I loved him but I was so afraid of how I felt. I let my initial prejudice against him cloud my judgement but now it is so clear that I love him, and all this time he loved me as well.” her friend still didn’t seem convinced, “Rose, I had been so wrong about him and his character. He isn’t cruel and stuck up, he’s understanding, and gentle, and…”

“Tall,” Rose supplied before Rey could finish, making both women break out into a fit of giggles. After the initial laughter, the mood shifted and Rose looked incredibly uncomfortable, shifting in her seat and abetting her gaze, “although, the wedding is only two weeks away and seeing as we are alone we should probably get this out of the way.” As Rose began to blush, Rey realized where the conversation was going but didn’t know how she could stop it.

“Rose…”

“I know that you have a mother for this, but she is unmarried and I feel like you should be fully prepared for what is going to happen on your wedding night—”

“Rose…”

“—And I know it’s not proper to discuss this but you should know—”

“I already know!” Rey blurted out, desperate to avoid the impending conversation, “my mother had our cook explain the first time round in great detail as to what will happen,” Rey recounted, trying to banish the uncomfortable memory from her mind. She wasn’t outright lying to Rose, Mrs. Russo had told her about what was to be expected of her, although the details had been sparing, probably because the poor woman was worried about scandalizing her. 

“Oh,” Rose said slightly embarrassed, “well I just wanted to make sure, because I wasn't prepared for my wedding night and I didn’t wish the same to happen to you. Although if you are nervous try setting your husband's sleeve alight, that greatly calmed my nerves.” They both laughed at the image and proceeded to talk about plans for the wedding.

Planning the wedding wasn't nearly as tedious as Rey thought it would be. They had already acquired the licence and had the honeymoon organized, so all that was left to do was get married. They had both agreed that they didn't want to spend their wedding night at an inn en route to Florence, so they decided to leave the following morning. Truly the only source of conflict between them in regards to the wedding was the presence of Hux’s mother. Rey felt sorry for her, and with her son now living in some town by the French border called Ventimiglia she was all alone. In the end, Mrs. Hux declined the wedding invitation but did request a luncheon with Rey to wish her well in her marriage. 

Rey obliged, believing that it was the least she could do after putting her through so much over the weeks. In the end, that luncheon acted as a goodbye for the both of them. Mrs. Hux told Rey that she was going to live with her son, saying she missed him and didn't want to welcome old age alone with a son that was far away. Rey could tell that the scandal of the duel had been cruel to her, and she had enough of what people were saying behind her back. 

After an afternoon of well-wishing, Rey said goodbye, promising to write to her, and not to forget her. 

* * *

Ben hadn’t thought that he would be nervous before his wedding. He thought that was something reserved for people who only had lukewarm feelings towards their future spouse, yet as he stood at the altar, waiting for Rey, he found himself close to shaking with nerves. In the end, when the organ began to play and Rey walked through the church's doors, he found that all his fears were gone in an instant.

Ben was rather grateful that they had decided to spend their wedding night in his home because the moment he saw her walk down the aisle in her wedding dress, he knew that he didn't want to wait until they reached the inn for him to rip it off of her. However, once she was at the altar, he ceased thinking such salacious thoughts, instead of being captivated by the woman standing beside him.

It hadn't really sunk in that they were going to actually be married. For so long the prospect of spending his life with Rey had been nothing more than a fantasy to torture himself over, but here they were, at the altar about to take their vows. In an attempt to remind himself that this was all real, subtly he reached his hand over to hers so he could clasp it as the bishop began to speak. 

_ I love you, so, so much,  _ he thought, gazing into her eyes as she spoke her vows. 

“You may now kiss the bride,” the bishop announced and almost immediately, Ben pulled Rey into his arms and gave up restraint altogether. When their lips met he momentarily forgot that they were in a church surrounded by their families because he was so lost in the kiss and the feeling of Rey’s soft pink lips against his. Luckily Rey seemed to have some hold of reality because she pulled away before it could get any deeper and they scandalized those watching them.

At the reception, he tried to get a chance to pull his wife away to be alone for just a few moments, but it appeared that there was an even greater effort to keep them apart after they were married than before. Every person in attendance seemed to have collectively decided that it was necessary to take ten minutes each to congratulate him, before moving on to independently congratulate his wife.

_ Wife…  _

He still couldn't believe that they were married. If only he could have a moment with her and they could both, privately, confirm that it was all real and he wasn't dreaming. Unfortunately, his father approached, killing any more thoughts of pulling Rey away and having his way with her.

“Baba,” Ben said, almost cheerfully, not having it within him to muster the usual scowl that he greeted his father with. 

“Ben,” he acknowledged, “you seem irritated.”

“What makes you say that?”

“You won’t stop glaring at your guests.”   
  


“They won’t stop congratulating me.”

“You shouldn't be surprised with that!” Han laughed, “your mother had almost given up hope you would ever marry, and I was beginning to assume that you were going to take after your uncle Lando,” as he said that, out of the corner of his eye, ben noticed his uncle, Mr. Lando Calrissian taking the opportunity to flirt with as many women as he could, despite his advanced age. Ben’s eye then turned to Rey who was laughing about something with Jessika. He didn't even realize that he was smiling, or that his father had noticed.

“You don’t realize how happy it makes me, seeing you like this,” his father continued, a wistful air to his voice, “it reminds me of your mother and I. Don’t be like me Ben. Be there for your family.” his father’s candour shocked him. Before either could get too emotional, Han congratulated him for the final time and made his way over to his wife.

Eventually, the celebration died down and it was time for the newlyweds to leave.

As requested, all the staff, after welcoming the couple to their new (or in Ben’s case, old) home, left immediately at an almost breakneck speed. Ben couldn’t help but notice how amusing Rey found the speed at which the staff left. As the last few people began to leave Ben suddenly found himself alone, with Rey nowhere to be seen. He would have gone looking for her, but there was one straggler who was running behind and Ben wanted to see them leave to be sure that they were completely alone for the night. 

“I’m sorry sir,” the boy said as he left.

“Be faster next time,” Ben said, not bothering to hide his annoyance. The moment the door was shut he went searching for Rey. It wasn't much of a search in truth, if anything it was just a drawn-out walk to the bedroom as he shedded layers until he wore just his shirtsleeves and trousers. Rey had told him once that he looked “rather dashing,” when dressed like that, so naturally, on their wedding night, Ben would be a gentleman and oblige her.

When he reached the bedroom he found the door closed. Slowly he opened the door, seeing his wife sitting on the bed, completely naked.

* * *

Rey hadn’t been entirely sure of her plan to greet her husband naked when he walked into the room, but when she saw the hungry look in his eyes all her doubts melted away. Instead, any trepidation she felt was only replaced with almost overwhelming arousal.

“Well, Mrs. Solo,” he growled as he stalked towards her, the mention of her new name sending a thrill through her body, “I have to say you look rather enticing like that on our bed, waiting for me.” he climbed on with her, and immediately began to kiss her, slowly but forcefully, like he wanted to be careful with her but also couldn't contain his own arousal. He wrapped his strong arms around her, while she ran her hands over his chest, slowly creeping down until she was palming his bulge through his trousers. 

Catching the hint, Ben leapt from the bed and removed the offending fabric as quickly as he could. As he stood there, naked, Rey crawled up to him, admiring his length, noting a particularly tempting vein that she wanted to lick. She sat on the edge of the bed, taking him in hand as she went to press a kiss to his head, but he stopped her before she got the chance.

“Maybe later,” he said as he knelt down, “right now I want to focus on you.” There was determination behind his eyes as he encouraged her to lie on his— their bed. Once she was lying down he looked upon her, admiring how she looked sprawled across the pillows, “you are so beautiful,” he said breathlessly, “call this my late thank you.”

“What for?” She asked as he crouched between her legs, kissing the inside of her thighs, nipping at the skin and soothing it with his tongue. The build-up was the most exquisite agony, and she felt herself getting wetter and wetter.

“For saving my life.” Something unspoken passed between them, and for a moment everything was silent. Their shared passion had not diffused, but for that brief moment, it was background noise. His eyes darted to the scar on her shoulder, and a constant reminder of the most terrifying nights of her life, yet she knew that she would do it all again if she had to, because she knew that through the pain, happiness resided beyond it.

“I love you,” she whispered.

A wicked grin crossed Ben's lips before he said, “I know.”

A laugh burst from her lips unexpectedly. She should have admonished him, but before she could come to her senses he licked from her entrance to her clit and any reprimand died on her tongue, coming out in only breathy moans and gasps. Instead, the sound of her moans echoed throughout the room. Ben's ministrations were so focused that in hardly any time she was coming with a scream.

He gave her almost no time to recover before he was crawling up over her and aligning himself with her entrance. He pressed a chaste kiss to her lips before thrusting his hips into hers, setting a punishing pace, while Rey could only cling onto him for dear life. The feeling was almost overwhelming, with the combination of his speed and the angle at which he thrust into her, repeatedly hitting that spot inside of her that made her see stars, she thought she was going to shatter.

Feeling herself getting closer and closer to that precipice, she wrapped her legs around her husband's hips, holding him in place. He gave her a quizzical look before realization dawned on him.

“Are you sure?” he panted, continuing to thrust, albeit at a slower pace than before.

“Yes,” she said, nodding her head. That was all he needed as his hips sped up, bringing them both to their peak. He rolled off of her, gathering her in his arms and she could feel his spend dripping out of her. It was a strange sensation but not unpleasant.

“Husband?”

“Yes?”

“Sorry, I just like saying it.”

“That's alright, wife,” he said, kissing her, “my beautiful, beautiful wife.”

* * *

In all his life, Ben never thought it possible to be so consistently happy. For the first thirty years of his life, he believed that the longest someone could be happy was a day at the most, yet as it turned out, he was continually proving himself wrong every day he woke up with Rey in his arms.

“Morning,” she grumbled into his shoulder as the sunlight streamed through the gaps between the curtains, letting streaks of light into the mostly dark room, “are you ready for today?”

“Absolutely not,” he bemoaned, “I’d much rather stay here with you.” Judging by the light, it was still quite early and they had a bit of time before they needed to get up.

“I’m sure everyone will be happy with their roles, and if they don’t you know that they’ll just come up to me and ask to see if I can change your mind.” he rolled his eyes at that. Ever since taking over the opera house after his uncle retired, cast members who found themselves not being given their ideal role tended to flock to Rey to try and see if she could change her husband's mind. It never worked, but still, they tried, hoping that she would listen to their tale of woe.

As they lay together, Ben realized that it was only the two of them in their bed. 

“Somethings missing,” he pointed out, causing Rey to turn to him in concern, but he quickly calmed her worries, “the little monster isn't with us.” 

“Yes, this is usually the time when he decides to crawl in with us,” Rey acknowledged, although there was a suggestive lilt to her voice, “whatever will we do with this privacy?”

“I have a few ideas,” he growled, before flipping her onto her back and kissing her senseless. He moved so he was hovering above her, caging her with his legs as he continued his exploration of her mouth. His hand had just begun sliding up her leg, taking her nightdress with it, when they heard the sound of a door creaking.

With lightning speed, Ben moved off her and curled his body around hers as innocuously as possible; all without alerting the toddler currently plodding into the room that there was anything amiss. Almost as soon as he could walk, Joseph decided to make it his mission to wake up his parents every morning, without fail. 

“Good morning darling,” Rey whispered as he climbed into their bed.

“Goo’ morning mama. I’m hungry,” he declared. That was one of the side effects of not using a live-in nanny, they would have to be woken up at all hours of the night. Rey had adamantly refused to have another woman that wasn't part of the family raising her child. When Rey returned to the opera she eventually conceded and had a woman look after Joseph, but for the most part, Rey did it herself. 

“Well we need to do something about that,” Rey agreed, picking him up and taking him downstairs to let the staff know that they were up. 

As much as they would complain about being woken up early, they both had to admit that there was something about the quiet time they had together with just the three of them that was truly precious. 

“Can I see Grandmama?” Joseph asked as they sat down for breakfast. Grandmama was what he called Maz who absolutely doted on the boy. That wasn't to suggest that his parents ignored their grandson, quite the contrary, in fact sometimes it was hard to get them to leave when Joseph was near.

“Of course you can darling,” Rey replied, even though they were going to have dinner there that evening. Her answer seemed to satisfy him and he continued eating his toast, not minding in the slightest that most of the jam appeared to be going down his front rather than into his mouth. 

There was a brief moment of silence before he asked his next question.

“Can I have a brother?” he asked innocently, making Ben and Rey both choke on their food. 

“Why do you want a brother?” Ben asked as Rey continued coughing.

“To play with,” Joseph answered before going back to his toast. It wasn't as though he was bereft of friends to play with. Mitaka and Jessika visited frequently with their daughters as well as Finn and Rose with their son who was born not long after Joseph.

When Ben looked over at Rey she suddenly seemed very uncomfortable, and not making eye contact with him, carefully schooling her face to one of impassivity. They did want another child, and it wasn't for lack of trying either, but still, there was nothing. It had been hard on both of them, but it had been particularly demoralizing to Rey.

Ben reached across the table and gently held her hand, swiping his thumb over her knuckles in a gesture of comfort. Still avoiding his gaze, she turned to open a letter from Hux’s mother to try and distract herself. 

“I’m sorry my love,” Ben said after breakfast, pulling her aside before they left.

“Whatever for?” Rey asked, appearing genuinely confused.

“Joseph’s comments about a brother. I know it's been hard for you, and I could see you trying not to cry…” he trailed off when she began laughing. He wasn't sure what she found so funny, but looking at her she was beaming.

“I’m sorry,” she said, grinning ear to ear, with what looked like tears running down her face. Ben instinctively went to wipe them away, “I shouldn't laugh.”

“Is something funny... or sad? I'm not entirely sure based on your reaction.”

“Ben, I wasn't crying,” she said, “I'm not sad by any stretch of the imagination, I’m happy Ben. so happy.”

“Then what is making you so happy?”

“Joseph may get that brother after all,” she didn't need to say anymore. He picked her up and spun her around in his joy.

“You’re sure?” he asked his smile just as wide as hers.

“Positive.”

“I love you so much, Rey.”

“I love you too Ben.”

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to say thank you to all the people who read this very obscure little story that came to me out of nowhere. I hope you have enjoyed it and hope I see you around soon!

**Author's Note:**

> if anybody reading this notices any historical inaccuracies please let me know, im trying to make this as realistic as possible so any knowledge about topics covered here would be much appreciated.


End file.
